Today we’d like to introduce you to Xinhao Lu.
Alright, so thank you so much for sharing your story and insight with our readers. To kick things off, can you tell us a bit about how you got started?
My name is Xinhao Lu, and my English name is Violet. It means a shy person. Even though I’m pretty outgoing, but I believe the real me is definitely a shy guy.
I am an international student from China, currently studying film directing at the American Film Institute. But before that, I was an orienteering athlete, an undergraduate finance major at a finance university, and a young man with an unbridled love for film. Many people know that the American Film Institute is one of the most prestigious film schools in the United States, and many say that you have to have a lot of experience within the film industry to get into this school, but I am obviously a little different. I had only made two short films before I was accepted, but I had to work many times harder than the average person.
When I was still in high school, I was an athlete. At that time, I already loved art and I wanted to be an artist. But everyone around me, including my parents, thought I was dreaming and over-ambitious. No one could understand me. But for me, I didn’t know whether I was over-ambitious or not, I just knew what I should do and what I loved to do the most. So, with everyone’s uncomprehending eyes, I started to read books and watch films by myself. Even training under 35 degrees, I still thought about films and art.
I remember when I was still in my sophomore year of university, I was ready to sign up for an international education agency. I remember calling my mom and she said, “Let’s apply for an advertising major, you can make money in the future,” and I said yes. Then I hesitated for more than half an hour on the signature line, and finally, I called my mom and said, “Mom, I really want to study film”. My mom said, “Then do it, and never think back”.
During the period from my freshman year to my junior year, although I was still studying finance at the University of Finance and Economics, I had already devoted myself to the study of film. The most vivid memory is that in the second semester of my sophomore year, I discovered a documentary. After watching it, I felt like I understood something. The documentary was called Film History, which introduced the history of world cinema and the “stars” scattered in the film galaxy in great detail. The works and stories of masters like Yasujiro Ozu, Martin Scorsese, Zhang Yimou and so on were like some kind of wisdom from the deepest part of mankind, leading me. I began to feel that there is such a great invention in the world as film, which can connect me with those masters with wisdom and talk with them so intimately that we “talk” about philosophy, “talk” about society, “talk” about dreams. “It was a fascinating feeling like I was introduced to another parallel world, where I was watching everything, absorbing everything, feeling everything. That feeling is beyond wonderful, it is even addictive. At this moment, I can’t stand it, I must create my own work, otherwise the burning fire in my heart will keep on burning, it’s hard to calm down. So, I made up my mind to become a real director. Nothing can change my mind, even if some people’s cynicism, even if some objective conditions are bound. But I carried that determination, the determination that no external factors could stop.
In March 2019, I studied film with a teacher. Because I went to school in Tianjin, but the teacher worked in Beijing, so my constant commuting began. I kept running between Tianjin and Beijing, back and forth, shuttling between school classes and film classes. Every morning I woke up at 7am and started my day with classes. After school, I had to take a 2-hour bus ride to study film and a 2-hour bus ride back, so I had to take a 4-hour bus ride each time. It was already 11 p.m. when I got back to school. But the satisfaction of learning about film was unprecedented, and I felt like a person who was starving and searching for all kinds of food. A few months went by like that. At that time, I always had the confidence that I didn’t know where I got it from, that I was ready.
In the summer of 2019, I started planning my first short film. With the only resources I had, I gathered my friends who used to go to the same high school and are now studying cinematography at the Beijing Film Academy and a director from the Central Academy of Drama. Basically, I ended up barely getting a group together. It was my first time preparing to make a short film, and I didn’t know anything about photography, about production design, no production, nothing. After shooting the film, I couldn’t even edit it. In the end, I didn’t go through any practice and just shot the short film, so it was doomed to failure. I was so full of self-blame, and I always thought I had failed those people who had supported me. I questioned myself over and over again whether I was qualified to be a director or not and whether I was capable of making a work. The people around me also began to turn from encouragement to cynicism, they think I am purely a waste of time. But my mother and my photography, they have always stressed their trust in me. With their support, I decided to do it all over again. This time, I decided to get back on my feet and I was fearless.
Every time I recall that time, my heart is grateful.
After that, I began to constantly practice shooting short films after school. I often dragged a friend from our dorm room to be an actor. Every holiday, every weekend, I used it to write scripts and shoot practice. That’s how I shot about five or six exercises. They were very rough, but it was evident that my efforts were slowly paying off.
