Today we’d like to introduce you to Mary Lou Sandler.
Hi Mary Lou, thanks for joining us today. We’d love for you to start by introducing yourself.
When I was 4 or 5 years old my father, Joseph C. Evans would hire a photographer to take my photos so that I would stay out his way while he painted. That planted the entertainment bug in me and I grew up to become a working actress, dancer, video game stuntwoman, fitness competitor & cover model (I quit acting in 2005… so I thought.). I also have had a camera in my hand since I was little. My friend Calle, who I’ve known since I was 4 years old, was my first model when I was around seven years old.
I am now a professional photographer/cinematographer/producer/director and I own 3 cubed studios LLC (2016 Outstanding Small Business of the Year by the United Chambers of Commerce) with my husband, Justin Sandler (2x TEDx speaker/director/actor/drummer/writer). Our award-winning film, “Welcome to Where You’ve Always Been” (cinematographer/co-director/producer) appeared in 21 festivals, won 5 awards (including Best Short and the 2018 IIFC Inspirational Filmmaker Award), and is now available on Shorts TV (cable/satellite) and Amazon Prime USA & UK.
After completing our festival tour and distribution deals, my husband was suddenly and unexpectedly diagnosed with an aggressive cancer. We had to shut everything down for a while. However, I am grateful to share that Justin was declared cancer-free in 2018. We had just got our life and business back to full running again after healing from our cancer journey when the pandemic hit. And we are now happy to say that our business is in full swing again and very busy with our solo show theatre performer clients (poster graphic design/filming) and our corporate clients (photography/filming) including some of the largest companies in the world.
My focus is to inspire others through my work as a filmmaker and writer. One of my upcoming projects is: writing/directing/producing my first feature documentary film “Caregiving Cancer: The Silent Heroes” (caregivingcancer.org). After caring for my husband through his cancer, I firsthand saw the need for an informative film such as this. The next step is financing and putting together our filmmaking team in 2023. (You can donate to the film tax-free thru our fiscal sponsor via the link).
I am also writing a book based on my life and overcoming obstacles as a survivor of childhood and adulthood emotional, physical, and sexual abuse. In writing this book, I am going on a journey that I must have patience with and do so with grace. This will stir up suppressed memories and will require the full use of the tools I now have from many mentors.
My commitment to empower women inspired me to establish FemaleFilmmakers.org (a female filmmaker group to “Empower and Employ Each Other”).
I also very recently put my acting hat back on with 2 national commercial auditions (with one callback) and a legend of a TV show audition within my first week back to acting. I always want to remember how good it felt during my last callback to come back into the audition room and play! Returning back to my passion to be in front of the lens as well has given me a newfound confidence that I will carry with me forever. This time, I came back not “needing” a role because I am very successful in my business and so it gives me the freedom to just PLAY, not like the days of old when I felt like I needed the job so badly. Shifting my focus over the years has been an unforeseen gift that I am reveling in right now. I am very grateful.
Reference Websites:
www.3cubedstudios.com
www.caregivingcancer.org
www.femalefilmmakers.org
Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way. Looking back would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
The road to happiness and success in my eyes has been a journey of going inward and healing the parts within myself that blocked my happiness and success and kept me from moving forward. This has not been an easy journey. It’s actually been the hardest thing I’ve ever done and it’s taken over 10 years to get to a point where I am feeling completely confident and mentally healthy where I could do absolutely anything without a doubt. I started by doing more things for ME like emotional healing retreats, working with life coaches and gurus, and making my own self-care a priority. We also joined what I like to call a monthly weekend couple’s camp (Eden World) in 2021 where we work with coaches along with other couples every month to deepen our love and connection in all relationships as well as work on our sovereign self-work. It’s taken a while for me to get into this groove of ME FIRST, however, with the tools that I have now, I have learned how important life is rather than what my work is. I now work less and get paid more, which helps me to create more care for myself and the community around me as well as continue to LOVE what I do and being creative without burnout.
