Life & Work with Patricia Friberg

Today we’d like to introduce you to Patricia Friberg.

Hi Patricia, so excited to have you with us today. What can you tell us about your story?
The SoCal Sojourner’s Guide to Creating a Home

In 2005, I was living in Chicago, managing one the largest fitness facilities in the world while working as a psychotherapist at a clinic and even fitting in some sweet side gigs teaching Pilates classes at Harpo Studios. Then, my husband says, “Hon, I was just offered a great opportunity in CA.”

Four months later, we arrived at LAX with our 1-year-old son, George, and our two cats. The 405 was gridlocked, which I soon learned was a natural occurrence, so our driver took us to our new home in Thousand Oaks via Kanan Dune. The coastline on PCH took my breath away with the light shimmering like diamonds on the ripples of the waves and the canyons lit up bright green by the setting sun.

Then eighteen months ago, my husband says, “Hon, I’ve been offered a great opportunity in Luzern, Switzerland.” It sounded like a fantastic adventure, but I loved our Cali lifestyle—not just the green drinks from Juice Ranch, the bougie salads from Mendocino Farms, and the Americanos from the Coffee Bean that recharged my batteries but, most of all, the connections we’d built with the people here.

I knew deep down that I could make a home in Luzern, Switzerland. After all, I’ve lived in many places: Knoxville, Tennessee; Portland, Maine; New York City; Lebanon; New Hampshire. We even lived in a Residence Inn in Long Beach after being evacuated during the Wolsey Fires in 2018.

During that evacuation, I learned that what defines home for me isn’t anything I own. It isn’t even a place I find. It’s my family. But I’ve also learned how to create a sense of home anywhere by doing three things.

1. Find your People

As soon as I arrived in LA all those years ago, I began meeting friends at the gym. Gradually, my sons found their buddies through school and countless hours on the baseball field.

Now living as an ex-pat in a foreign country, I have attended every Apero, or “get to know you” mixer to befriend any ex-Pat who speaks English as well as any German speaker who will willingly tolerate my “Deustchlish,” which is what I call my stammering broken German.

When you seek out and find other “transplants” to your new area—especially in a foreign country– you are bonded by the similar challenges of adapting to your new way of living. This heightened vulnerability helps you cut through the B.S. and get honest about how things are really going and often leads to them becoming “Forever Friends.”
The faster you find your people, the faster a new place will feel like home.

2. Celebrate Both Old and New Customs

My boys loved celebrating Halloween in LA every year. Thousands of trick-or-treaters would pack our neighborhoods. There were block parties, haunted mansions, food trucks, and everyone, young and old, dressed up. They could hardly wait for Halloween to arrive here in Luzern.

We got together with a dozen of their ex-pat friends from the US and the UK.

“Trick or Treat” we yelled, causing quite a raucous as we walked the city streets in our costumes.

But we were the only ones out.
Spying a woman on her balcony, the boys asked, “Haben sie candy, bitte?

“Ja,” she responded.

Then she put a single bag of Haribo gummies in the first boy’s Halloween bucket, and when the second boy held out his bucket, she told them that one bag was for all of them to share.

“Dankeschön,” we said and went home defeated.

Let’s face it; this Halloween was a bust!

But we were still happy we made an effort to celebrate a day that had always meant so much to us.

Meanwhile, we were also embracing customs unique to the region, like Desalpe De Charmey, which celebrates the cow’s ceremonial descent from the high elevations of the Alps to lower pastures for the winter months. The ceremony dates to Neolithic times, around 3000 B.C. Local farmers dress in traditional attire, and the cows get dressed up too! They wear beautiful headdresses and the most enormous bells you’ve ever seen. Hundreds upon hundreds of these well-behaved, well-dressed cows walk single file and two by two in a parade through the city. With all those cowbells jingling and trilling simultaneously, it’s akin to the cacophony we create when we light up our skies with fireworks on the 4th of July!

Places like Switzerland become home as you embrace local customs like these, tailgating and cheering with the locals along the parade route.

3. Appreciate the Local Environment

Both LA and Switzerland have mountains, but they’re not the same. What you do on them and how you get to them are different, too. No matter where you live, developing an appreciation for the local environment is essential for it to feel like home.

I’d hike the mountains in the early days of my transition to LA. When I got overseas, I again turned to the environment for support. Gazing at the towering Alps, which looked like they’d been dipped in powdered sugar, would make my heart pitter-patter.

One afternoon, I took the boat to the cog rail train. I wanted to snowshoe on Mt. Rigi, where I’d been several times. Since it was midweek, it was just me and another older couple on the train car. As it climbed up, we passed beyond the low-laying clouds that blanketed the city to see the sun illuminating the snow.

WOW! SCHÖNEN!

We gasped in unison at the sight and then started snapping pictures the rest of the way to the summit as if we were paparazzi at a red-carpet event. Connected by the awe we experienced, I wondered, as we smiled at each other, where this couple was from, and I felt sure it must be their first time to Mt Rigi.

As we disembarked at Rigi Kulm, the last stop, they asked, “Where are you from, dear?”

