Story & Lesson Highlights with Santiago Sanchez of El Monte

We recently had the chance to connect with Santiago Sanchez and have shared our conversation below.

Santiago, really appreciate you sharing your stories and insights with us. The world would have so much more understanding and empathy if we all were a bit more open about our stories and how they have helped shaped our journey and worldview. Let’s jump in with a fun one: Are you walking a path—or wandering?
This one’s for the homies, my cats, the descenders of those other dimensions who spawn from their own eternity into our shared coincidental path.

Blessed to be bound to each other in this timeline.

If I seem found, please know I’m always lost too.

In fact, I see the mirror and carve out and toss out that part of me who always feels safe. Sometimes I still feel rage when my ego thinks I’m comfortable. Insecure capitalist programming. The opposite of WALL-E.

Shit is denser than the roaring water Peter walked on. Was he walking a path or did the wandering into his faith save him?

When my dad passed, after my family’s eviction, after I got away from that psycho, and after that day I cried from not being able to afford gas to go get food from a food bank, my spirit shattered into hundreds of dice. If someone looked at them, they may think I was lucky for rolling only 7s. That lost path I took after the rubble cleared led me to true gold, gratitude for being here.

How many times have I strayed or been pushed aside or cast out?

How many times will it happen again?

If I’m wandering or walking, at least I’m here. Since our roads have crossed once already, may we just cheers this day.

Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
My name is Santiago Sanchez Ramirez, proud son of Santiago Sánchez Cabezas & Blanca Ramirez. Under the cloak of my identity, all I hope to ever be is a messenger of God and if we all look at ourselves long enough may we see that we are already on the path knowing ourselves.

All people should know now is I’m making a film for my Father who passed away July 26, 2024. Thanks to my team and homies for making this a reality.

Amazing, so let’s take a moment to go back in time. Who saw you clearly before you could see yourself?
It’s kinda silly.
One day, teenage me went out to workout. During the summers, I couldn’t wait to leave my house and exercise. 14 year old me went to my school campus and really tried to fly. I think I had just seen the superman movie. I remember thinking that if no one was looking, I was going to be granted some kind of divine license to fly.

Who could see me there if I couldn’t even see myself being naive.

Narcissist died of hunger and starvation because he couldn’t stop looking at his reflection in the mirror lake.

In other words, no one can see you if you’re afraid because you’re hiding. I think that’s why I masks. They reveal and conceal at the same damn time.

Honestly, all of you know me better than I know me. Since you don’t know each other so well, I’m really just a fragment to each of you. My story will never be completed. Nobody will know me whole.

I don’t even know myself and that’s cool with me.

To anyone who I feel really saw me before, all you did was create space for me to exist. Certain people will create barriers of you and say you can only be one way. That’s shallow to me and transactional.

If I felt seen, it was because you gave me a spotlight- to sing and dance and be given a chance to be understood.

I pray you grant people their humanity, not as a means to excuse bad behavior, but as a notion that one day you will need that grace also.

What fear has held you back the most in your life?
The portrait of my childhood has me centered in a room of moving shadows. Loved ones flowing in and out of the garage we used to live in. When I was born, before I came to earth, Uncle Sam sold me a dream life, on credit. Today, that I.O.U. lurks for me with ravaging fangs. That dream was deconstructed into thousands of middle men. Truthfully, empires are divine, in the same way that divinity isn’t constituted by something being good, just nearly impossible. In that impossibility, empires are created. All the parts that shift together to make my dream happen were systemically set up without my consideration. The real fear was enjoying life, and the motivation against it was apparition of success through constant productivity. Lost in the cyclical sea of ADs feeding my biggest insecurities, I only wanted to be profitable as the machine dreamt me to chase. Chase, my bank, observed every ambitious purchase, tracking every transaction. Livid I thought I was alive, lively. Literature saved me as a child. I realized I could have dreams, and stories I connected with. Shoutout my moms for buying us Legos allowing us to tell our own stories in our imagination. Love. I think Love saved us.

For years, four years felt like a long time when I was a kid thinking the moon was following me in our little sedan. I witnessed, firsthand, the American Dream. Every morning, it was in my Father’s eyes. He always worked. Shine or rain. One time he told me he saw someone end their life at the Los Angeles Union Station Center. I felt so sad for him that he still had to go to work after that. Taking the train as a daily 6:17AM commute was hard one summer when I went with him. I hated going to install wood floors on Saturdays as a kid. Now in my older age, I can appreciate that memory. It’s the reason I used to always work in my adulthood. Mixed in the cocktail of opportunity was also the sour taste of circumstance. I didn’t decide where to spawn… ? My spirits were raised in the heart of Los Angeles. That burning city of angels made me me. The smell of the taqueros on Valley. IYKYK (If You Know You Know). Your known around here. Red Pears? People’s Cafe? Lefty Gunplay xD , In-n-Out University. Recreation taught me relaxation. It showed me how to not participate in things that steal my humanity even if its a really good meme.

