Inspiring Conversations with Maria Natapov of Synergistic Stepparenting

Today we’d like to introduce you to Maria Natapov.

Hi Maria, so excited to have you on the platform. So, before we get into questions about your work life, maybe you can bring our readers up to speed on your story and how you got to where you are today. 
As an immigrant from a country with a completely different culture, language, and values compared to those in the US and a child of divorce raised primarily by my maternal grandparents, the adjustment in the tween and teen years was a difficult one. I was very sheltered, and my former culture didn’t allow room for having a voice, much less processing emotions or successfully resolving conflict. Not surprisingly, my first romantic relationship was not a healthy one and ended in a painful divorce. When I met my now husband and became a stepmom, I felt the responsibility and deep desire to ensure that I provide my stepdaughter with the nurture and support I so desperately craved when I was young and in need of direction and guidance. That’s when I made a commitment to heal my wounds and be the best version of myself. 

5 years into my stepparenting journey, my stepdaughter revealed that she was being abused and neglected by her bio-mom and stepdad, that it had been going on for years, and that she was being silenced. We acted quickly, and she came to live with us full-time. After about 6 months, the honeymoon period for her was over as she faced CPTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), ED (eating disorder) and SI (suicidal ideation) head on. And at the same time the population health company I was working for restructured and the 2 departments I was supporting were eliminated and taken in-house by the parent company. Though I had the credentials and recommendations, I found myself dragging my feet with getting another corporate job. While job surfing, one day, I stumbled on a trauma-informed parent coaching program and was enrolled within 48 hours. 

When I joined blended family support groups to connect with other stepparents and parents in stepfamilies, I saw first-hand how many of them were suffering. Many were depressed, feeling uncomfortable in their own homes, often relying on substances just to help them cope, and some were even suicidal. I realized that through my varied life experiences, I had acquired and developed a unique set of skills that were instrumental in helping me navigate the many demands of blended family challenges and dynamics. I was passionate in guiding and assisting other stepparents and divorced parents in stepfamilies acquire these skills too to create a foundation where everyone felt seen and supported. Which is how Synergistic Stepparenting was born. 

I’m sure it wasn’t obstacle-free, but would you say the journey has been fairly smooth so far?
Though it has been a beautiful road full of exploration and growth on every level, it has definitely not been smooth. When my stepdaughter came to live with us full-time, I stepped into the role of a full-time mom to her while holding space for the fact that I am not her mom. In the time following the 6-month “honeymoon” period, we’d grown closer still. 

I would sit with her on the kitchen floor holding her hand reminding her to breathe through her panic attacks. I would sit next to her encouraging her to take just 1 bite of her breakfast, drying her tears as she cried scared and catastrophizing going to school. I’d reminding her “It will be okay,” and to just take it one baby step at a time. I would get up with her at 4:45 am for 1.5 years to do yoga together, because I didn’t want her to feel like she’s alone in building these necessary self-care routines and habits that would hopefully support her through her healing journey and beyond. Back then, I felt the tremendous responsibility to hold her tight and give her everything that she deserved and seemed like she wasn’t given by her own birth mother. And then I knew that it was time to let go and guide her through making her own (hopefully) good decisions about her life and future. 

Over the years I’ve been there to hold her hand through all the wonders of childhood both small and large. I’ve encouraged, watched, and cheered her on to step out of her comfort zone, which she’s done beautifully many times. Whether it’s been, trying out for a new sport, like tennis, or trying out for the talent show with an acapella version of “Talking to the Moon” by Bruno Mars. I’ve watched her step into a relationship with her first boyfriend, go through her first breakup, and go through this cycle several times before learning to choose a partner who respects and appreciates her, which was such a proud moment, made even more so by everything she had been through. 

She’s enriched my life astronomically through my relationship with her. I’ve learned to be more patient, to recognize and break patterns of reactivity, and instead to create the habit of taking a break and making better choices in those moments. I feel like we’ve been through a version of war together. We’ve had brutally honest conversations around our fears, our wounds, and our triggers. We have fought hard and continue to strive to be the best versions of ourselves together. I’m thrilled to share that I had the honor of officially adopting her in December of 2023 and officially becoming her mom, which was a decision she had a lot of say in. 

Thanks – so what else should our readers know about Synergistic Stepparenting?
At the heart of Synergistic Stepparenting is my personal mission to empower those navigating the complexities of blended families to create a foundation where every member feels respected, seen, and considered. Drawing from personal experiences and a deep understanding of the challenges, together we rewrite the narrative, celebrating our differences, turning chaos into harmony, and creating more joy and ease. 

A Unique Approach: Crafting Unity from Chaos 

In the realm of Stepparenting and Co-Parenting, I weave a unique blend of coaching and Rapid Resolution Therapy sessions. This powerful approach rests on four pillars: 

Strengthening Boundaries and Values: By helping individuals define their boundaries and values, I guide them to create a foundation for a thriving family dynamic. 

Aligning with Partners: I empower couples to align their visions, turning partnership into a powerful force within the blended family. 

Creating Family Community: Through nurturing open communication and shared experiences, I transform blended families into cohesive units. 

Building Trust and Connection: The heart of my strategy lies in building trust and fostering connections, bridging gaps between stepchildren and children and the caregivers. 

Beyond Coaching: The Power of Rapid Resolution 

What distinguishes the Synergistic Stepparenting approach from other support services is the inclusion of Rapid Resolution Sessions, a catalyst for transformation. These sessions enable individuals to effortlessly overcome obstacles, reshaping thought patterns, and fostering personal growth, while creating lasting change. 

Another component that sets me apart from other professionals doing this work is my vast experience on all sides of this equation. I’ve been a child of divorce, a stepchild, and stepsister, and a stepparent for decades, and am intricately familiar with the challenges each of those roles brings. Because of these experiences, I take a child-centric approach to my work with families. Additionally, I bring with me skills I’ve learned on my extensive personal journey of growth to heal my emotional wounds and break the cycles of ineffective parenting approaches, incompetent communication, and feeble conflict resolution that just didn’t work to learning skills and strategies that worked effectively and reliably. These insights and much more is what I bring with me into every area of my work. 

I pride myself on a deep commitment to inclusion and meeting people exactly where they’re at in their journey. I want to ensure that clients feel held and supported in all of our interactions, providing them with a safe space to share openly and work together collaboratively to assist them in reaching their goals. 

Where we are in life is often partly because of others. Who/what else deserves credit for how your story turned out?
I’ve been extremely lucky to have made some wonderful connections with other divorce professionals. One of them being Michael Cohen of Michael’s Mediation, LLC. Mike is not only deeply passionate but an extremely skilled divorce professional who genuinely cares about his clients and has a vested interest in them successful resolving their differences amicably with minimal financial and emotional burdens during their divorce. He is an amazing resource to anyone contemplating divorce and loves to educate and advise couples of all of their options in order to get the best and most effective result for their situation. 

Contact Info:

• Website: https://SynergisticStepparenting.com/work
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/maria.natapov/
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/synergisticstepparenting/
• Twitter: https://twitter.com/MariaNatapov
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@synergisticstepparenting4139/search
• SoundCloud: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/synergistic-stepparenting-podcast/id1583777344
• Other: https://synergisticstepparenting.com/podcast

Image Credits
Maria Natapov
Caitlin Costa Photography