Today we’d like to introduce you to Theora Moench.
Hi Theora, thanks for sharing your story with us. To start, maybe you can tell our readers some of your backstory.
As Steve Jobs said in the commencement speech he gave at Stanford, “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards.” So now, looking back, I’m not surprised where I’ve ended up.
I had an unusual upbringing.
When I was a freshman in high school, I remember looking around at the parents of my friends and classmates and seeing people who were either miserably married or miserably divorced and I thought “Either there has got to be a better way to do this whole relationship thing or why the hell are we doing it?” I could feel that I wanted a happy partnership, but when I looked at the evidence around me, the data suggested that happy, loving partnerships were NOT the norm. I doubted whether they were even possible because I didn’t see any in my real life.
I read my first relational theory book when I was 17 because I remember feeling confused as to why girls and boys behaved so differently when they liked each other.
Which, if you think about it, is a really uncanny way for a 17-year-old to be thinking. From a very young age, I did not take what I saw at face value. I realize now that I’ve always had this tendency to examine and interrogate the way people relate to one another.
I used to ask every couple that would let me, what their origin story was. How did they meet? How did they know? Why did they think their relationship worked when so many fail?
I didn’t realize until later that I was doing field research and trying to answer the questions that a much younger me still found confusing.
Fast forward to my late 20s, and a couple of painfully-ended relationships and situationships later and I was at a Tony Robbins conference called Date with Destiny. At one point he was looking out over the crowd and said, “Everybody wants love, but almost everybody settles for connection.” And it felt like someone had sucker-punched me in the chest. This was exactly the phenomena I had observed in high school that didn’t make sense to me. I could feel that I wanted love, but I was surrounded by people who had settled for connection.
That conference in 2015 marked the professional beginning of my obsession with relationships. I began to find not only books that explained all of the dynamics and mechanisms at play in romance and intimacy, but I began to find teachers that specialized in everything from boundaries and healthy communication to erotic languages and sacred sexuality and I devoured every resource, book, experience, and teacher I could get my hands on.
I figured that if we had come up with effective strategies to create meaningful health, wealth, success, time management, company culture, etc… then why not for romance?
And I was right! There are constant and predictable things that can be found in thriving partnerships and the individuals who comprise them, and the absence of those things can predict the lack of health,inevitable misery, and demise of a relationship.
By this point, I was working as a business coach and I started guinea pigging everything I was learning on myself, my friends, my family, and my clients. I began to see EVERYONE’S relationships transforming for the better.
People falling in love with their husbands all over again.
People completely upgrading their dating pools and ultimately meeting the loves of their lives.
People healing relationships with their “difficult family members”.
People having their employees come into the office and say that they were the best boss they’d ever had and how much they’d appreciated the way they’d been showing up for the team over the last few months.
Everyone experienced improved relationships in every area of life – romantic, platonic, familial, and collegial.
Because the truth is relationships are both an art and a science.
They are not the mystery everyone thinks they are. They don’t happen by chance and they don’t fail by chance. And with a little bit of education, grace, and grit, people can experience the connection, intimacy, and love they’ve always wanted.
I liked helping people make money but I LOVED helping people create healthy, thriving, fulfilling relationships way more so in early 2019, I made the official transition to become a dating and relationship coach and I never looked back.
Since then, we’ve already celebrated:
4 Truly Chosen weddings
5 Truly Chosen engagements
3 Truly Chosen babies have already been born in 2021!
Several new family homes have been bought.
Dozens of women are in fulfilling romantic partnerships that are “better than they could have ever imagined”.
And countless others no longer see dating as a chore but as a romantic, exciting, and fun part of the journey.
If you’ve ever seen that Will Smith movie “Hitch”, that’s what I do! Except there isn’t any misleading or performing involved. It’s all incredibly sincere and real.
I help people find, create, and sustain the love they’ve always wanted and I absolutely love what I do.
Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
Not at all.
Entrepreneurship did NOT come to me easily. I grew up surrounded by artists, scientists, hippies, and academics… And being an entrepreneur is a whole different beast.