I explained that I was living here as an ex-pat from CA. I had a couple of hours free. This was my favorite spot to snowshoe.

“How about you?”

“Oh, we’ve lived here almost 40 years. We also had a free day. The view never gets old.”

Wow!—40 years, and they were still taking time to still appreciate the natural beauty around them. No matter where you go or how long you’re there, it feels like home when you take time to appreciate your local environment anew every day.

In 18 months, my family will be boarding an A380 and heading back to LA. I will be returning forever changed from the woman who arrived in Switzerland because of how I immersed myself in the community here by volunteering, providing job skills training for Ukrainian refugees, supporting the mental health alliance of Switzerland, and providing pro-bono coaching through the well-being clinic at the University of East London, where in January, I will complete my MSc in Masters in Applied Positive Psychology and Coaching Psychology. Leaning into my number one VIA strength, love of learning always helps to make these challenging transitions from moving extremely meaningful.

When we arrive at LAX, I’m sure the 405 will still be gridlocked; the coastline on PCH will again take my breath away, just as it did 17 years ago when we arrived as transplants from Chicago. I look forward to meeting my friends at 101 North for my favorite “Lovely Loon” Cocktail and getting my hair done with Rosy at Bliss Salon while catching up on everything I missed these past three years. I’ll eagerly look up concerts coming to the Hollywood Bowl, get my favorite green juices, and block off at least 30 minutes for parking lot conversations at Coffee Bean.

But I’m also going to miss seeing and hearing a parade of dressed-up cows with big bells every year.

Because now both LA and Switzerland feel like home.

I’m sure you wouldn’t say it’s been obstacle free, but so far would you say the journey have been a fairly smooth road?
There have been plenty of obstacles both from moving and living abroad. While these challenges can undoubtedly affect well-being, the outcomes often provide growth opportunities.

I remember one specific week early in our transition to Switzerland where even the simplest tasks, such as doing laundry or going to the market, ended up feeling like I was trying to move mountains.

Firstly, I did not fully understand the bottle’s label, so I washed the family laundry with fabric softener instead of soap. Let’s just say we smelled ok, but do not stand too close to us.

Next, when I was on the local train heading to my son’s school, I could tell by the tone that the conductor was making an important announcement, but it was in Swiss German; I looked around to find someone to help me; I was alone. The next thing I knew, we blew right past my stop, and 30 minutes later, after going through a dark tunnel that seemed to last forever, it stopped in a neighboring city. I never made it to my meeting.

Then, I went to the market to pick up dinner; I was excited to order the “lachs” in german but was not prepared to order it in grams (not pounds); needless to say, we ate salmon for all meals for the next three days.
That week I pushed back the tears; I missed home; I was exhausted, and it was so hard to do what were once easy tasks; I just wanted one day to be easy.

These experiences provided me with a deeper understanding and empathy of the experiences of those who have immigrated, especially related to the work within the community, with the Ukrainian refugees adapting to a new home under the most challenging of situations.

Leaning into the mindset of the personal gains from overcoming obstacles, i.e., learning to speak German, helps me through the tough times. Metaphorically speaking, while we may endure many storms, there is always freshness and new growth after the rain.

Can you tell our readers more about what you do and what you think sets you apart from others?
The knowledge gained from 10 years as a clinical counselor/ art therapist, 25 years in Health and wellness, 10 years in management has given me a unique perspective for dissertation research on Human Flourishing and Creativity within leadership. I graduate from MAPPCP ( Masters in Applied Positive Psychology & Coaching psychology) in January 2023.

I will continue to share this knowledge through podcasting, consulting, and coaching.

What makes you happy?
This is a loaded question for me. As a graduate student studying Applied Positive Psychology, the science of happiness and human flourishing has been in my scope of research. The PERMA model (Seligman 2011) has five pillars of human flourishing: positive emotions, engagement, relationships, meaning, and accomplishment.
Related to the shared story, spending time with friends & family makes me happy; falling into relationships and positive emotions and shared experiences with loved ones improve my well-being.

Appreciating the environment and practicing ‘awe”, like gazing at how the light hits the ripples in the ocean or California sunset, also boosts positive emotions. Research suggests that practicing “awe” also gives you a sense of altruism and being a part of something larger, this is an example of meaning and engagement. As mentioned in the story, witnessing the beauty of the Alps with the other couple made me feel a sense of connection; I was not alone as we bore witness to the experience together.

Lastly, I am happy when I am involved in the arts and humanities from an experiential and engagement perspective. I enjoy studying improv, attending dance classes and singing. From an experiential perspective, I enjoy attending concerts, the symphony, and the theater, as well as visiting art galleries, museums, and historical landmarks; as an extrovert, I especially enjoy things in the company of others.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.patriciafriberg.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/patriciafriberg/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/patriciafribergcoaching
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6zJOSAWA8SJmoEoobaSX_w/featured
• Other: https://youtu.be/_dRjmt6fdbI

Image Credits
Ashley Barrett Photography Priscilla Moura Photography