Chill days were the true savior of my teens dude. Days where I could rest in a way only I can truly enjoy kept me going. I used to set up fundraisers for the homies living in tents in Baldwin Park. Our school club would go out there and make them burritos and a bunch of crazy yummy shit. There was pozole from scratch and sodas too. Shit was lit. I look back fondly but also realize that my intentions were partially to get into a university. I truly think we did a lot of good work in that time, and I’m proud looking back at that version of ourselves. I didn’t have papers before. I was undocumented. I was like a untitled excel sheet. I was not going to be able to work after high school. So I worked hard to make that dream a reality. Then, it happened. I was in. I was ready to embark, to see how I would do in the Finals. I struggled financially through college even though I was on a full ride. I started taking photos during graduation, winter, or with school clubs. Things changed for the better.

I was always lost and I will probably always be. I think about it like the story of Sisyphus. Anytime I thought I was certain about something, it would change. Kai taught me through his lyrics that the “only constant is change.” I made peace with that entity. I cried in my adulthood about my dad before he passed. I remember listening to Crown by Kendrick Lamar and feeling intense gratitude for my Father. I love my Mother just the same. I learned about how Christianity teaches us that the ultimate form of love is having a sacrificial moment and the legislative scrutiny that leads up to it. On my own, I learned that love is more than sacrifice. Sacrifice is a beautiful effort, but someone who truly loves you will ask you to slow down. Life as it is now is better for me than it was for my parent’s life. I sit on the shoulders of my ancestry with the recognition that not all of those people were “good people”. We are all a deeply mixed human story.

My Father’s daily sacrifice was the door to better mental health for my childhood. Even when we lived in a garage for two months, I felt like he cared because he showed up. I’m in a place of privilege when I say I’ve learned to relax because that is not a reality for most people. It feels like I’m cheating on a diet when I take an extra breath.

I wasn’t built to be still. Everything behind me is always screaming run; but when I look around and feel the gentle bloom of the wind, I I can see that it’s all okay. I look down into the lake’s ripples to notice the sun flaring into different shapes through the reflection of the water.

I may have been afraid before, but being here. Right now. Writing this story. It’s all I care about. I learned to care about my quality of life and it became the NorthStar of my healing. I made time to create a short film for my Father. Thank you to my team. Marco Sanchez. Victor. Lolo. People’s Cafe. Ainsly. Daniel Fong. Adrian. Alex. Melodee. Giselle. My Mother. My sisters. My Cat. Ian. Carlos. Christopher. Eduardo. Alex. Luis. Jeremy. Giselle’s Family. Barbosa Tacos. Frank. Jesus (One of my dad’s closest friend). My grandma. My Tia’s and Tios. My Tio tono. Kelly. My Tia Erika. Kai. Ainsly. Daniel. Danny. Tia Teresa. Tormenta. Cynthia. Shante. Luna. Eloy. Alexander. Joy. Carina. Emilio. Melinda. Darwin. Tim. Jasmine. Henry.

And everyone of you who donated to make this film possible. Thank you.

Love to My dad, Santiago Sanchez Cabezas. & Shout out my Momma, Blanca.

Sure, so let’s go deeper into your values and how you think. Is the public version of you the real you?
Hell no.

Thank you so much for all of your openness so far. Maybe we can close with a future oriented question. Are you tap dancing to work? Have you been that level of excited at any point in your career? If so, please tell us about those days. 
Yes, I have tap danced to work. When I was able to direct the film I wrote last year. I am dedicating it to my Dad. It is not based on his life, it’s just a film that I feel very inspired to create and honor him with. On the pockets of my free time that weekend, I would get rushes of dopamine. I kept thinking. How can I always do this? I’ve learned to appreciate a moment as it is without chasing an outcome. It was enough to be doing that which I always wanted to do. I have been lost so many times in my life, but for that collective moment, I felt a deep connection to our effort in telling this story. I may not know where I’ll end up. Maybe one day I will get deported. I’m not sure, but for now, I’m just in my room doing some embroidery.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://santiagos.myportfolio.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/santyi_._._/
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@megacrispythought
• Other: https://santiagos.myportfolio.com/
  password: visionary

  (Spotify)
  https://open.spotify.com/artist/5wEfTMSiMMYMQ3n9onMG2j?si=5tvn1N6hSB6XCAbBZ76XqA

Image Credits
1. Giselle
2. Giselle
3. Adrian’s Momma
4. Santiago
5. Fernanda
6. Santiago
7. Adrian
8. Adrian
9. Carlos
8. Alex