Meet Monica Reyes of Masculine de La FEMME in East Los Angeles

Today we’d like to introduce you to Monica Reyes.

Monica, can you briefly walk us through your story – how you started and how you got to where you are today.
I believe life gives us the tools to prepare ourselves to do the work that is uniquely intended for each of us. Although life does not wait for us to find happiness in order to find meaning and purpose, it teaches us patience, resilience, and compassion for the self and for others. It teaches us to honor the steps and respect the process. It’s hard to answer how I got to the place I am now. But I suppose it took resilience and parenting my awkward inner child into a world that seems overwhelming. I am not quite sure where I am right now. I just know that I am here. Learning to be yourself, full-time is hard work.

My family and I moved around alot. I grew up in a military family. Divorced parents. Mixed education between independent studies, private schools, and public schools. Had a difficult time getting myself accustomed to the school system and curriculum. I went to college for studio & fine arts, but couldn’t restrain myself to live at home any longer. I jumped on a train to Los Angeles and never looked back. I was 19 at the time, had little to no money, worked odd jobs and started my career in every corner and position of the fashion industry a couple of years later for the next 10 + years. My career in fashion was the tornado that swept me up and left me no room to breathe to truly and fully explore who I really am. Sure, travel was a perk. Meeting new people was another one, but I’ve always felt out of place, disliked gossip, trends, and pop-culture. Beautiful humans with large dark voids to fill. I didn’t grow up with television, so it never made any sense to me that everyone cared about who was wearing what. I arrived here by accident. I respected the process and honored the steps, was competitive, and rose up quickly in high-level positions. I was loyal to a fault, for one, one of boss’s I worked with, whom I thought was a good friend of mine had a terrible cocaine habit and owed me $20,000 in commissions. I wasn’t the only one he’d screw over, and eventually his business closed down. Last I heard he was in jail or deported to France. I worked other jobs as a brand rep and eventually started working in-house for other companies. Long hours, lots of travel, very little sleep, no time for relationships, and I was constantly at the mercy of my boss’s unpredictable mood swings and inappropriate comments and angry outbursts.

At one point, I was told I was too creative for the job, even though It was the very reason why I was still there. It confused me, and I became incredibly depressed because I didn’t know or even want to know a life outside of being creative. It was one of those jobs when you’d be out on runs and see people eating lunch outdoors and think “Don’t you guys have to work?” but really, that came from a place of envy, and the ones enjoying their lunch looked so happy, as though they figured out how to make up their life any way they wanted. I’d bopped around as a free-lancer and would just launch myself back into the railings of a job security. Sure, it’s important, bills ’n money. I’ve always been pretty responsible as best I could, doing this shit on my own. But it wasn’t until I learned I wasn’t living at all. I enjoyed working with friends when I got to, and although I am grateful for the experience and it helped me get to where I am today —it wasn’t an easy road. The jobs I had were meaningful for me at the time. I latched onto them because I trying to find my own identity in them. I owned my positions and worked relentlessly. But deep, deep down inside, I knew I was meant for something bigger. Beyond my own self-importance —- I was meant to contribute to what skills I had for a greater good.

I woke up one morning in the spring of 2018, I’m now in my early 30’s, and told myself I needed to travel and get the f*ck out and explore the true possibilities of what life had in store for me and to cut off anything, I mean anything that would try or attempt to hold me back. I took a solo road trip to Yucca Mesa, took a detour through Angeles Crest Hwy and onto Old Willow Road. I watched the skies turn from deep blues to corals to swirls of pink. The clouds made an incredible shape I have never seen before, like some ridiculous colorful portal or tornado, I nearly crashed my car into a ditch from looking at the sky instead of the dirt road. And staying in a quiet cabin tucked away in the hills. For many years, the desert had been a tranquil place for me to escape. The long drives, the sun setting, the moon, and the stars dancing, the vast surround silence of nothingness, and simultaneous emptiness and wholeness. The desert was where could I find God’s smile. I had a real emotional time during that trip. Late that night on the porch, looking out at the night sky and tracing the shapes of the clouds, I had a conversation with my late brother who seemed to speak to me with smiling eyes, and possibly was imagining a grey-haired ancestor in her rocking chair (of course…right?). She looked as though she lived a thousand lifetimes, and all were fully and well-lived. I asked her “How. Did you do it? What do I need to know?!” desperate for an answer, she smiled and told me softly “Live your life with no regrets.” and then she proceeded to tell me that I didn’t come this far for nothing. I was told to travel east, where I will find my true purpose. I had no idea what she meant, but I cried great tears of joy and I could not stop sobbing. It was just me, the starry night sky, and the desert. I knew I wasn’t imagining it. But I always knew, this would’ve sounded crazy if I told anyone this.

