Life & Work with Tayler Holcomb

Today we’d like to introduce you to Tayler Holcomb.

Hi Tayler, thanks for joining us today. We’d love for you to start by introducing yourself.
It was a warm summer night, raindrops kissing my cheeks in the front passenger seat of my high school best friend’s car – a convertible Mustang that we “borrowed” from her dad. She reached down to the stereo and typed in “Cherry Bomb – The Runaways”. Little did we know that song would change my life. The B chord on the electric guitar started blasting through the speakers. The bright socal sun had traded places with a luminous moon that seemed to shine just for us. The beat exploded in my chest igniting a fire for this music I had never heard before. I shouted in shock to her and demanded to know who the name and artist was – she replied through her beaming smile, “Joan Jett! This is The Runaways!” I slumped back into the seat astounded, how had I never heard of this before? I had not thought much of rock music, and I discovered right then and there how this would be the way I could release the pressure from my chest. The lyrics were angsty and full of rage and power, and the chords were so striking. Just a few months later, I would begin my musical journey as a musician. I have always had a flair for the dramatic – everything is a production.

As long as I can remember, I have been seeking something outside of myself. With this subconscious mindset, I sought out performing and always found a way to put on a show. I found modeling as a direct introduction to others in the entertainment industry. Somewhere down the line, I ended up in a dark place mentally and battled an eating disorder that consumed me during the pandemic. Adapting to an environment where you have to objectify yourself, market yourself – you’re selling your body and your personality, it was hard to compartmentalize. I really struggled with my sense of self-worth, especially after facing rejection due to my just-barely-too-big body at a size 2. All within a month, during spring of 2021 – the combination of my history with my weight and self-image, and with the inner turmoil of coming to terms with my sexuality – I found myself in a situation where another person violated my trust and my boundaries and cost me everything I felt I had. I became ostracized from my inner circle of people and turned to Hollywood to escape. I then found people that embraced my newfound dark and wild side without protecting myself from their equally unpredictable nature.

This is essentially the beginning of my music. I met the person who would produce my first EP and within two weeks we had started a project that would be finished before my 21st birthday that July. I took inspiration from the injustices of capitalism, personifying it and the music industry through Groupie culture. I wrote my song “Groupie” as a response to the patriarchy, sexualization of women, the expectation to do what you’re expected to rather than what you should, the act of living authentically as a queer person. I wrote it about my desire to walk the path less traveled, and how I no longer want to actively chase things that are meant to serve others at a cost to myself – dressing a certain way, repressing my newfound queerness, catering to the hamster wheel of capitalism, pleasing men, and the constant ache of hating my body because it is not as marketable than a smaller body. I wrote my song “Ave Satana” in anger at the catholic church. I wanted to completely release the betrayal I felt by the institution of Christianity and the double standards supporting modern misogynistic and patriarchal views. I want to live my life for myself and I want to do so unapologetically.

I actually bought a nun’s habit at Hollywood Costumes on Hollywood Blvd, drove to Hollywood Forever Cemetery, and set up a little shrine to all of my musical idols and sang some old Latin chants I remembered from my days in the choir, and it started to rain. I drove back to my apartment, closed every window blocking out all traces of light, and wrote the entire song in one day. The concept of my EP was to make an art piece that felt as unrefined, eccentric, loud, and uncomfortable as possible – to make listeners feel uncomfortable. I want people to question their beliefs and ask themselves why they felt uncomfortable listening to it and watching the music videos. I wanted them to feel how I did when my agency was ripped apart in a million little ways. How it feels to be reduced down to the value you can provide to others at your own expense. Recently, I find myself recoiling at my work when I listen back or hear others reference it, and I have had some hesitation about performing it on a stage in front of people. I feel proud when I catch myself having these thoughts though – because I intended for a certain reaction from those consuming my art, and I was so effective that it makes even myself feel uncomfortable.

Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way. Looking back would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
To be honest, it has in fact not been an easy path – due to many reasons. I will say first and foremost the road would have been much smoother had I made different decisions. In the past, I carried with me a belief that I would never do something I regret, that good or bad the choices I made were the right ones for me, which is an incredibly hard standard to hold yourself by especially through such intense life changes and circumstances. Coming to terms with alcohol abuse and poor judgment is not an easy road, it is quite uncomfortable, humbling, and disappointing. I will always work to not repeat those same choices now, as I remind myself in small and big ways every day. I constantly battle deciding what lessons to take from experiences and then how to employ them in the future. Being taken advantage of financially, sexually, being robbed of my time – I have to wonder if they would have been less likely to happen and the impact been less detrimental had I made other choices. Being a good judge of character is a skill I am actively strengthening, as well as looking to myself for answers without needing external affirmation. Aside from the many mistakes I have made, there are some things I have learned. I have a tendency to think ten steps ahead and lose myself in the present.

Finding the right people to surround yourself with, reaching out to those who are doing what you think you want to do yourself, and setting up a foundation to be healthy and ultimately ready to bounce at any opportunity is what I would prescribe. I know, “practice what you preach,” do the best you can every day. Even if it’s not what you think you could be doing if you think you can do more if you think you need to be somewhere. To be honest, you absolutely can do more and you probably should be somewhere – but the only way to do those things or get there is to do better than yesterday as your biggest competition always has been and always will be yourself. Making a plan is a basic first step that plagues me as I can never decide what plan to move forward with. But then it comes down to acceptance that you don’t have to know what you’re going to do just yet. I really struggle with being stagnant as I don’t know what to do next. I keep hoping I will find a producer, a mentor, a musician, an artist; someone who will help me. But then I come full circle as there is no one to come around to save me – only I can do that. Cue “Don’t Save Her” by Tella.

