Meet Jennifer Tracy

Today we’d like to introduce you to Jennifer Tracy.

Jennifer, please share your story with us. How did you get to where you are today?
My pregnancy was one of the happiest times of my life. My husband and I were so in love, I felt healthy and full of promise and excitement about the upcoming birth of our son. The whole world was in front of me, even though we had no money and were struggling financially. We had each other and we spent lots of time together. I did have some anxiety about being a first time mom, and some generalized anxiety, but overall, I was so happy. Then my son was born. The birth itself was beautiful. It’s what’s called a speedster birth. From the first contraction to delivery was a total of 5 hours.

My recovery was somewhat slow, as I had 3rd degree tearing. As soon as we came home with the baby, my husband took work. He didn’t take any time off because he was anxious about our finances and having a new mouth to feed (even though my breasts were doing all the feeding). 18 days later, he took work out of town in Boston for four months. To this day, I believe that was our undoing. I, alone in our home with a newborn and no family or support to help me, felt abandoned and discarded. Even though I knew he was doing this in the name of providing for us. That job ended and turned into another out of town job that took him abroad for nine months. When he came home, we were strangers, and he hadn’t seen his son learn to sit up, walk, talk, eat solid foods. He’d missed it all, not to mention our relationship which had taken a back seat to everything.

Actually, it wasn’t even in the car anymore. We tried couples therapy. I went on location with him (and took the baby with us) on the next job. But his 14 hours, six days a week work schedule still left us little time together as a family and I was even more alone, in a foreign city with my then two year old. What I didn’t know until I had a breakdown and started pulling my hair out from its roots and scratching my arms one day after I accidentally clipped the tip of my son’s tiny finger trying to cut his nails… was that I was suffering from postpartum depression. It was pretty severe at this point and I had thought this entire time that I was just flawed, a terrible mother, not a ‘natural’ at this thing that everyone else (in my mind) was doing with complete ease and grace.

I realized, locked in the bathroom of that flat in New Orleans, my son on the other side of the door, crying, and clumps of hair in my hands, that I needed help. Professional help. I called my obgyn and I flew home. I got on meds and I went to a therapist specializing in maternal mental health. I got better. It took about a month, and then I felt a little better. And a little better. And a little better. Soon, my son started preschool. I had about 3 hours to do stuff. Three hours to myself that I hadn’t had in 3 years time. My husband and I were in couple’s therapy, trying to reconnect, sometimes we would and sometimes we couldn’t. We tried. We tried so hard for so long.

When my son was in Kindergarten, I began to have a life of my own. I was working, I was writing, I was taking pole dancing class. I felt like a new version of myself. The old version was long dead. The pregnant lady who was so full of hope and joy and anticipation… she was gone. And now I was a woman. A fully formed, fully destroyed and resurrected woman. Never to be the same. I started writing again. I wrote a novel. I wrote and published essays. I felt alive again. When our son was 7, my husband and I separated. It was so painful, but our marriage was over and we both realized we deserved more.

In the wake of all of these many shifts and changes, I realized I wanted to give voice to this experience. Not just my experience, but ALL experiences of motherhood and the unfathomable change that comes when you become a parent. It changes everything in your being. It changes your relationship to your spouse, your friends, your work, your passions, your fears, everything. So, I wanted to create something for other moms, new moms, veteran moms, moms struggling with all the millions of issues we face with our own bodies and our children’s growth, development and wellbeing.

From there, I began MILF podcast. Mom’s I’d Like to Follow. I liked the idea of having a show where I could interview moms about all the things: sexuality, entrepreneurship, motherhood, and everything in between. The response since I started the show in July of 2018 has been astounding. A community has sprung up around the show and the women who are leading the charge in elevating the voices and stories of other women. I’m blown away by what it’s become. Moreover, I’m so grateful for the privilege of facilitating this platform for women’s stories and watching as it grows!

We’re always bombarded by how great it is to pursue your passion, etc – but we’ve spoken with enough people to know that it’s not always easy. Overall, would you say things have been easy for you?
Elevating women’s voices isn’t always at the top of everyone’s list. Now is a good time to do it since there’s been a lot of movement in that area all over the world. But I have had some resistance. Most of the time, it’s me. I’m my own worst enemy. Luckily, I’ve had the luck to have amazing mentors who tell me to buck up and keep going, that my feelings of despair or fear that it won’t be accepted are just feelings and that it’s the doing of it that counts. The rest isn’t up to me. That takes a lot of pressure off. I’m really just the messenger. This thing is way bigger than me.

We’d love to hear more about your work and what you are currently focused on. What else should we know?
My business is two fold: I have the podcast to provide a free forum to people who want to learn about women’s stories. I’m so passionate about it and when I started, I had absolutely no idea it would grow into what it’s become already only in the first year. The other side of my business is that I coach writers. Mostly female writers. I work 1:1 with novelists, memoirists, screenwriters and playwrights. I LOVE this work. Nothing lights me up more than seeing someone connect the dots on the story they want to tell and figure out exactly how to articulate it onto the page, the screen, the stage. It’s fantastical! I also have online courses on my jennifertracy.com website where people can get a taste of what I teach for a very affordable price. I believe that each of us who are inspired to write are inspired because we are the only ones who are meant to write that story.

We have the desire, the experience, and the exact know-how to execute that story. The trouble is, most writers don’t believe they can do it, and so they never do, or they end up listening to coaches who tell them their story has to fit into a certain shape, or that if they want to “sell” it, it has to look like another famous story. While there is some minor truth to those things, my belief is that the most important piece of the process of writing is listening to your own inspiration and learning how to follow that unapologetically. Think of all of the innovative art, TV, movies, music you’ve experienced. Those artists who were the first to bridge those gaps and try something so new and different that nobody had seen before… don’t you think they got laughed at and rejected? And then they did it anyway and it was a hit and then everyone wanted to copy them. I encourage my writers to write from their heart’s desires instead of trying to write to fit someone else’s format or box.

Has luck played a meaningful role in your life and business?
I don’t believe in good luck or bad luck. I believe in timing, patience, and intention. I was born into a lot of good luck. I’m a white female in the United States. I have been extremely privileged. So, how can I repay that? By helping those less privileged to share their stories and elevate their voices. Every episode, I highlight a charity organization that I’m actively donating money to, giving my time to, getting involved with. It’s important to me to share that as part of my message so that it doesn’t just become another interview show. Service is paramount to happiness. The more I serve my community, the more at peace I feel because my usefulness in service to others is what gives me the most self-esteem and serenity. More than any accolades or press or certainly material things. I’ve tried all of those and they’re fun. But ultimately, it’s that heart to heart give-back that pays the most dividends.

Pricing:

• Online courses starting at $27

Contact Info:

• Address: 7119 W Sunset Blvd
  Suite 1112
  Los Angeles, CA 90046
• Website: www.jennifertracy.com and www.milfpodcast.com
• Email: sky@jennifertracy.com
• Instagram: @jennifertracy_
• Facebook: @jennifertracy
• Twitter: @themilfpodcast

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