I worked arduously in-house and freelancing wherever I could, kept a goal in mind, saved up my money and quit that year in the Fall. Although I was on my way to hitting my target goal, I was met with possibly my first wave of depression and that spring and summer of 2018 was weirdly the toughest. I had lost my passion for creativity and became so myopic, that at times I forgot what or why I was working so hard. I started to slow down and sometimes spent too much time doing nothing at all.

I went on a cross country road trip with my partner, Tennessee to Arizona, it was clunky and we comically nearly broke up with each other in a tiny Tom Cruise themed sandwich shop in Memphis, TN. If you’ve never had an argument while whispering, try watching Godzilla dubbed in angry whispers. Our bond was reminded of what we really care about and how close we are to one another from visiting the National Civil Rights Museum at the Lorraine Motel. We stayed in all sorts of random motels. I was obsessed with the Best Western, because, Joan Didion stayed in Best Westerns. Found abandoned Dinosaur amusement parks, the roads are filled with billboard ads about Indian Reservations– while also learning about the origins about this country, tons of religious contexts, a giant cross with life-sized statues of Jesus Christ’s crucifixion, saw the Grand Canyon and it was overwhelming trying to take in all the beauty of her sunset, searched for vortexes in Sedona, AZ,…I mean that trip was kind of insane, exhausting, exhilarating, exciting, and eye-opening. That trip taught me a lot about life’s changing scenery. Not one place or landscape ever stays the same when you’re moving. And sometimes it’s important to pull over on Life’s side roads and take in all the stillness and peace. Nature is so inspiring and self-affirming. We as humans just fill it up with our garbage.

During that period, photography became a creative outlet and taking trips wherever I could escape. I went to Portland, OR to see if this was a new city that I could wife-up, and suddenly realized that the thing I was running away from was — myself. My life was noisy because my heart was confused. Shortly after that trip, a wonderful group of friends and I drove up to Paso Robles, Ca for a friends wedding. I had an amazing and revelatory time. I soon noticed that everyone I knew at this wedding is either an artist, small business owner, book shop owner, publisher, photographer, designer…etc….regardless of what they did for a living, the thing that stood out to me the most was that they were doing what made them happy. The struggle is the same, money is a creepy shadow, but the difference is that it’s a struggle worth fighting for when you work for yourself and do the work that’s meaningful to you. It inspired me to quit my day-job and be a full-time freelancer. The next day, during our drive back to Los Angeles, I composed a resignation letter, effective, immediately. I met my goal and quit my full-time and started on the path of creative independence.

I was shown a lot of encouragement and support from friends and clients with my decision and immediately worked as a full-time freelance creative & art director, wardrobe stylist, and photographer bought a one way ticket to the Philippines with the plan to travel solo (partially) throughout South East Asia. I hadn’t spent much time planning for the trip, but I found inner peace in the Philippines and Thailand for two months, and reconnected with my family in the Philippines, my roots, my Dad, saw the first house I once lived in on Subic Bay that was once buried in volcanic ashes, from Mt Pinatubo’s catastrophic volcanic eruption in ’91. My heart opened wide. Every emotion and feeling I’ve suppressed and tucked away came washing over me and I let the tears rain down like the final chapter of a phase I was ready to release. I was ready to begin my life by changing the formula. I learned that ambition without a true and genuine cause or knowing oneself is a black hole that sucks the beauty and truth from the meaning of life….and it was then when I truly, and fully, found myself. I couldn’t wait to see the world with new eyes. Everything changed for me. Everything. I embraced myself as the artist I always was. It was like I was re-born and I couldn’t get enough of the freedom to explore after having met interesting folks whose livelihood is based on simplicity, gratitude, agriculture, and livestock, or anything other than vanity or status. My heritage and family’s history had unfolded before my eyes.

I’ve discovered that photography and my love for curiosity became the vehicle which allows me to truly connect with other humans, places, landscapes, nature, things, or history in a very personal and intimate way. The fact that I get to meet and interview interesting people now, and share that inspiration with the world, is an absolute honor and blessing. I knew then, I wanted to share other peoples stories, not just mine. It is the strength of vulnerability that allows sacred synergy to show up in confidence.

