Check Out Shazia Khan’s Story

Today we’d like to introduce you to Shazia Khan.

Hi Shazia, please kick things off for us with an introduction to yourself and your story.
When people ask me what kind of books I like to read, I often say it is the books that focus on character development. The kind of books that have no epic plot twists or shocking turns, but the one where you follow the main character as they learn lessons, discover new things about themselves and make small changes to transform their life. I would say my life story is the same as the kind of books I like to read.

My creativity is something that I discovered while living. It was only mine for many years with poetry scribbled in diaries with a little lock on it. Short stories on loose-leaf paper tied with string. Books read under a blanket fort with a flashlight in hand. My only audience was my rows of Barbie dolls and my parents. My mother says the first book I ever read on my own was a Sesame Street book in which Big Bird takes his first flight to visit Granny Bird. I was traveling to Pakistan with my parents for the first time and used that book as a manual to pack my suitcase. It was when I returned home from Pakistan after living there for two months that my mother made me read more books and write book reports to improve my written skills. I very quickly gave up on the book reports and began writing my own stories. One where Cinderella becomes an astronaut and Belle opens her own bookstore. I found other books that made my love of reading grow like Anne of Green Gables, A Little Princess and The Secret Garden.

For years, the books I read and the stories I wrote were mine alone. I was never part of any book clubs or shared any of my stories with the world. It was when I turned thirty that I began yearning for a bigger creative outlet and a sense of community. I was tired of reading and writing being a solitary hobby. I wanted to discuss the books I was reading and have someone to talk to about writing. That is when I joined “Bookstagram” and found my people. I named my account Khanlibrary and began sharing book reviews and through this experience, found friends to discuss books with at length. I began talking to authors about their writing process and found fellow writers who challenged me to write more. It took years to get to the place where I was comfortable being seen and heard. To believe that there is a space in the world for the stories I want to tell. Today, writing and reading exist all around me. I have stories that have been shared and a completed book ready to go out into the world and into the hands of readers.

Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
I once equated success with being on a bestsellers list and then eventually with just having a book published. I spent a lot of time thinking I was not really a writer because I did not have a book out in the world. I called myself an aspiring writer even though I had dozens of written stories and journals filled with poetry stashed away in my room. I referred to writing as a hobby because it was hard to even find time to consistently write while I was doing twelve-hour shifts as a nurse at the hospital. Who was I to call myself a writer when I barely had time to write? My book was still in its drafting phase, and it seemed like I was perpetually stuck in a loop of edits and writer’s block. I felt like an imposter and the finish line seemed so far away. I was discouraged and tried to give up. The few months away from writing left me feeling listless. I had to dig deep for the reason why writing had suddenly become such a monumental task that resulted in being blocked and unhappy. When did the very thing that brought me comfort turn into something that made me want to cry in a dark corner? There comes a time when we need to be honest with ourselves and look at the thing we are trying so desperately to outrun. I was afraid of failure. I was scared that my book would be rejected and hated by readers.

There was another truth behind all this. I missed writing terribly. It was when I shed the pressure of releasing my work into the world and began writing for myself again that I redefined what success meant for me. Success was all those years of writing and never giving up. It was every time a new idea came to me in the middle of my day as I rushed to scribble it down on napkins or scraps of paper. It was the writing workshops I took to improve my skills. The countless discussions I had with authors and the knowledge they shared with me. Each time a character began feeling real to me. Every poem I wrote that healed a little part of me that was broken. The finished drafts I held in my hands. The way I would make sense of the world around me by writing about it. That content feeling of escaping into the playground of my imagination. Becoming my own biggest fan was difficult but it happened once I adopted my own definition of success. I realized I was already successful. I was already a writer and that was the moment when my writing became more authentic. There was no holding me back once I stepped out of my own way.

Thanks – so what else should our readers know about your work and what you’re currently focused on?
My main goal right now is to find a home for my completed manuscript. It took me five years to write my book and I want to dedicate the coming year to sending out my query letter to agents. It has been in my nature to work on multiple goals at the same time and I will be working on other ways to grow as well.

I once had a friend who called me a grasshopper. She said I was always jumping from one thing to another, doing too many things at the same time and never finding happiness wherever I landed. At the time I was starting a new job as a clinic nurse, working on my Bookstagram account, revamping my book blog, writing poetry and editing another draft of my novel. I was booking flights and practicing my photography skills. I was having food adventures around my city, exploring bookstores and attending book events. I was known to be a pediatric nurse who kept moving to different units. I was the bookworm who read too many books. I was the writer whose book seemed to be taking too long to complete. I was the foodie who was always eating out in restaurants. I was the creative who posted pictures of books with colourful backdrops. Being called a grasshopper made me reflect on why I was doing all these things.

Should a person really be specializing in all these things? Is there a limit to how much we should be doing? Deep down, I knew my truth. The thing that I was chasing was not happiness but growth. I am always on a quest to learn more and improve my skills. I want to be a nurse who has a wealth of knowledge to make appropriate assessments and advocate for my patients. I want to be a writer who does not shy away from vulnerability and being seen. I want to be a poet who writes about the lessons learned with each passing year. I want to be a reader who champions underrated books that celebrate diversity. I want to be a person who captures beauty with pictures, words, and moments. I want to be the explorer who travels to great lengths but also discovers new things about myself. Growth comes from being outside of your comfort zone and the challenges and fears that come with doing this are immense, but the lessons learned are priceless. I guess you can still call me grasshopper exploring all the things and places that bring me joy. The only difference is that I’m ready to share more of the things I love with the world. It may look like I am untethered and searching for a place to call home but in truth, it is about making a home wherever I go.

What matters most to you? Why?
Growing up, I lived with my parents and my grandparents. We were a small family, introverted by nature and always in our little nooks doing the things we loved. I would sometimes catch my grandmother sitting by the window with her flowy scarf on her head, looking at me affectionately. If eyes are a portal to a soul, you would only find love in hers. She would watch me in those quiet moments when I would be reading as if she was soaking up each detail before she left us. Family was everything to her and I know she passed this value onto me. In a world with so much uncertainty, I can always count on my family to be my anchor. That is why I always seek growth because the roots of my family run deep and keep me grounded. It all comes back to my family. I tell myself that I must become my own biggest fan and stop worrying about what other people will think of my work. How could I forget that I already have the biggest fans who have been cheering me on from the moment I picked up a pen and began writing. When I write, I think about my family and hope that my words will honour them. I push the fear aside and dig deep for the courage to bring my art to life and hope that it will make my family proud. As I hold the completed manuscript of my book in my hands, I know that it is no coincidence that family is a big theme in the fictional world I created. They inspire me to step out from the sidelines and into the light.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://khanlibrary.blog/
• Instagram: @khanlibrary