We’re looking forward to introducing you to Shelby Castile LMFT. Check out our conversation below.
Shelby, we’re thrilled to have you with us today. Before we jump into your intro and the heart of the interview, let’s start with a bit of an ice breaker: What do the first 90 minutes of your day look like?
The first 90 minutes of my day set the tone for everything else. I keep my mornings intentional and grounding before diving into client work or business tasks.
Before I even get out of bed, I sit up and do a short meditation—it helps me manage racing thoughts and keep perfectionist tendencies in check.
Coffee comes first—always. (Let’s be honest, it’s my other form of meditation.) I sip while I check my calendar, review my to-do list, and catch up on anything that came in overnight.
Then I drive into Newport Beach for hot yoga. Nothing clears my head (or wakes me up) like sweating it out on the mat. Back home, I’ll have a juice and something to eat before starting the day.
That rhythm keeps me grounded, clear, and ready for whatever comes my way. By the time I sit down at my desk, I feel energized and ready to show up fully for my clients, community, and team.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
Hi, I’m Shelby. ◡̈
I’m a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, yoga teacher, and the founder of OC Shrinks, a community of more than 5,000 mental health professionals in Orange County. For the past 20 years, I’ve helped people navigate anxiety, trauma, and the sneaky pressures of perfectionism using evidence-based practices like EMDR and DBT, paired with mindfulness, yoga, and breath work that support both mind and body.
I created OC Shrinks because therapists deserve support too. Our work can be deeply meaningful, but it can also be isolating. I wanted a community where clinicians could connect, collaborate, and lift each other up. Today, we’re continuing to grow with new events, resources, and membership opportunities that help us all thrive in this profession.
At the core of everything I do is a simple mission: to help people feel grounded, connected, and truly supported. Whether I’m in session with a client or cheering on clinicians in our community, I’m passionate about creating spaces where people feel seen and empowered.
Amazing, so let’s take a moment to go back in time. Who saw you clearly before you could see yourself?
My mother. Without question.
From a young age, she recognized something in me that I couldn’t yet name – this deep pull toward helping others, paired with an intensity that could either fuel me or burn me out. She saw my sensitivity as a strength before I learned to armor against it. She watched me struggle with perfectionism and self-doubt, yet somehow always held this unshakeable belief that I was exactly where I needed to be.
When I was uncertain about my path, questioning whether I was “doing enough” or “being enough,” she’d remind me: “You’ve always been drawn to people’s stories. Trust that.” She saw the therapist in me long before I had the license or the confidence to claim it.
Even now, when I’m juggling client work, building OC Shrinks, and managing the inner critic that tells me I should be further along – she’s the one who reflects back the truth. She reminds me that the work I’m doing matters, that building community is just as important as sitting across from clients, and that showing up imperfectly is still showing up.
My mother taught me that being seen clearly isn’t about being perfect – it’s about being loved through the becoming. And that gift? It’s shaped everything about how I show up in this work.
Do you remember a time someone truly listened to you?
Yes. I was fifteen, sitting in my therapist’s office for the first time.
My mom had been diagnosed with breast cancer, and I was drowning in thoughts and emotions I had no idea how to process. Everything felt new and terrifying- this wasn’t anxiety or depression (which would come later)- it was grief I didn’t yet have words for. I was trying to hold it together on the outside while navigating completely uncharted territory on the inside.
I walked into that room afraid that if I spoke honestly, I’d be told I was overreacting or that what I was feeling wasn’t valid. And then she just… listened.
Not to fix me or rush me toward answers. She sat with me in the mess of it all and made space for every confusing, contradictory feeling. She didn’t flinch when I cried. She didn’t try to talk me out of my pain. She simply held it with me.
That experience changed everything. It was the first time I felt truly seen – not despite my struggles, but through them. She showed me that being heard isn’t about having the right words or being “perfect.” It’s about being human and having someone witness that humanity without judgment.
That’s when I knew: This is what I want to do. Every time I sit with a client now, I’m honoring what was given to me in that room at fifteen.
I think our readers would appreciate hearing more about your values and what you think matters in life and career, etc. So our next question is along those lines. What are the biggest lies your industry tells itself?
Ohh geez! How much time do you have? ◡̈
Here are a few that come to mind
Self-care solves burnout: The mental health field loves to preach self-care while ignoring the systemic issues that actually drive therapist burnout – low reimbursement rates, insurance company barriers, administrative overload, and the emotional weight of holding space for trauma day after day. A bubble bath isn’t going to fix a broken system.
Good therapists don’t struggle: There’s this unspoken expectation that because we help others with their mental health, we should have ours perfectly figured out. The truth? We’re human. We have bad days, we go to therapy, we sometimes feel like we’re drowning too. Pretending otherwise doesn’t make us better clinicians – it just makes us isolated.
Competition over collaboration: Too many therapists operate in silos, viewing each other as competition for clients rather than colleagues who could support and refer to one another. That’s exactly why I created OC Shrinks – because we’re better together. When we share resources, knowledge, and referrals, everyone wins. Especially our clients.
The mental health field needs less performative wellness and more honest conversations about what it actually takes to sustain this work – and each other.
Okay, we’ve made it essentially to the end. One last question before you go. What do you understand deeply that most people don’t?
That healing isn’t linear – and that’s not a problem to fix.
We live in a culture obsessed with progress: faster results, measurable outcomes, constant forward momentum. But real transformation doesn’t work that way. People spiral back to the same issues, revisit old wounds, and sometimes feel worse before they feel better. And that’s exactly how it’s supposed to work.
I’ve learned through two decades of clinical work that the moments when clients feel like they’re “going backward” are often when the deepest healing happens. You can’t rush integration. You can’t optimize your way through grief. And you definitely can’t “productivity hack” becoming whole.
Most people don’t understand that sometimes the bravest thing you can do is simply stay with yourself in the mess-without needing to fix it, explain it, or make it prettier for anyone else. That’s where real change lives.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.shelbycastile.com & www.orangecountyshrinks.com
- Instagram: @shelbycastile, @therapy4influencers, @oc_shrinks
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shelbycastilemft/
- Twitter: https://x.com/shelbycastile & https://x.com/OC_SHRINKS
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shelbycastile & https://www.facebook.com/ocshrinks
- Yelp: https://www.yelp.com/biz/shelby-castile-ma-lmft-newport-beach?osq=Shelby+Castile%2C+MA+%C2%A0LMFT
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@shelbycastilelicensedpsych6827