Great, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
It was a struggle trying to fit myself in boxes made for other people. I’d always think something was probably wrong with me. Only until recently did I finally embrace myself for who I was becoming. Letting go of a somewhat steady career was very hard for me. Diving in and believing in myself was another. Being in a relationship with my partner during my many transitions was challenging. We’d fight and argue about the choices I’ve made on this path, and I’d look at myself in the mirror and tell myself “I believe in you.” It was enough power to fuel my undying passion to be a free-lance creative and work with clients I cared about. I’ve fallen on my face, so. many. many. many. times. Favors here. Favors there. Discounts here. Discounts there. Free work here. Free consultation there. Giving away advice, my TIME, labor, and resources all too freely. Partnering with some not so awesome people and doing all the leg work and getting stiffed in the end. I took note of everything that went right and the decisions that went wrong. Stopped working with people that weren’t ethical.

I listened to podcast after podcasts on how to work for yourself, took webinar classes, taught myself creative suite skills and practical skills like digital marketing. I had to teach myself about self-worth and value. Time is money. Building relationships with good-hearted people with the right goal in mind was priceless. Being a creative and having a good business sense and leadership mentality was an asset I knew I had. Stopped wasting my time with petty “business” coffee meetings and giving away my cards. Stopped saying yes to jobs that paid less than my value. Spoke up and stopped working for companies that showed red flags of inappropriate or abusive behavior, usually towards women in workplaces. None of this was easy, at all. I wasn’t easy on myself either. And I wasn’t an easy person to deal with when I saw injustice take place in front of me. I thought it was bullshit that good hardworking people would get taken advantage of and they would stay loyal, like me, until they were tossed aside for the next person to use. I wanted to give up on myself, but couldn’t put myself in another job that meant nothing to me and listen to owners of denim companies tell me “I want to be cool. Just make me look cool” while they were knocking off more well-known brands. Watching people call themselves designers and taking credit while knocking off a legitimate and talented designer that didn’t have the capital as they did. Watching employees get yelled at and berated for something as little as asking a question. But something internally pushed me to do better, be smarter, be stronger, and to not put up with anyone’s bullshit. I had to quit and apply for the position that was me.

Proving yourself to yourself is no easy task. We have to do things we don’t like to see what we’re capable of. We have to make sacrifices to do the things we love. But it’s not everything.

I was tired of being someone else. Tired of being what was expected of me. Tired of wondering and dreaming about who I could be someday. I had to take the risk and do it properly. It’s up to me to make my life any way I want to it be. Cruising is not an option.

This is just a part of the process of becoming who I was meant to be. A lot of really amazing things has happened this year. Things I never imagined would happen. Dreams came true and continue to come true. And I have to give credit to the Universe for conspiring to work with me on taking the dive. My life is just beginning.

Alright – so let’s talk business. Tell us about Masculine de La FEMME – what should we know?
I’m a multi-faceted creative. I’m always juggling around different projects.

I co-founded an online publication based on women empowerment and gender & equality fluidity, called Masculine de La Femme. It didn’t have much momentum going on, until 2016. I wanted to meet as many interesting and inspiring artists that I could. Highlighting and featuring any one person who is deeply passionate in moving towards what inspires them in the alignment of their true calling. This was also a reflection of my own personal journey, and curiosity motivated me. It was conceived with my partner Dan Monick, during the insane f**kery of the political climate and heightened social injustices, especially regarding gender roles and women’s health rights. It was a dark and scary time, and, well, it still is. Aesthetically, I have always had a poetic love for black and white film photography (Artist Portraitures, Helmet Newton, charcoal artist, Kathe Kollwitz, Patti Smith’s Horses album cover by Robert Mapplethorpe, and Andy Warhol polaroids and screen tests) but at the time, I didn’t own a camera myself and I had been developing my portfolio as a freelance creative/art director and wardrobe stylist. I’ve been lucky to have Dan because he’s an incredible and very talented portrait photographer whose style and vision is aligned with mine.

For MDLF, I find the artists, coordinate the shoots, art direct and wardrobe style, host the interviews, and publish each feature online. Dan shoots only in 35mm using various cameras. I am always on the lookout for analog photographers and female filmmakers to contribute their work for us to feature.