In late 2019, by chance, my cinematographer invited me to participate in the Beijing International Student Film and Video Festival. This time, I seemed to be completely enlightened in general, opening up a whole new way of learning about film. I took seven days off and completely soaked in the Beijing Film Academy’s screening room, immersing myself in the images contributed by talented directors from around the world. In the midst of the film immersion, it slowly seemed to dawn on me what elements a film is made of and how it becomes a film. I seemed to gradually understand how short films should be made and how to tell stories with images. After that, under the guidance of my teacher, I started to try to shoot some short films on my own, started to write my own personal stories, and asked myself again and again why I wanted to make films. That time of hunger and thirst to learn about the film not only made me understand more about filmmaking but also made me re-examine myself, my family, the people around me, and the times I live in. This feeling was especially strong when I was writing scripts and stories, more transparent than looking in the mirror. During this period, I wrote many stories that only belonged to me, exploring the contradictions and problems that I faced with myself and the people around me, as well as their own rebellion against the various injustices of life. I had never explored my memory and life like this before, and studying the film gave me a completely different way of thinking. It was as if I had opened a new door for myself, and it was a wonderful world.
Then came the year 2020, when a horrific pandemic swept the world, forcing tens of millions of people to be locked up in their homes. My application plans were also completely disrupted. But this time I didn’t fall into self-doubt and anxiety as I had before. Because my English was not good, I spent a month completely eliminating socializing and devoting myself to studying English. I finally got the grades I needed for school. I also encountered big and small problems while shooting the short film. For example, the venue was closed, the crew could not come temporarily, and so on. But I overcame all of them. The last failure made me understand one thing again: no difficulty can’t be solved. If I didn’t have money, I thought of various ideas to solve it. No people helping, I held a bunch of positions by myself. No location, so we sneaked into the venue to shoot. In this way, against all odds, I was able to complete two short films for the application. Even now, I’m still proud of it.
After I finished shooting the short films, then came the painful post-production. Since I didn’t know anyone who could help me with post-production, I did all the post-production myself. I went online to find out how editing should be done and how I could edit the film to bring out its own mood. It took me more than a month to cut the two short films in a dozen versions each. Finally, the day before the American Film Institute‘s deadline, I submitted all my work.
At the end of the interview, I told the interviewer that I was determined to pursue my film career, no matter what the result would be, I would not stop exploring film and I would keep going. The interviewer said, “I appreciate this love for film, and I hope to see you again. I believe that those who have patience and can focus one thing with their all efforts must also have determination and perseverance and must be able to realize their own dreams as well. People who have dreams are amazing because to dare to dream is a very courageous thing in itself.
This is my story. I’m still a little young, and I haven’t experienced any really big storms, but this is the story of my efforts, and this is the story of my dreams coming true. Getting into film school was no big deal, but more importantly, I learned what kind of attitude I should have to overcome obstacles, and I gained the determination and courage to be fearless. Thanks for reading my story.
Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
It was not a smooth road at all. First I had to work very hard to learn about filmmaking from scratch. And at that time my school was far away from where I was studying film. So I had to reach the high-speed train to Beijing after each class to study film. I didn’t have any rest on weekends and holidays, I was taking classes.
The next thing was shooting. I experienced major failures and setbacks during my first shoot. No one around me, except my mother and my photographer, was really supportive of my film study. But I didn’t care because I knew I had to study film and get into film school.
There was also Covid when I had to try to overcome all the problems caused by the epidemic to finish the shoot. For example, the locations were often blocked off, the crew suddenly couldn’t get to the set, and so on.
Also, my father was not with me, he was in prison. I had to live with my mother and overcome the difficulties together.
Thanks for sharing that. So, maybe next you can tell us a bit more about your work?
I am still a film student. I’m proud that I had a very bumpy road applying to film school because it made me face all the other setbacks when I thought everything could be solved.
I’m especially happy that I persevered because I’m making films now. Although they are all immature, at least I am doing it and I feel very satisfied and grateful.
As an international student from China, I have an Eastern cultural heritage, but I’m also trying to combine it with the Western culture of America that I learned. I think this is the cornerstone of the films I want to make in the future.
Can you talk to us about how you think about risk?
The biggest risk I’ve ever taken was to completely abandon my previous major to study and work in a completely new field. I don’t think there’s anything scary about taking risks. For me, life is about the constant experience. And taking risks is a way to keep experiencing. Without risk-taking, life would be uninteresting and unchanging.
What I think is scary is the fact that there are people who don’t know why they want to take risks and the hesitant attitude of some people about whether to take risks or not. For me, if I assume I already have the idea of taking a risk, I should not hesitate to do it.
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Xinhao Lu
