Today we’d like to introduce you to Stevon Lewis.
Stevon, please share your story with us. How did you get to where you are today?
I was born and raised in South Central LA. As a kid, I was part of the CHOICES program which allowed inner-city kids to attend schools outside of their area. My mom sent me to Wonderland Avenue Gifted Magnet in the Hollywood hills. It was a bit of culture shock for sure; I mean I’m a kid from the hood, and some of these guys’ parents were producers for Beverly Hills 90210, the original iteration.
I can remember back as young as 5th grade always being interested in why people did the things they did. A vivid memory I have, is of a kid who was new to Wonderland. He was a Black kid, which there weren’t many of us there, and he was getting into trouble, like being brought to school by the police trouble. This wasn’t something that was common for students at Wonderland.
I was always curious about how he ended up at our school because he definitely didn’t fit in. One day he rode my bus home, not sure why, but he was picked up by an older White woman, old enough to be his grandmother. I figured he must have been in foster care or something and that his situation probably had something to do with his behavior.
My fascination with people never left. I’ve always had an ability to connect with people on an emotionally intimate level and remember being the guy that talked my friends down when they were upset, facilitated “mediation” between friends, or redirected negative behavior. It was a natural progression for me to end up as a psychotherapist. I would be talking to people and connecting with people even if I weren’t a therapist.
After high school I took some time off from school, a year, to process as best I could, the death of my father. I took some classes at Santa Monica Community College and eventually transferred to CSU, Fullerton. I got two Bachelor’s of Arts degrees, one in Psychology and the other in Afro-Ethnic Studies. After undergrad, I worked in group homes and non-public schools before enrolling in my Master’s program at CSU, Long Beach.
I graduated with a Master’s of Science in Counseling, with an emphasis in Marriage and Family Therapy. My first job as a Trainee was at a community mental health agency in South Central LA working with the families of kids involved in the juvenile justice system. I stayed at that agency for seven years working my way up to Program Manager.
At the same time, I got licensed and began my private practice in Torrance. Now, I am the Director of Counseling Services at Woodbury University, a small private college in Burbank, and have my private practice where I see individuals struggling with Impostor Syndrome and couples that aren’t married or have only been married a short time (less than a year).
In addition, I have been active in the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT), the Long Beach-South Bay chapter, and am a Past President.
Great, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
Getting to where I am has not been a smooth road. I have not had much direction in my life in regards to someone that looked like me. A lot of my success has been the result of me saying yes to most things that come my way. Early on in my career, I had a supervisor that told me to say yes to everything, and if you don’t like it, you don’t have to do it ever again.
That approach has been very beneficial for me. But no, my road hasn’t been smooth. I took a year off after high school, and then another two years between undergrad and grad school. Grad school took a year longer than it should have because I didn’t know what I was doing in terms of picking classes so I didn’t stay with my cohort etc.
I think the biggest issue for me was not having a Black male therapist that I could reach out to that could mentor me a bit along this journey. I have found some very good Black female therapists that have been instrumental in my growth and development as a therapist. It would have been nice to have a Black male too.
We’d love to hear more about what you do.
When I decided to become a therapist I wanted to work with couples. I have recently undergone a rebrand and have narrowed the scope of my work with couples and to begin focusing on working with individuals struggling with Impostor Syndrome.
Impostor Phenomenon is a term coined by Dr. Pauline Clance and is more commonly known as Impostor Syndrome. Individuals that suffer from Impostor Syndrome are usually high achievers in some facet of their life, whether it be a career, in education, or in the arts. What I have found in working with individuals that struggle with impostorism is that that they don’t come to therapy indicating feeling like an impostor as their primary presenting problem. Most often they’ll express feelings of not living to their full potential or report a history of self-sabotaging their success.
While Impostor Syndrome isn’t in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders Fifth Edition (DSM-5), the symptoms usually develop into depression or anxiety, disorders that are diagnosable. In peeling back the layers I’ve found some glaring commonalities:
- They had a parent(s) that was very critical of them; frequently pointing out where they needed improvement.
- Their parent(s) did not equally provide praise of their accomplishments or achievements, and often dismissed those accolades as routine or required.
- They are often the product of a childhood environment that was dysfunctional, in which they seem to be the only person from their immediate family to have experienced the overall success they have achieved.
- Expressions of love were infrequent or nonexistent.
- As adults, they seem to be the “only one” in the room, as in the only person of color or only woman.
Due to these experiences they have developed a high level of self-doubt, are dismissive of their own abilities, are overly critical of themselves, neglectful of their needs, and fearful of future failure. For example, someone struggling with Impostor Syndrome might receive an award and say, “Oh, almost everyone got one,” or after getting an ‘A’ in a class, they might respond, “That class was easy!”
Other times they may be plagued with the intense fear that they are going to “screw things up” as a result of getting a promotion, becoming a parent, approaching marriage, or some other potential increase in responsibility. Therapy is focused on teaching them how to rewrite the negative narrative they have adopted about themselves. The goal is to allow them to connect with the reality of their abilities and accomplishments so that they can experience life impostor free.
Now, I specifically work with couples for premarital counseling or couples that have been married a year or less. The rationale is this, after years of working with couples I have come to the conclusion that I have a much better chance of having significant positive impact if I reach them earlier. Traditionally, couples don’t come into therapy at the first sign of difficulty. Instead, they wait until the choice is therapy or divorce.
As a result, I often feel like I am working from a deficit, and after years of relationship dysfunction that has led to a high level of resentment, it can be difficult, almost impossible, to undo and reduce that resentment. However, for couples married longer than a year I plan on doing workshops that focus on communication and teach real skills to assist with connecting emotionally.
Do you look back particularly fondly on any memories from childhood?
My favorite memory from childhood was hanging out with my best friend playing video games and basketball throughout the summer. I practically lived at his house in the summertime. We have so many fun memories from then that we still talk about today.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.StevonLewis.com
- Email: StevonLewisMFT@gmail.com
- Instagram: @StevonLewisMFT
- Facebook: @StevonLewisLMFT
- Twitter: @StevonLewisMFT
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