Having a work/life balance has led me to my other passions which is bringing people together. Therefore, our house and studio is always buzzing with things like Buddhist meetings, women’s circles, men’s circles, Shabbat dinners, and our free monthly acting class that we’ve been hosting every month for over 9+ years (Actors Helping Actors) to give back to the acting community. And I do all of this while continuing to be the principal photographer and cinematographer for our photo/film studio, 3 cubed studios, LLC. This all has made me one happy camper. Speaking of camper! I bought my lifelong dream of owning a van/rv in 2022 too!
If not, what were some of the struggles along the way? Was it easy?
My answer to that question is… if it’s easy, is it worth it? When we start new things we learn by failing forward. I can tell you this… if you keep moving forward it does get EASIER! And most importantly when working on yourself or your career… when you start feeling that urge to RUN and you know that you’re not actually in physical or mental danger… THAT is when you dig your heels in even more and you push through what feels like an edge and move past that which you feared was impossible!
I can say the last year of 2022 really tested me with how much I have really grown over the years and how much I can endure. I required two knee ACL replacement surgeries (right then left) this last year with the last one on 12/20/22. I have been and continue to be on the road to rebuilding my physical body and I am super excited for what’s to come! I already have a list of goals for 2023! (see photo)
How did you overcome the challenges?
I used the knowledge that I’ve been using since birth which is… Everything always works out. I’m still living and breathing and therefore I can try again… or try something different… and how epically exciting is that?! As one of my mentors, Patty always says… “Life is a surprise party!” and I live for the surprises!
Also, due to my grandmother making me do mind-numbing puzzles growing up, my brain loves puzzles! So when obstacles arise, I get excited about seeing all of the different ways on how I can go around the obstacle, I observe my reactions, know that whatever emotion I am feeling is there to protect me, and then ask myself how I can overcome the obstacle.
We’d love to hear what sets you apart from others?
What sets me apart from others is my experience on both sides of the lens. This experience has given me an opportunity to capture people from a totally different perspective. I do a wide range of photography and cinematography, however, my favorites are one-on-one portrait photography as well as video interviews. And because I spent most of my life in front of the lens, when I decided to go behind it, I knew exactly what my subjects were experiencing. This may include the excitement of being on camera and performing as well as experiencing fear and insecurity. From a technical aspect, I know how to bring out the best angles and composition. From a personal aspect, I know how to connect with my subjects and put them at ease so their authentic self can shine through. Furthermore, I love creating a safe space that leads to a great final product and an enjoyable experience.
With all of the work I’ve done on myself over the years, I feel I am that much more qualified to help others. And often, my photo sessions go beyond just clicking the shutter. I don’t just do a “shoot,” I create an experience. And the way in which I capture my subjects is where I don’t just take a photo of them, I feel a photo of them. My number one favorite thing in life is to connect with others on a deep level, peek past all of the walls and the things that we try to hide and to go deeper and really see someone so that others can really see them too. Many of us spend most of our lives trying to hide how we really feel and what we really want to say. I really want to bring that out in my photos whether it’s joy, sadness, anger, rage, pure love, or sensuality. I want to see it. I want to feel it. And YOU is what I want to capture. I truly want to see you, the real you and have others see you too. I work with my clients to get them there. I also really like to tussle up my clients for that not so perfect look just for our own pleasure. I usually suggest this if it’s feeling right at the end of our shoots as a bonus.
What are you most proud of?
