Today we’d like to introduce you to Natasha Marie.
Thanks for sharing your story with us Natasha. So, let’s start at the beginning and we can move on from there.
My story is the story of every artist struggling to be recognized in the modern world that values productivity and commerce over creativity. I identify as an artist and storyteller. The written word has always resonated with me the most. However, I never thought I could make a lucrative (lucrative being the operative word here) career from writing. I grew up poor and poverty informed my decisions about pursuing art as a career. I listened to my well-intentioned family and friends discouraging any artistic venture because it wasn’t considered stable.
I have spent most of my adult life stifling any creativity in lieu of making ‘responsible’ decisions. I have also spent most of my adult life inundated with the sentiment best described by the French as – ‘ennui.’ But misery is a powerful motivator for change.
Shibari Barbie was born from an impulsive creative decision made at the opportune time. Ironically, that time was a week before Safer at Home was first enacted for Los Angeles County residents. Creativity flourishes under unlimited time and space. As a writer, I struggled not only with time, but with finding the channels that resonated with my voice and vision.
Traditional avenues toward writing careers have always felt antiquated and limiting. Academic institutions want you to specialize or emulate contemporary writers to reflect inflated retention and publication rates. They demand conformity, which compromises creativity integrity. I felt stagnant. I lacked insight on how to organize what was in my head into a cohesive vision. I wondered if I had anything of value to add to the global conversation.
Retrospectively, it feels manic how it all came into fruition. I booked a shibari (rope bondage) photoshoot, my first professional photoshoot, and my first modeling enterprise, which I had never imagined myself doing. The photoshoot was a serendipitous opportunity. The experience was so empowering and fulfilling it inspired a landslide of creativity. On the same day, I conceptualized, designed, wrote my first article, and launched Shibari Barbie.
The pandemic has been devastating to many, myself included; however, tragedies often come accompanied with silver linings. The mandated isolation afforded me the time and opportunity to galvanize on an impulse – creating the concept known as Shibari Barbie.
The shibari photoshoot was an illuminating moment. It was a reminder that I am first and foremost a creator; the written word is my chosen medium, but why should I be confined to that? The only thing that should bind me, save for rope, is the message I am advocating – not the medium or means by which that is achieved. Of the many social imperatives that resonate with me, the concept of Shibari Barbie has allowed me to realize all of them simultaneously without compromising my creative integrity.
Shibari Barbie has opened up opportunities to achieve my goals with complete fluidity and freedom. Art is fluid and adaptive; once I embraced that – the cohesion followed suit. Shibari Barbie is ever-evolving. Stay tuned to see the next iteration.
Has it been a smooth road?
When you challenge the status quo, the status quo challenges back. Real systemic change never comes quietly.
It doesn’t matter what I am writing about; the fact that I am a woman writing opens me up to criticism that I wouldn’t be subjected to if I were a man. As a woman addressing sex and the realm of sexuality, gender disparity becomes glaringly evident.
The obstacles I face are the same obstacles that most women face, only exacerbated because I am shining a spotlight on them – misogyny, censorship, objectification, sexual harassment, gender inequality, to name a few.
My approach might seem radical to some, but polarization is what shifts cultural currents. Boundary pushers are seen as the zealots of their time. This interview is timely with the death of Ruth Bader Ginsberg, the advocate for gender equality. It serves as a litmus to just how far we’ve come in society, but a cogent reminder that we are far from finished. Up to her death, Ruth was subjected to the same harassment she encountered in her youth, only less because of the cultural changes reflected in the law, thank you, Ruth. What keeps me optimistic is the fact that the majority of people are willing to sit down and have a civil conversation, or at the very least, bend their ear to a different perspective. It is the minority who continue to perpetuate an antiquated, ignorant narrative. You have to keep things in perspective.
Censorship has been one of the most infuriating obstacles to deal with as a sex-positive alternative lifestyle writer on multiple layers. Algorithms on social media and websites automatically flag the word ‘sex’ and categorize me as a bot or violating guidelines. I constantly have posts removed and flagged for ‘guideline violations,’ which are debatable and riddled with double standards. Many promotional opportunities available to other businesses on platforms like Facebook and Instagram are not available to companies that promote anything deemed ‘sexual’.
Not all censorship is at the hands of automation. Many reputable literary journals or magazines still shy away from publishing anything too risque. Who are these guidelines and ‘decency’ clauses intended to protect and benefit? Are they accomplishing their goals? Or are they perpetuating a counterproductive narrative that causes division?
