We’re looking forward to introducing you to Valerie Vibar. Check out our conversation below.
Valerie, so good to connect and we’re excited to share your story and insights with our audience. There’s a ton to learn from your story, but let’s start with a warm up before we get into the heart of the interview. What are you most proud of building — that nobody sees?
What am I most proud of building that nobody sees? Definitely my confidence!
I’m Filipino. I’m plus-size. And I’m loud, proud of what I believe in, and very creative and somewhat overly passionate sometimes. And as confident as I am in my own body, I was raised in a post-colonial environment. I spent my childhood seeing in person and on TV how brown skinned people were made fun of and belittled, and how being whiter meant you were treated better. I even spent at least a good decade or two of my life bleaching my skin. And being raised in Asia (not only the Philippines), I was constantly made fun of because of my size. And that includes not only my weight but also my height. And I’m only 5’6! People in the retail store would look at me and openly judge me. They wouldn’t even hush their voices. Also, in Asia (not only the Philippines. I constantly have to repeat that because my fellow Filipinos always think I’m singling them out), being a woman means that you have to act like a woman. I was constantly harassed, whether or not I was following the traditional rules of what a woman should be. Enough is enough. I am who I am. I am proud of who I am. And I’ve already planted the seeds that I’ve chosen in my garden, and I am watching the flowers bloom.
Despite what I just said, I love my motherland so much. There is nothing more that I want than to see Filipinos and fellow indigenous people and women be empowered and be free of the chains imposed on them by colonialism or sexism.
One beautiful thing about Asia is that we value community and family. The more I fell in love with myself, the more confident I became, the more I wanted to fight for the rights of other people. The more I want to give. One of my dreams is to open an orphanage in the Philippines to help the street children and the homeless orphans. I feel connected to children because I want to make them feel that they are valued and loved, and that they deserve a home and an education.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
Hi!
My name is Valerie Vibar, and I do many things. I’ll spend a whole paragraph or two just saying what I do. So I’ll speak about what I believe my brand or beliefs are.
I’m working on a lot of projects right now, but what makes me very proud is that I stand on the belief of community first. I believe in uplifting the unheard voices.
I run a biweekly open mic at the Tribal Cafe in Echo Park. I restarted this mic because I was terribly unhappy. I missed my community, and I missed my friends. I missed being in love with stand-up comedy (the mic is a mixed mic, by the way, so all acts are welcome!). So I brought this mic back with a goal of having an environment where comics (and other artists) can support each other. We don’t bring each other down. We respect each other. We listen. And we laugh, unlike most comedians who refuse to laugh at other comedians’ jokes. And at the end of the mic, we’re happy and we’re a family. And happiness grounds people. This is my community, and I value them.
Another thing that I’m working on is my script, “The Governor”, which is a feature film script based on the life of my great-grandfather, the late Governor Jesus Bautista. This is a World War 2 story based in the Philippines, and it shows how much Jesus loved not only his family but also his community. In his autobiography, the first words are, “I come from the tribe of the poor”, and on his monument, it is written there, “The Champion of the Poor”. Jesus loved his community so much that I believed that he became Laguna’s Governor during World War 2 for a reason. He is the politician I admire the most, not only because I’m his descendant, but he honestly loved his people. He has always been community first, and I aspire to be that way. I dream of reaching a certain height so that I can go back to my country and give it all back. And when I do die, I don’t want to be remembered for my talents. That would be amazing, certainly, but I want to be remembered in the same way that Jesus is remembered. As a person who loved her community.
Great, so let’s dive into your journey a bit more. Who were you before the world told you who you had to be?
Oh my! You should meet 3-year-old me! That’s the version of myself that I don’t remember because the world taught me how to behave and be a woman at a VERY early age! But I have stories from relatives and also footage of how I was, and I love that version of myself the most! And I believe that I am returning to her, or that she’s finally back, baby!
3-year-old Valerie Vibar was a spitfire. She was talkative and very stubborn! She loved being creative and she loved laughing! She loved being loud and free and fun! She would wear pink a lot, and she often wore so much jewelry you could hear her walking a mile away! She was a character that I adored! I lost her pretty early on, but I fought so hard to bring her back. And I’m very VERY glad that she’s back and ready to be her fabulous self!
What did suffering teach you that success never could?
Patience. Suffering taught me patience. They say time heals all wounds. I believe in that. I also believe in being patient with yourself. During my darkest times, I wanted to be harsh on myself. I wanted to scold myself and tell myself that I did bad. It made me question why I was doing that. I’d never do that to a crying child, but a lot of adults treated me like that when I was young. I had to relearn so many things. And being patient with myself gave me space to breathe and cry. It gave me space to find solutions and to carry myself until the suffering was over.
Next, maybe we can discuss some of your foundational philosophies and views? Is the public version of you the real you?
I would want to say yes? But I don’t really know how the public perceives me. I would want to say, however, that I think that stand-up comedian version of me is the most real, and that’s because I feel free on stage. I can be wild and funny and weird and loud. I can praise people or pick on them if I want to (in a playful way) and say the most absurd things that would not be considered proper in a professional setting.
I always yearned to be myself. That is a very dire need of mine. And a part of me cries whenever I need to be proper and cordial because curse words are hanging at the tip of my tongue. They want to come out. I’m a professional stand-up comedian, and everything I am paid to do a clean show, I cry myself to sleep. Don’t get me wrong. I love the money. I love entertaining people. But the F word just wants to come out every five minutes. And I hope y’all don’t misunderstand me when I say these things. I can be proper and polite, but we all know that everyone’s real selves is not the proper and polite versions of themselves. We all throw insults at people we hate, and we all have wild and kinky fantasies here and there. So, is the public version of me the real me? I would love to say yes because I believe in honesty, but that is just one side of me. That is just one of the many faces that everyone wears. The real me, without the mast and the social rules that govern adulthood, is the one doing stand-up comedy. That’s the 3-year-old version of me just in adult form.
Thank you so much for all of your openness so far. Maybe we can close with a future oriented question. Could you give everything your best, even if no one ever praised you for it?
Of course! You don’t know where I came from. When I was writing my script for “The Governor”, I was told, “Why are you writing that? Jesus Bautista did nothing!” I almost lashed out at that person, but I didn’t! Jesus Bautista, my great-grandfather and the person behind my script, saved a LOT of people! I was also told, “We’re telling you the truth. You’re not funny, and you’re not a good singer”. I am a professional stand-up comedian, and I professionally teach singing. I have been beaten down so much, I have reached a point where I don’t look for praise. I don’t care about it. If I hear it or I don’t hear it, it won’t matter to me. There even came a point that when someone praised me, I would doubt them. Bottom line is, I will always give everything my best. I don’t look for praise. I look for the freedom to do whatever the hell it is that I want to do.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.valerievibar.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valerie.vibar
Image Credits
Matt Kallish