As a freelance creative art director, I specialize in building and shepherding creative marketing assets for brands. It typically starts off with a collaborative vision or a concept I have to come up with on my own. I’ll then hire out the team I need that will best execute the vision. The vibe, talent, and efficiency is everything. From photographers, videographers, models, hair and makeup artists, to production designers….they all play a key role in the making of something we can all be proud of. I work with all kinds of budgets, sometimes I don’t always get so lucky to have a full team, so I’ll pile on the roles to make the dream come to life. I sleep when the job is finished. I have a wide range of knowledge and experience in brand strategy, design, merchandising, producing and creating assets with photography, videos, lookbook design layouts, and graphic design. Sometimes leading distribution, marketing, and re-purposing assets through digital marketing, social media, and e-mail campaign strategies, and e-commerce merchandising. So I always have a pretty clear idea and plan as to why we are doing what we doing. Ultimately, the goal is to either help a brand monetize or gain the exposure they need in order to reach their target or desired a market or demographic. I’m a firm believer that if a brand succeeds, so do I. Every brand operates its business differently and unique, it’s important that I approach any partnership from a place of service vs from a place of need. I’ve found that a beneficial partnership takes place when we start from a place of integrity and patience first. Although there is hardly any time to waste, it’s important to me that we respect personal boundaries.

As a wardrobe stylist and costume designer, I am hired by designers, photographers, directors, and producers. It ranges from fashion campaigns & editorials, film, music videos, and commercials. I’m self-taught and have yet to assist another wardrobe stylist and am open to learning more efficient ways to do the job. But thus far, I have been single-handedly leading wardrobe styling since 2010, building and maintaining positive relationships with brands or designers, fashion pr showrooms, publicists, bands, or actors. I still have so much to learn and grow but have been so lucky and blessed by the support of creative people of whom I can call friends.

As of last year, I have taken on photography more seriously. I’ve been asked to shoot for different brands that I’ve been so stoked to even be a part of. It’s been so much fun and a total dream. I appreciate that they trust me and it’s been an honor to contribute an expression that harmonizes with my heart. I could sit here and talk negatively about Instagram, but it’s actually helped me! haha. I try to keep it dialed in with a creative expression like photojournalism, portrait photography, projects I’m working on, stories that might help give our world a positive shape, annnnnnddd I’ll do a good heavy sprinkle of some comedic skits that makes sense to only me.

I also collect and sell vintage or pieces that have been used for wardrobe styling or design references. I’ve recently stocked up on some hand-woven items from Thailand, I was going by Moon Tribe Vintage for a good while, and after my recent trip from Japan, I was inspired to change it to Current Child Vintage. It was fitting.

I don’t know what sets me apart from others. I just know I’m doing what I love and I keep my side of the street clean. I don’t compare myself with another person. I just stay as focused and positive as I can. Everyone’s version of what success looks like is different, and I don’t burden myself with what version is expected of me. I just do me.

Is there a characteristic or quality that you feel is essential to success?
Resilience. Resilience. Resilience. Not giving up on ourselves or our dreams. Surrounding myself with quality people who have good hearts and challenge me to be a better human being. Reading a lot of books. Learning to ask the right questions. Staying curious. Learning when to let go what isn’t serving me. Identifying my fears and face them head-on. Learning a new skill. Do something outside my comfort zone, and really, really do it. Allow myself to get lost and not beating myself up if the destination wasn’t what I expected. The journey of getting lost is sometimes the destination and relishing in what is being shown to me and what I need to be present for. BEING KIND AND HAVING EMPATHY. Identifying who my closest friends are, the ones who have some kind of influence on me, whether I see or speak with them often or if they live close to me or not. Spending time alone and doing some self-reflection, I try to keep at least one the busiest more social nights open for me to take stock on a quiet evening. When I was working for companies, I’d wake up early and give myself at least one hour of quiet time. Now, I do that no matter what time I wake up. Journaling is a wonderful wonderful tool. Connecting with the ones I love most. Reminding my family I’m alive and healthy and I love them. Join book clubs. Move towards what inspires you. CRY if you fucking have to. When life hands you lemons, you can choose to either cry about it or let it build up character. I’ve chosen both 🙂

Vulnerability is NOT a weakness. It’s okay to be real, genuine, and raw. In fact, this world needs it.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.moonreyes.com
• Email: [email protected]
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sheismoonreyes/
  https://www.instagram.com/delafemme/, https://www.instagram.com/currentchildvintage/
• Other: www.masculinedelafemme.com

Image Credit:
Dan Monick, Bridgett Diez, Monica Reyes

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