Alright, so let’s switch gears a bit and talk business. What should we know about your work?
My life’s goal is to make good art. To connect with people and touch people the way music has for me. When I was at my worst, listening to music was coping and making it was therapy. But rock and roll was a lifestyle I chose to follow. I believed at the time that I wanted to chase cigarettes, the last drop of a shot glass, dive bars, and aggressive social justice and it may not have been healthy or effective but by God was it rich with opportunity for personal growth, a necessary path to self-discovery. As I have grown, my musical palate has evolved with me and I am grateful for the name I chose as it can stay with me. The artist name that I created is “Tella”. I decided on this name as it is easily said by many different languages and it fits many genres.

Also, it is feminine and close to my name Tayler, without being too gendered; representing my gender fluidity and nonbinary identity well. Everything seemed to happen at once. I was struck with this personal catastrophe, launching myself into a new name, new clothes, new ideas and new things to escape from, which is how I ultimately ended up an artist writing it all down for you here today. I quickly developed my signature presence; dark eye makeup, wispy blonde shag mullet black leather, and adorning myself with lots of chains, rings, earrings and big platform shoes. I no longer would wear the soft, inviting, non-threatening hyper feminine costume and in exchange, I hide certain parts of myself and broadcasted others. They say that rock and roll is a lifestyle, which I absolutely took to heart. I decided that the end all be all of the scenes for rock was sunset boulevard and spent every Friday night there preaching individuality and freedom from patriarchal boundaries. In retrospect, a washed-up dive bar with pocket-draining whiskey neats was in fact not the place to be, but I digress. At shows across Hollywood, my ever-changing band performed covers of Blondie, Miley Cyrus, and Joan Jett. When making my own music, I found inspiration for my songwriting through the Riot Girl movement, second-wave feminism, and women in rock. I wanted to reclaim sexuality in a way that isn’t necessarily appealing, which I became known for.

Currently, I am pursuing a bachelor’s degree in politics, and I used performing to emphasize how my art communicates the many ways in which being a queer, female-presenting person can be an uphill battle in the wake of patriarchal late-stage capitalism. I lived and breathed the messages in my music and found ways to speak out on it. Perhaps for starting out in music, it was a pipe dream to believe that such an intense, dark, and niche set of tracks would be my big break, but at the end of the day, my goal is to make good art that connects with people. I hope to continue doing so, with my art growing as I do without straying from my ultimate dream. I would say that I am most proud of my determination and resilience to be heard. It is such a huge risk to pursue the arts, especially as one that is so personally forward and one that is not fit for all audiences. I am proud that my music may feel intense, uncomfortable, scary, objectively “bad”, young, loud, immature – whatever. I am proud it even makes me feel all of these things, and I am proud that I am honoring my deepest desire despite being afraid.

Can you talk to us a bit about the role of luck?
I consider myself very lucky in the way that kismet experiences and extremely complex coincidences seem to be a common occurrence for me! So many things have happened for me thus far that have put me in places that really helped me and sometimes taught me a lot as well. For example, in 2021 I was on set for the music video for Ricky Martin’s music video “Que Rico Fuera” when I struck up a conversation with one of the props guys. He actually was the “ice cream guy” who manned a line of big ice cream trucks that are featured in lots of different industry projects. He referred me to someone who let me use their car, the big yellow “Live and Die” ride of Tupac’s – the original one, and it just so happened to be in my hometown of Long Beach! And for free! It was so incredible. Another time, I was in New York for a random trip when a photographer who found me by chance on Instagram messaged me explaining a model had dropped the shoot due to fashion week and if I was available for a shoot. I get there, and the moodboard chosen just so happened to be androgynous, rockabilly 90s Miley Cyrus Joan Jett vibes. On the subway back from Queens to Manhattan, I got a message from my previous hair stylist that Miley Cyrus had commented, “You look f*cking hot” on the video of me getting my signature blonde mullet the first time! It was inspired by her hair, and six months and 23 likes later, she found it on that day at that time. It was crazy!

Later in spring 2022, I was at a little show at the observatory OC, seeing a small band when I heard a familiar voice down the bar. I turn around and immediately, my stomach drops as it is none other than Miley Cyrus herself. I quietly went to the bathroom to compose myself and have a little shot of whiskey. When I returned, the band had started playing their set, I removed any hope or notion of Miley from my head and just threw myself into enjoying the show. The singer had stepped off the stage and with the mic in hand hopped into the crowd, made eye contact with me and started singing softly to me, and the band had stopped playing. I was so shocked! The show carried on, and I was dancing freely, just enjoying, when a few songs later, I felt a hand on my shoulder. It gives me chills even recalling this moment. I turn and it’s Miley herself, in the flesh. She leans in and says, “You’re so cute! Can I dance with you?” and I was so euphoric that I simply nodded and smiled. She grabbed my hands and we spun around and laughed and just had a ball. She kissed my hand goodbye and winked, neither of us said a word to each other. It was so incredible I hold that memory close to this day. Luck has favored me well, as most coincidences have been positive ones, which I would consider luck in of itself. Let’s hope the coincidences keep happening and getting better – and that I’ll be prepared to make the most of them!

Contact Info:

• Website: https://linktr.ee/Tellamusic?utm_source=linktree_profile_share&ltsid=49503801-d024-44e0-a6ec-d5925cd6becd
• Instagram: https://instagram.com/te11ah?utm_medium=copy_link
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tayler.holcomb.3
• Twitter: https://twitter.com/TaylerHolcomb
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@tella8477  

Image Credits
Chain Mail Instagram: @jacklynsatin Black button up with sunglasses playing guitar, as well as red and blue lit performance shot Instagram: @attikusthefilmguy Kneeling on the ground performing black vest Instagram: @itschloemilano