Meet Candyse McDonald

I am an author of two published books. My first book was called No Never Alone.  My second and most recent book is a story of overcoming two cancer journeys (Stage 3 Hodgkins and State 4 Non-Hodgkins lymphoma).  The book is called “Go Tell Your Father.”  It is a story about my village, my reflections of doubt, fear, faith, and the marathon of how I was able to resist death.  While on the brink of death I was confronted with a process to choose someone to be an advance directive.  This person would decide whether I would live or die, which was very hard to handle when the doctor came to me and my family about the decision.  I kept hearing in my head; Psalm 23:4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me… My comfort was knowing that death was just a shadow and had no impact on my mindset about living and I chose life.  My mother the head of my village put index cards on the walls all around the house with scriptures promoting healing for me to accept and meditate on.   “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.”  Another favorite scripture was proverbs 18:21 that I found very comforting when the doctors from both cancer journeys would say, “We can’t promise you another day of living.” I told the doctors, it is okay, do what you can and watch God bring me through.

I am grateful for life.  I saw many of my friends pass away. They had a victory that looked different from mine; no more chemo, pain, or having to wonder if they could endure any more procedures. I am blessed to share my story and recognize that all of what happened to me made me who I am.  I had the pleasure much later as an intern chaplain to enter rooms and experience the various emotions that patients shared with me as a chaplain.  Sickness doesn’t discriminate and often happens to people from all walks of life. I was visited by death several times, but I believed I had no copyright on death.  For some people, many reject death and long for more time and others may greet death like a friend they long to see again.

As an Author, I was compelled by God to call my most recent book; “Go Tell Your Father.” In the book, I share how my father passed away from cancer. My Mother told me after my Dad died to go into my room and ask God all the questions I needed answered. I relied on this practice throughout my journeys, and it was super beneficial in saving my life. For every battle, I learned to go tell my Heavenly Father.

It wasn’t a smooth road, the obstacles were extremely hard, painful, and often I wondered what was coming next. Many surgeries, blood transfusions, chemo, physical therapy, and isolation when my blood cells were too low. Isolation was necessary at times to protect my immune system, but many times I felt like a prisoner. It hurt when I couldn’t see my family when my blood cells were too low, although for my own safety. Medications that helped in so many ways also had many side effects that almost killed me or would give me nightmares. The groggy feeling and blurred perception totally required my village of family and friends who kept great records of how much meds I was taking. I couldn’t always remember what I took or when, but my family was good at keeping records. I had many complications from the medication, such as throwing up, constipation, my hair falling out, insomnia, being a fall risk, and many other things. My obstacles were easy to focus on, but I focused on the bigger picture which was operation live. The flood of interruptions from infections, pneumonia, and doubting whether I wanted to continue this process daily. I opted to immerse myself with steps requiring me to live. I read the Bible, listened to inspirational testimonies of cancer patients, and I read books about cancer survivors. My second journey was way more intense despite having already having cancer before. This bumpy road had many struggles along the way, and I constantly had great comfort in knowing that God was with me and communicating with me. My faith that God would bring me through the storms was ever present.

I am an author, poet, minister, and advocate for those in everyday life who often need suggestions about navigating through what challenges they face and opportunities that come their way.  My passion is reading and writing poetry and stories. I am currently working on another book about the relationship of Black people and America. I received my degree in School of Theology and an Associate Degree in Child Development (emphasis in Education). The emphasis I took at Fuller Theological Seminary was recovery. This is a challenging subject with such a variety of things that people attempt to recover from. For example, the challenges of moving to another town and starting over to someone who has experienced the abuse of power from leaders. I specialize in learning daily as a leader to listen and strive to understand what each person shares.

As a minister/facilitator of my women’s group called “Souls Desire”. I walk alongside many women who come together virtually once a month to embrace the freedom to follow healthy desires of their soul. They richly blessed me, and I have been known by them to be an encouragement and remind them that it is never too late to start pursuing what is on their heart. We mutually glean from one another and cheer for each other.

In recognizing my weakness, this not only gives me the opportunity to seek God but helps me connect with many people who know more than me and are willing to share their knowledge and resources for me to be a better leader that can also follow.

I believe what often sets me apart from others is just the effort I make to use the chance to consult God about my decision-making. I truly feel that everyone has an inner compass, but sometimes we can let the compass fade away because we don’t take the time to follow what is within us. There is a uniqueness in everyone, making what may set me apart uniquely available to all. Allowing me to gently remind those who ask me how to consult God for instructions. I tell them to take the opportunity to be still, quiet, and receptive to your inner manual. At times this has been even hard for me, and I have often gotten instructions from God in my dreams. I also say learn yourself and then you can trust the instructions within.

The crisis has affected us all in different ways. How has it affected you and any important lessons or epiphanies you can share with us?
I learned a lot because during both cancer journeys, my village was able to see me. Visitors were key to my mental health and recovery. Witnessing others who couldn’t see their loved ones was extremely hard during covid. It made me more grateful for the medical staff, family, and friends that were able to be in contact with me.

I remember when my blood cells were low and during that time, I wore a mask for my own protection of my immune system. The routine made connecting over the phone, videos, letters, and cards which gave my journey more meaning. The world felt like it stopped for a while. The pandemic had a similar feeling. I had deep discussions, irritations, and laughter that derives from that period of time. The need for space even while sharing a space and the need for those I hadn’t seen, but strongly desired to visit.  Creativity in many developed in people and many began to find their entrepreneur side and took time to show companies they could be dedicated and effective virtually.  My Souls Desire Group became virtual and yet we learned to personalize our meeting even though we weren’t in person.

Uncertainty can welcome fear, but what you concentrate on can redirect your attention to what is vital for surviving yet being hopeful is helpful to the purpose in this life.