Check Out Chris Mollica’s Story

Today we’d like to introduce you to Chris Mollica.

Hi Chris, we’re thrilled to have a chance to learn your story today. So, before we get into specifics, maybe you can briefly walk us through how you got to where you are today?
I am an artist. I think I was before I had the words to convey it or the skills to show it. I sought connection, to be known, not in a famous way, but in a witnessed way. Coming from a boisterous family, one of considerable personalities, I was uncertain how to give voice to my thoughts, to get out of myself.

Back to the Future was a gateway drug. Oh, to witness the reality of a time-traveling car! Eighty-eight miles per hour, the speed of escape and possibility and destiny. As a kid, I was always creating, drawing, sculpting epic narratives with Legos, and scripting movies in my mind. Sharing, I was more timid, contorting thoughts for public consumption and striving for perfection to calibrate a delicate and deliberate version of myself I wanted people to perceive. That shit is exhausting.

College helped break the veneer. Immersion in a world of varying ideas pushed me towards a center that didn’t constantly steer the ship. I wrote and performed. I was loved too much. I loved too much. I traveled. I escaped the rhythms and structures I knew, and it made me new.

In another life, I formed a theater group in New York City with friends. At the time, I worked at the Fulton Fish Market alongside my father in the middle of the night and spent my days auditioning and making artistic magic with my friends. I wish I could tell Chris to enjoy that moment more, but that is a fool’s errand. Those pursuits didn’t pan out to a capital A answer to all that was missing in me, so I moved out west.

Four years into living in Los Angeles, an offhand remark from a coworker made me realize I’d been living in a profound depression. I spent nearly 27 years telling myself that I could be happy once I reached a goal that, upon closer examination, was abstract and empty. I was neglecting my literal life as it was happening, living as if there were winners and I was one of the losers. I started to be honest, first with myself and then with others. What did I really want from my life?

On the surface, it didn’t go great. I upset people who were comfortable with my old patterns, with my hiding, with my ability to make myself small or hold their space to the detriment of my own mental well-being. It was a solitary period, one of self-reflection, but not lonely. I got to know and appreciate myself. I meditated, went for runs, and made myself dinners. A lot of eggs, to be honest. I ate a lot of eggs. I challenged myself to be vulnerable always. To show up for myself as myself. That shit is exhausting. Yet, unlike hiding oneself, accepting one’s truth is rewarding. Possibility lives in an open hand.

I fell in love again, or I should say I loved someone unselfishly. I loved with no goal in mind, with no promise to be had. I loved to love. Happily, she felt the same. Feels the same. It was the last step to destroying my dreams. These days, side by side with a person I adore, I attempt to live my days more mindfully.

It’s a process, one with no end and no perfecting. No goal. My days are generally joyful. I make art with people I love and live in the experience of it, the joy of creating. I have a home, a place I feel safe and appreciated. Somehow in the middle of tearing down ideas and narratives and unrelenting aimless ambition, I unearthed an authentic self I’d always dreamed of, one that wasn’t curated or manipulated. I show up as Chris. Honestly, vulnerable, open, eager to learn, and willing to fail. That shit is exhausting, but I promise, I’m trying my best. I’m trying my best to show up right now. To tell a story of not telling stories.

We all face challenges, but looking back would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
I wouldn’t call it smooth. I’m prone to darker moods, but learning to lean into those instead of pushing against them has helped immensely. It’s Rumi’s Guest House. Greet all your feelings warmly, let them in your house, and allow them to trash the f*ck*ng place. Rumi says it more poetically, of course.

Perhaps my biggest fight is with the boxes and definitions you sign up for when you become a part of the human race. It’s the absolute worst. When you’re brought into the world, it’s all feelings and love with absolutely no bounds. Like spatially, everything blends together. Then life brings you down to earth, builds walls, names you, tags you. Society does it. Time does it. Your parents do a number. Everyone’s parents do a number. I might be doing a number. But bending and trying to fit into an idea someone has of me or conform to what’s hot doesn’t work for me. I tried it. It felt sh*tty.

Pursuing authenticity in any form is about getting away from the sounds of the outside and listening to the inner. I’m an artist because I get up daily and create. That’s not my definition, but it is a part of my practice. I’m kind because I attempt to be kind. It’s all a choice, and you’re always choosing, even when you’re just on autopilot. To be a good driver, you must always be trying to drive well. And that’s a daily thing, a minute-to-minute thing.

So, boxes are bullshit. Forget personality and embrace character. That is something you can build and contribute to. That’s your 401K. But saying all that, I’m a pansexual, cis-male, and my pronouns are he, him, and they. I’m married. I’m a parent. I pay taxes. I love making films. I love acting. I’ve got a resume I update. I like getting paid to create art. I have headshots that I look like most of the time. But I also reserve the right to change any and all of that tomorrow.

Can you tell our readers more about what you do and what you think sets you apart from others?
I am an actor, writer, editor, filmmaker. At this point, I have written two features, co-directed one, and edited five, all of which won awards for myself and many other beautiful people involved. Happily, you can find them all on a streaming platform near you.

I’ve acted in a great deal more on the big screen, small screen, and smallest screen. Maybe you caught me in a commercial (fun Dad!) or a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it TV guest spot (tiny hatted cowboy in Westworld). For the past ten years or so, I have thrived in the independent film world, which has been artistically satisfying and joyful. Generally, in that space, films are getting made because the desire is sincerely there. It’s blood, sweat, and tears, and as much money as you can scrounge together. That’s my jam.

Collaborations are truly what I treasure in the work. I’ve teamed up with thrilling artists on both sides of the camera. Actors, directors, DPs, and producers who not only raised my game but taught me new ways of approaching the work. I’ve made lifelong friends, like text everyday friends, on these productions. It becomes clear that it’s not simply a matter of talent that creates a “star.” So much of this life is luck and timing.

Personally, what I think I’ve developed through a combination of empathy, a love of film, and a solid work ethic is an understanding of the story someone is trying to tell. This is not a forceful thing. I don’t guide every project. I’d never claim to know best. But I can get a feeling, an understanding of what someone is trying to reach for. I’ve applied this in my acting and editing to great effect. I always loved reading Roger Ebert’s film reviews. He said he would try to review the movie a filmmaker was making as opposed to a review of what the filmmaker should have done instead. I try to approach my work through this lens. How can I aid this story? What does it need from me? How can I help it come across?

Do you have any advice for those looking to network or find a mentor?
Let me know if anyone has any advice. I’ve never had a mentor. I’m totally open to one. How’s that work? Should I list my likes and dislikes? Am I coming off as too eager?

Jokes aside, I’ve had people whom I’ve admired and connected with, but I’ve never had a true protégée-mentor relationship. I do hope that’s in my future.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.chrismollica.com
• Instagram: @chrismollica
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/DinosaurVanDinosaur
• Other: https://vimeo.com/chrismollica

Image Credits
Maryam Moradi Thomas Dolan-Gavitt Nate Myers