Today we’d like to introduce you to Laura Berner Taylor.
Hi Laura, thanks for sharing your story with us. To start, maybe you can tell our readers some of your backstory.
My family moved around while I was growing up. We went from Denver to Calgary to Bartlesville, Oklahoma, where we ended up staying until I finished high school. My mom signed me up for this after school community theatre program there, I think in an effort to help me make friends, and the first role I had was Scrooge’s dog in “A Christmas Carol” (it’s not a character found in the original cannon, but I would argue it’s important and adds layers to Scrooge’s journey). When I was on stage, performing my heart out as that dog, I did something that made the audience laugh, and in that moment I thought, “This is it. There’s no greater feeling than this.” And I went on thinking that all I wanted to do in life was to be funny for people. But as I got older, I started to get self-conscious, especially after people started calling me “weird.” I tried desperately to fit in and kept searching for what my identity was until I had heart surgery in high school for a condition I’ve had all my life. And because that surgery got me so much attention –even got me nominated for prom queen that year– my heart condition became my identity. I thought it made me interesting. It went on like that for years, trying to be interesting, trying to be liked, even while I pursued acting in college. I romanticized the possibility of dying tragically young and got myself heavily into drugs and alcohol, thinking it was making me some brilliant, tortured artist. In my early 20s, I had to get sober because I was ruining friendships and relationships and job opportunities and my health with substance abuse.
Once I got sober, my whole life changed. After so many years of numbing myself, I was actually starting to feel everything in my life, and I was feeling it on a much deeper level. It was overwhelming because it’s like I had to face all the pain I wasn’t dealing with and experience it all at once. It made me realize though, that I could do anything. Acting, for me, changed with my sobriety. What I wanted out of it changed. Before, I used it as a way to feel validated, to get people to like me. But I realized that what it truly gives you is a deep connection to your humanity. Not only does it force you to explore yourself and your behavior, it gives you a greater source of empathy for everyone. And that’s way more fulfilling than the temporary high of people just paying attention to you.
When the pandemic hit, I had been living as an actor in Chicago for several years. Like many people, when things came to a screeching halt in 2020, I assessed where my life was going. I felt like I was playing everything small and had always been afraid of acting in LA like it was this thing beyond my reach or beyond my abilities as an actor. But obviously, that was just something I was telling myself because we all have a voice, a uniqueness, an individuality to offer that is so worthwhile to be shared. So here I am, living in LA as of January 2022! Hiiiiiiiii LA! Let’s connect and be friends!
Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
I don’t think it’s ever a smooth road. Aside from being an addict and having to still choose sobriety every day (and FYI, I’ve relapsed many times), I have to continuously work on my self-worth. So often, I don’t think I’m enough, and I know we can all relate to that. Even for this interview, I panicked at first, thinking, “oh no! I’m not newsworthy enough for that! I have nothing to say!” But it’s easy to forget how much power we have, how incredible each of our minds are, how much light is within all of us. Just the fact that we exist and have the capacity to connect with another human being is more than enough. That’s all life is. Connecting with each other.
Thanks – so what else should our readers know about your work and what you’re currently focused on?
I’m an actor, through and through. For a long time, I felt shame admitting that because there’s always a follow up question when you tell people you’re an actor– “What have I seen you in?” or “Oh, so you want to be famous?” And it’s almost as if you have to justify your life choices to everyone you meet because it’s hard for people to imagine you having any other career than like, Zendaya. But one big thing that has really sunk in for me this past year is that You Get To Be You. You do not have to do what other people want you to do. We care about what other people think because we want to control how people perceive us so they will love us. In reality though, we can’t control who loves us unconditionally. That is their choice. And that’s a really liberating thought. Becoming aware of and changing your thought patterns can make such a huge difference in your quality of life. Our mind controls our nervous system, and this whole thing is a nervous system game. If you can control your nervous system, my god, you can do anything.
What matters most to you? Why?
I think what matters most to me, and this has come into focus more since the pandemic, is loving other people. Because I think if we can keep reminding each other that we all deserve to be here, that we all have purpose, and that we are all connected, the better off we’ll be as a whole. This entire interview turned out to be a lot more sentimental than I thought it would. I GUESS I’M IN A SENSITIVE PLACE RIGHT NOW.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.laurabernertaylor.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bernertaylor/?hl=en
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/bernertaylor
- Other: imdb.me/laurabernertaylor
