Today we’d like to introduce you to Emily Van Citters.
Emily, we appreciate you taking the time to share your story with us today. Where does your story begin?
The first show I did that I actually remember was when I was three. It was my first taste of what it was like to perform for an audience. I was a sequin-bedazzled blue and green fish. No real-life experience has ever felt as exhilarating to me as performing on a stage for an audience– the “audience” at age three, of course, being the parents of ten little girls. I was very shy at that age and easily embarrassed by even the smallest things, feeling like everyone was always watching me. But ironically enough, having all eyes on me while I was “on stage” is where I learned that I feel most comfortable. As I matured, I realized I needed to use the confidence I felt on stage to my advantage and the numerous performance opportunities I had with my home studio, Pasadena Civic Ballet, are where I really grew as an artist. I could be so many things while still being me. I could be the clever Cheshire Cat in Alice in Wonderland, optimistic Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, sweet Clara in The Nutcracker, and even princess Cinderella. I learned that yes, there are certain traits that are critical to certain characters, but what’s more important is what a person brings to the character. That is where the magic happens and is part of what I really think makes an artist: the blending of the medium–in my case, ballet–with the user’s interpretation.
The ballet company I grew up in–Pasadena Civic Ballet–deserves a big shout-out here. Not only did they encourage my love of acting within the company, but they themselves were also all about getting everyone into the storytelling “mode” and loved to add humor, props, and various other flourishes for dramatic effect when appropriate. They were so innovative and creative that when Covid hit, they even built an outdoor studio where we danced with masks for two years. Because of that outdoor studio, they pulled off both the Nutcracker and The Wizard of Oz in the parking lot of the San Gabriel Civic Auditorium. If my studio hadn’t created these opportunities, I am certain that I would not have been able to keep my motivation over Zoom. And while I don’t want to say that I would have quit, I don’t think I would have maintained the same love for ballet. We had multiple shows on those outdoor stages and the fact that I was able to keep performing during covid was truly a blessing and I’m so grateful to PCB for that.
Another silver lining to come from the whole Covid situation was getting to learn from talented professionals like Petra Conti and Eris Nezha from Los Angeles Ballet. At that time, they were both principals with LAB, but because of Covid, they had extra time, and through a connection with the directors at PCB, they started teaching at our outdoor studio. I began taking private lessons with them, and something about the way they taught just made sense to me. I think it was the fact that they shared the same passion I had for wanting to tell a story correctly. Petra and Eris were highly nuanced, expected a lot, and helped me to mature as an actress with my dancing. They taught me how to really understand the character– how doing a step with your head slightly up or slightly down can portray two completely different characters. And, as I mentioned before, they pushed me to add my own take on a character. They emphasized the importance of how you present yourself to the world, not just while you’re in class or on stage, but also outside the studio just going about your everyday life. Every day I am grateful for having been mentored by not only one, but two principal dancers, both of whom have performed at some of the world’s most incredible theaters with some of the world’s best dancers, because I know that all they have learned from those places and experiences they poured into me.
I think a story can often convey more about the truth than actual reality can–like a poem. The dancers who have most inspired me along the way have not necessarily been the most technically proficient or the most perfect-looking. The ones who inspire me most have been the ones who have stage presence and can act–the ones the audience is most eager to watch on stage not only because they can dance but because they are the most compelling and soulful in their interpretation of the truth of the story you came to see performed. I aspire to this myself and, of course, would also like to be considered “technically proficient”–as icing on the cake.
At age 19, I am now in a trainee program with Ballet Idaho in Boise, having opted out of college, so that I can put all of my focus on this craft and passion called ballet. Will I have a career out of it? I don’t know, but I do know that I am giving it my best shot and that there are people out there who wish me well in my pursuit of art as a living. For that alone I am eternally grateful, for where would the world be without the artists?
Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
One of the biggest struggles for me has been my relationship with my body. I’m not flat-chested and I have curves. I have a pretty normal body for someone my age, but you have to remember that dancers spend eight-plus hours a day looking at themselves in a mirror wearing a leotard and tights, trying to perfect every line and movement. When you dance there are a million things going through your mind: “Pull up, shoulders down, ribs in, feet flat on the floor, squeeze your inner thighs, support your arm, pelvis forward, back straight,…” I could go on. Your mind is constantly thinking about what your body is doing, what your body is not doing, and what you look like while doing it. Not to mention, you are also thinking about what everyone else in the room is doing, not doing, and what they look like doing it. I didn’t really care about what I looked like until I started going to summer intensive auditions and noticed what everyone around me looked like. I am grateful that my home studio created a very healthy environment with not a lot of emphasis on what a ballet dancer “should” look like, so I was not used to being around people whose home studios did not have that same environment. Even now it’s still difficult not to compare what I look like to the people around me. It’s definitely something I am trying to unlearn.
Thanks for sharing that. So, maybe next you can tell us a bit more about your work?
I must admit that, while I have never been the most tenacious of readers as a teenager, I do love a good story–especially the kind found in whimsical children’s books, and I think what I especially love about dance is the telling of a story–only without words. I also like a good challenge and think that the interpretive elements of ballet specifically are right up there with a good plot line. I was lucky enough to be exposed to fine art early on in my life because my dad is in animation. My exposure to old cartoons and animated movies definitely had an influence on my initial affinity toward storytelling and watching him draw in his studio has always been inspiring. This, I suppose, makes sense when I add it all up in my head because, were anyone to critique my dancing, I guarantee my marks would be higher for acting and interpretation than for technique. As I mentioned, while I can be very shy and reserved with friends and family, I gain confidence on the stage. I see dance as a form of nonverbal communication–fascinating and beautiful– probably because it reflects the old cliche that “actions speak louder than words.” I love to connect with an audience, making my passions of a good story, nuanced drama, and artful acting my personal “trifecta.”
Is there a quality that you most attribute to your success?
I think the most important quality for success, not necessarily just for me, but for a lot of dancers out there is resilience. Dancers are some of the strongest people, both physically and mentally, that I have ever met. Even though I love what I do, it’s almost never easy, and the only way to keep going as a dancer is to get right back up when you’ve been knocked down.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: @emilyvancitters
Image Credits
Melissa O’Gara
Edith Tyebkhan