It’s been a rollercoaster with seasons of triumph and chapters of consuming doubt since each entrepreneurial skill has had to be learned and earned.
And while I’ve never wavered in my passion to teach relational intelligence and fulfilling intimacy, even now I am going through some soul searching about the inner workings of my company.
I’m also keenly aware that entrepreneurship is characterized by uncertainty, and the willingness to risk and fail. There are no guarantees of “success” and each new level of business presents a new array of complexities and lessons. It’s been rewarding and exhausting but I genuinely enjoy getting to fine-tune my approach to business.
Alright, so you’ve shared a bit already, but let’s talk a bit more about business. What else should we know?
My specialty is teaching dating and relationships in unconventional, interesting, and soulfully fulfilling ways that actually work to help people create the intimacy and romantic partnerships that they truly want.
Most people date in a really haphazard, “going through the motions” kind of way because that is what has been modeled for them. Unfortunately, it’s a VERY unreliable approach to actually creating healthy, passionate, lasting relationships. In fact, the way that most people approach their love life is primarily designed for disaster.
This isn’t on purpose of course. People are just operating with what they absorbed from their families of origin, the media they’ve consumed (don’t even get me started on how bananas rom-coms are for our psychology around love), and trying to avoid repeating relational traumas that deeply hurt us.
The truth is there is an art and science to creating the love we want, just most people haven’t been given the information and support they need to make it happen.
That’s where I come in.
And that’s why I started Truly Chosen.
At Truly Chosen, we do not believe that extraordinary love and partnership are reserved for the lucky few. We believe that anyone is capable of creating an extraordinary love story if they are willing to do the brave work of defying the status quo to do things differently to create what they truly want.
We attract a lot of rebellious, self-made, innovative clients because of this. They resonate with our ethos that anything is possible with the right resources and support to operate outside the box.
We believe that people are here on the planet to love deeply and fully and be loved in return just as deeply and fully.
We also think that most people are simply lacking in exposure and education about how to make that happen and so that is our aim. To equip these multi-dimensional people craving multi-dimensional love with a multi-dimensional approach that actually works.
Truly Chosen is an international dating and relationship consulting agency that works with growth-oriented, high-performing individuals like executives, entrepreneurs, professional leaders, and public figures who have built extraordinary success in their personal and professional lives but have NOT been able to create the same kind of fulfillment in their love lives.
For our single clients, we help them find and attract the right partner so that they can at last enjoy sharing their life with a remarkable person who is just excited about it as they are.
For our partnered clients, we support them to cultivate healthy, fulfilling, lasting intimacy where they get to reignite the spark and fall in love over and over again.
The way we deliver our work is through luxurious, intimate, high-level events, programs, and private experiences.
Who else deserves credit in your story?
There are SO many people that have been part of my journey.
In fact, I think the myth and fetishization of the self-made, lone wolf that eats ramen, powers through sleepless nights working themselves to the bone, weathering the exhaustion and misery alone until they finally catch their break is one of the most harmful stories we recycle in the entrepreneurial community.
Trying to “go it alone” as an entrepreneur is so much harder and WAY less fun than seeking out exceptional support that helps you go further, faster, while having way more fun.
I can’t think of a single highly successful entrepreneur that I know who didn’t surround themselves with a support system – mentors, cheerleaders, other weirdos like them who take big risks and think outside the box…
I have the most amazing support team in both my business and my personal life.
I have also invested in studying with and being trained by the world’s leading experts on excellence and intimacy. People like Tony Robbins, David Deida, John Wineland, Londin Angel Winters, Justin Patrick Pierce, and Alison Armstrong to name a few. I joke around that with the time and money I’ve invested, I probably have the equivalent of a PHD in my field by now!
I am never not learning. This is the work I am unwaveringly inspired to do. I never tire of learning more about how humans relate to one another and cracking the code on intimacy is a never ending gift of discovery!
Contact Info:
- Email: theora@trulychosen.com
- Website: www.trulychosen.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/trulychosen.co/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/trulychosen.co
Image Credits:
Ania Volovique (for photos of me in white) Linzy Slusher (dark photo of me on the blue couch)
