Exploring Life & Business with Valerie Uy of SeaPort Family Therapy

Today we’d like to introduce you to Valerie Uy.

Hi Valerie, can you start by introducing yourself? We’d love to learn more about how you got to where you are today?
“You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress, simultaneously.” – Sophia Bush

I have cherished this quote many times throughout the hardest periods in my life when I got to my breaking point when I was unlearning everything I had been taught growing up about mental health and healthy relationships and social justice when I was learning how to love myself again. I found myself turning to this quote for comfort and even shared this quote with clients often throughout our journey together.

I can honestly say that the last couple of years living through the pandemic have been some of the most challenging years of my life. The pandemic has triggered all my old wounds, wounds that my inner child never learned how to heal and is now starting to… I remind myself that I am continuously learning and unlearning while learning to love myself and celebrate myself in a way that I was never taught before.

On this journey of figuring out what I wanted to do with my life, I was pressured to go into the typical careers such as the medical field. I never dreamed of becoming a mental health professional and Licensed MFT because mental health wasn’t openly discussed in my family growing up. While working with children with neurodevelopment disorders like Autism or ADHD or ODD, I saw children who were sent to the principal’s office because they weren’t ‘productive’ or were causing ‘problems’, and I learned to see beyond the label that was placed on them that they were ‘too much’. These children needed to learn how to flourish through praise and a structure that better fit their needs. I worked in a residential/inpatient substance use treatment center and saw beyond these labels placed on them that they were too ‘lazy’ or that they just needed to stop ‘using’ or ‘drinking’. These clients had experienced trauma or had learned how to cope with a world that hadn’t taught them about their own mental health, and they learned how to hide their pain through drugs or alcohol or sex for years, and they became victims of a broken system, of a world that didn’t fully see them or accept them. I worked with a Wraparound team where I saw families that struggled to take their kids to school because of substance use issues or homelessness. The labels placed on them were awful, and in reality, there was a lack of systemic support throughout the parents’ lives or lack of education about mental health or how to support their child with their current needs. I learned to see beyond the labels that society and my culture and my family have taught me growing up.

While going through graduate school to become a therapist, I actively sought my own therapy and learned to soothe my own inner child wounds. I learned about mental health and Emotionally Focused Therapy, and learned how to put language to my own emotions and experiences and expanded my horizons outside of what I was taught as a child. I learned that I was reaching outwards for external validation in places that I tried to make myself fit and constantly questioned myself. I learned how to forgive myself for things I’ve said and done and to do better and be better, not only for myself but for future generations – for my little nephews, for my future kids. I want to leave my own legacy of compassion and authenticity, normalizing mental health for everyone around me. And I am breaking generational cycles in my family by doing so. I oftentimes can’t have conversations about mental health in my family and I’ve learned to build a community around me where I feel safe to be myself, where I can continue to feel nurtured and supported, and all the while learning to grow into myself and expand in as many ways as possible.

Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
Absolutely not. As a therapist, I tend to remind my clients that it’s easier said than done. Change is hard. It takes time to learn not only how to shift our mindsets and patterns of coping but learning to be gentle with ourselves throughout the ups and downs is the most challenging part. The feeling that we’re regressing is valid but it does not mean we’re not making progress. Healing is not linear.

I had to learn how to be gentle with myself and challenge myself to grow and expand in so many ways – from learning about my own mental health and reminding myself that I’m a human first and therapist second… to unlearning my own implicit biases and the ways I perpetuate them in my personal life so I can challenge myself to be a better clinician. I have become more aware of my own mental, emotional, and physical capacity and have had to learn that rest is productive and to pursue joy is an act of resistance. My self-care and support system keep me grounded.

Appreciate you sharing that. What should we know about SeaPort Family Therapy?
On this journey, I have done much learning and unlearning as I have grown to understand my own privileges and implicit biases and how systems of oppression function in the world we live in today. Throughout the pandemic and social justice movements, I have become passionate about destigmatizing mental health and creating more awareness around harmful labels and narratives. As a therapist and speaker, I aspire to create spaces of healing, connection, and safety for marginalized communities, and I have a vested interest in supporting BIPOC communities through experiences of racial trauma.

As a therapist, I offer both couples and individual therapy. I support couples and individuals with generational and racial trauma, infidelity and substance/alcohol use. I also inspire all my clients to find their voice and learn how to show up as their authentic, genuine selves in all areas of their lives. I am committed to providing quality, culturally competent, and trauma-informed care to people of all genders, races, ethnicities, socioeconomic backgrounds, body sizes, abilities, spiritual belief systems, and sexual orientations.

As a speaker, I provide speaking engagements and workshops focused on mental health, social justice, generational trauma, racial trauma, and AAPI/BIPOC-related challenges. I have spoken at several conferences and panels, including Asian Mental Health Collective’s ‘TransformASIAN’ Conference, EM Collective’s Asian Mental Health Conference, and ECAASU’s ‘Turning the Tide’ Conference, to discuss mental health and the impacts of coping with transgenerational and racial trauma. Most recently, I have presented for the California Association of Marriage & Family Therapists (CAMFT) to teach other therapists how to provide culturally competent and trauma-informed care for the AAPI community. I also offer consultations to organizations seeking to be more informed about Diversity, Equity and Inclusion (DEI) issues.

What matters most to you?
Destigmatizing mental health… Dismantling systems of oppression and encouraging practices that promote diversity, equity, inclusion, and social justice… Being a cycle breaker in my family, healing legacies of pain and transforming generations after me… Even if I create shifts for people around me, one person at a time, that’s enough for me. Change is hard, and oftentimes, we carry the weight of generations before us, not only in our families but in our society… Despite the process of going five steps forward, ten steps backward, two steps forward, change is happening and it creates a ripple effect of healing.

So I say this as a reminder to everyone and as a reminder for myself…

“You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress, simultaneously.” – Sophia Bush

Pricing:

• I offer free 20-30mins consultations to those seeking individual and couple’s therapy.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.valerieuy.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valerieuymft
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/valerie-uy/ 
• Other: https://www.valerieuy.com/events