Today we’d like to introduce you to Nisha Patel.
Nisha, we appreciate you taking the time to share your story with us today. Where does your story begin?
Brown Girl Trauma started as a passion project in July 2020 as we were going through a pandemic. It was intended to create a safe space for adult children of dysfunctional families as many were trying to navigate difficult and toxic relationships during quarantine.
As I shared content on social media, I realized my narrative mimicked the story of many South Asians who grew up in dysfunctional households and sought a space to heal. During undergraduate school, I was fortunate to find a South Asian therapist on campus who understood what I was going through and helped me work through my dysfunctional behavior and family patterns I had inherited. Shortly after she retired, I worked with two white therapists who initially understood what I was feeling, but I had reached a point where they could not understand the cultural context of my narrative.
As I went off to graduate school in 2017, I always knew I wanted to create a space and resources for my community where people felt seen and validated. Today this community has grown to over 60,000 people reaching several countries. It has quickly become the first and largest mental health and wellness community for those who come from dysfunctional families. I get daily DMs from people who find healing in the fact that they are not alone in their experiences and that they too relate to the internalized shame, guilt, abandonment, and denial that others expressed on this space.
Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
Whenever we choose to talk about something historically taboo, there are bound to be some struggles along the way. I grew up in a chaotic, uncredible environment surrounded by alcoholism, abuse, and untreated mental illness- all taboo topics in my community. We are drilled with the three unspoken rules of a dysfunctional family – don’t feel, don’t trust, and don’t talk because of which I felt alone in my experiences. Brown Girl Trauma allowed me and thousands of others to realize that it was okay to break the unspoken rules and talk about their feelings and experiences. It also allowed me to research further the topic of intergenerational trauma and how it can be passed down from one generation to the next.
What I share is extremely raw, extremely direct, and some may not be ready to hear it. Still, I also recognize that normalizing these experiences made many go through life feeling incredibly alone. I had come to understand- generational healing meant voicing the generational trauma and destigmatizing mental health. The biggest struggle has been to help the older generation realize that this space is not about getting revenge or belittling people. It is about understanding that we are all children of trauma, and generational healing is possible. It just starts with having these conversations.
Thanks for sharing that. So, maybe next you can tell us a bit more about your work?
I am currently a therapist-in-training at a private practice in the Midwest, where I am completing a one-year fellowship in CBT, DBT, ACT, treatments for trauma, and many other evidence-based practices. My work with Brown Girl Trauma is mainly known for family and generational trauma within the South Asian community- a space that quickly opened up to everyone that could relate. It is the first and largest mental health and wellness community that focuses on family dysfunction and generational trauma. I call the community members ‘cycle breakers’ where we have conversations about reflecting on our behavioral patterns, seeking therapy, navigating our identities, voicing our experiences, and living an authentic life that is true to who we are. People relate to the narrative of being a cycle breaker. Something I am incredibly proud of creating.
As I take the next steps to continue building on my clinician skills as a mental health professional, I will continue building and bringing resources for this community. Many people do not have access to therapy, and social media has allowed resources into the mainstream- it is not something I take lightly. I share content and monthly resources with this community who may not access this information, otherwise allowing many to start engaging in their healing journey.
Is there anything else you’d like to share with our readers?
People often ask me if I come from a dysfunctional family. My simple answer is yes, I do. However, it is important to remember that the people I grew up with were not dysfunctional people. We were all just wired with dysfunctional/unhealthy patterns. This is why I am so interested in generational trauma and healing.
It takes courage every day to show up in this space. I show up not because I like airing my dirty laundry but because I remember how lonely it felt growing up thinking I was the only one going through this. This space was created to remind those silently suffering that they are not alone. When I was at my lowest point in life, I had a support system that pulled me out of it. My hope with this page is to be that support for you. This is for you, my dear cycle breakers!
Contact Info:
- Email: [email protected]
- Website: https://browngirltrauma.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/browngirltrauma/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/browngirltrauma/
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/browngirltrauma