When censorship clauses categorize sex and body-positive expression as antagonistic, it creates unhealthy compartmentalization. Censorship stops the conversation. Without conversation, change is impossible.
We’d love to hear more about your work and what you are currently focused on. What else should we know?
Shibari Barbie is a sex-positive writer defying shame and stigma surrounding sexuality and sexual expression. By opening a dialogue around subversive practices like BDSM, kink, and the intersectionality of pleasure and pain, I am challenging limiting and anachronistic beliefs regarding erotic intelligence. I support making education regarding non-mainstream forms of sexual expression accessible to everyone. I am in the business of empowerment and advocating for social change by creating a safe space to have these conversations.
Many sex-positive bloggers and kinksters are writing about the same issues. I offer a hybrid philosophical and artistic perspective regarding matters of sex positivity and alternative lifestyles. I believe kink is intrinsically linked to our personal psychology. Each person’s experience is telling of their history, trauma, desires, and fears. Participation in alternative expressions leads to different iterations of catharsis. Kink can be a form of therapy, a conduit for some to channel trauma and heal. If we can learn to embrace the taboos we are taught to suppress, it can yield incredible introspective results. I question why we should repress certain behavioral propensities simply because they are deemed “unconventional” or “taboo” when the definition of ‘conventional’ is continually shifting with cultural currents.
Kink intersects with social imperatives that deserve attention and reformation like gender inequality and censorship. My creative endeavors address double standards, censorship, and the ever-enduring ‘male gaze’ that women in society must contend with.
I am a staunch proponent of body positivity. Through collaborations with like-minded photographers and artists, we create ‘visual poetry.’ This visual poetry is a provocative exploration regarding the autonomy of a woman’s body and her right to expression. Being the vehicle that gives women the confidence to reclaim their autonomy is an honor, and through this work, I have humbly reclaimed my own.
Most sex-positive bloggers use visual mediums as their primary medium of connectivity. I chose the written word. I maintain that the written word is still one of the most powerful mediums. While I do incorporate visuals, I don’t rely on them exclusively. Words hold so much power and influence. Call me a hopeful romantic, but I’m the dinosaur that is dismantling systemic taboos one word at a time.
Who else deserves credit – have you had mentors, supporters, cheerleaders, advocates, clients or teammates that have played a big role in your success or the success of the business? If so – who are they and what role did they plan / how did they help.
I’ve been very fortunate to have a few cheerleaders in my corner throughout the trajectory of my burgeoning career.
One of my oldest, dearest friends, Vanessa Cittadino, a talented artist herself, has always believed in me even when I didn’t. From childhood into adulthood, our unique artistic journeys have evolved synchronically. I wouldn’t be the writer I am today without her influence.
My ever-optimistic friend, Nafeesa Islam, aggressively inspired me to take the initiative and start my journey despite my reservations.
Ryan Habermeyer, a writer whose brilliant anthology, The Science of Lost Futures, fell on my desk during my time at a publishing house. Despite my efforts to push it through to publication that year, the company refused. They graciously ‘allowed’ me to write his rejection letter. When Ryan’s anthology was finally published, he sent me a copy. Over the years, Ryan has become my friend and mentor (the latter perhaps unbeknownst to him). He gave me the most valuable lesson any writer could receive: be true to your vision. I have a visceral and esoteric voice. I have been told by academic institutions and pre-established infrastructures that my voice is not publishable. The pressure to conform to ‘make it’ has been the most substantial challenge I’ve faced as a writer. Ryan helped me develop the confidence to own my voice and the courage to believe in my vision regardless of what any person with a fancy title says. Check him out – https://ryanhabermeyer.com/.
My clandestine professional power couple, you know who you are, to whom I owe much of my success. Over the last decade, you have both witnessed the layers peel back and nurtured them without agenda. Regardless of the endeavor, you have supported me unconditionally. I have never had to adulterate who I am. With all my imperfections and poorly timed jokes, to be accepted is the greatest gift one can bestow to another human. The English lexicon fails me in finding the words to express my love and adoration for you both. I am proud and honored to be your proverbial unicorn. 😉
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.shibaribarbie.com/
- Email: [email protected]
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shibari__barbie/
Image Credit:
Alexander Oleynikov, Matt Sklar, Mark Dektor, Tom Martinez Jr., Eric Callari
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