I would say what I am most proud of professionally is the book I published called “The Beard Book” (thebeardbook.org). I have always had this talent of seeing popularity before it happens, whether it’s trends in style or real estate. I saw the beard craze coming a few years before it hit and so I photographed over 100 men, their beards, and their stories and published a book to benefit breast and testicular cancer… “Beards for Boobs and Beards for Balls.” It took almost 3 years to shoot, write, design and publish that book and it tested me on every level. I must’ve had the right idea because other books came out during my process and were more famous than mine, which at the time felt like I was being stung by a gigantic bee and almost made me quit, but I kept going and I finished it. Still, as far as I know I am still the only woman–and woman of color–that published this type of book and that is also something to be proud of. And I wouldn’t have been able to do any of it without help from my husband Justin Sandler (text & editing) and my forever friend Tasso (design and layout). I met so many lovely people, learned a lot about the beard competition community (which I never knew about before), and photographed most of the men in the book backstage at competitions. It also taught me the most valued lesson of all… Do this for you. Do this for the passion of the idea and for the experience. Enjoy the ride, relish in the pride of accomplishing your goal, and really take a moment to feel deep into that feeling before you move onto your next project. Take a pause and feel… “I DID THAT!”
I am also proud of the fact that I am the founder and creator of www.femalefilmmakers.org ”Together to Empower and Employ Each Other” est. 2016. We are a collaborative group of Female Filmmakers with a mission to mentor, hire, and support one another as well as to provide a safe space to share information with each other such as: grants, news, employment, etc. We are inclusive of Female Filmmakers in ALL POSITIONS of Film, TV and Media. To join our Facebook group to engage with fellow Female Filmmakers visit: www.facebook.com/groups/FemaleFilmmakers.org
As of now we are a large Facebook group community, however, I am looking for others to collaborate on this endeavor to go beyond an FB group so that we can help more women in the industry thrive where they have been often overlooked.
What are you most excited about?
After our first film went to 21 festivals and won 5 awards… my husband was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer and needed immediate treatment and multiple surgeries. During this time I was thrust into the caregiver role with no prior knowledge of how to do any of this as well as dealing with the shock, grief, anger, and all of the other emotions that come with caring for the one you love. This experience also taught me that resources are needed for caregivers as they are rarely talked about. This mission sparked my next film project (www.caregivingcancer.org). With over 1.9 million new cancer cases per year, friends and family assume the role of caregiver without any prior knowledge of how to do so. “Caregiving Cancer: The Silent Heroes” reveals the reality of cancer, provides valuable resources and gives a voice to the often-voiceless caregiver.
With each new cancer case, a loved one is often thrust into the role of a caregiver. Sometimes called informal caregivers, they are unpaid individuals (spouses, partners, family members, friends, or neighbors) involved in assisting others with activities of daily living and/or medical tasks. These caregivers suddenly find themselves in this role without any prior knowledge or training. They’re often overlooked and overworked, making sacrifices in their own lives and remaining silent — often leading to caregiver burnout — as they are suddenly caring for someone other than themselves. Sometimes, the patient survives. Other times, they do not. In either case, at some point, the caregiver’s duties are no longer needed. When this happens, the caregivers are frequently left dealing with the aftermath of guilt, sadness, anger, and grief — with no idea how to cope with those emotions. One of the hardest parts for both patient and caregiver is just returning to some kind of “normal” life.
Now cancer free and healed from our experience we were about to go into production when the world and our business had to shut down in early 2020 due to the pandemic. We are extremely excited to be able to start production again very soon, defying the odds once again to help create something that will benefit millions of caregivers and their loved one’s cope with cancer.
What quality or characteristic do you feel is most important to your success?
Keep yourself open to the possibilities of challenge and change, it keeps you growing, and most importantly… I will repeat what I said above… “When working on yourself and/or your career… when you start feeling that urge to RUN and you know that you’re not actually in physical or mental danger… THAT is when you dig your heels in even more and you push through what feels like an edge and move past that which you feared was impossible!” Because YOU ARE limitless!
Contact Info:
- Website: www.3cubedstudios.com
- Yelp: https://www.yelp.com/biz/3-cubed-studios-valley-glen
- Other: https://www.caregivingcancer.org
Image Credits
Photo of Mary Lou Sandler with hat and camera is by Steven Sandler. All other photos and graphic design by Mary Lou Sandler of 3 cubed studios, LLC
