We’re looking forward to introducing you to Luz Hernandez-Hidalgo. Check out our conversation below.
Luz, really appreciate you sharing your stories and insights with us. The world would have so much more understanding and empathy if we all were a bit more open about our stories and how they have helped shaped our journey and worldview. Let’s jump in with a fun one: What do you think is misunderstood about your business?
When I share my heartwork with girl moms they think that it’s not until their daughter is having big challenges or mental health struggles to act on socio-emotional tools. I come across a wide audience of girl moms who think that time will help them solve self esteem challenges or emotional bursts by saying “she will grow out of it.” I want girl moms to see that my heartwork is a preventive program that will equip their daughters with socio-emotional tools that will support them throughout their lifetime. When girls feel safe, loved, and accepted their view of the world completely shifts into a go-getter mentality to face the challenges with self compassion and kindness. It’s not about pushing through tough situations but instead acknowledge them and have that support to move through them. This is where I come in! I provide that safe space for girls to validate those emotions that might feel big and heavy. We befriend them by using mindful techniques to slowly decrease their intensity and manage them better in a social setting.
Another area where my business is misunderstood is to find a quick solution to their problem. We live in a fast paced world where we want solutions quickly and now. This is not the case when we start working with the mind and body connection as it’s a loving healing process that requires commitment and time. It’s not magic! It’s building a healthy relationship with oneself by understanding the patterns that are in replay mode and break them with mindset tools both in the mind and body. It is like when you go to the gym to build up muscle, the same is for our mind and body where we need to work on it daily. When girl moms come to my program, I let them know that it does take time and the important thing is that the girls are open to working on themselves by practicing the socio-emotional tools on a daily basis. The girls need to be willing to work on themselves allowing for the transformation to take place in each session.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
I am a girl mentor in the SELA Community, who provides socio-emotional tools for girls aged 11-15. During the pandemic, I found myself with a drive to support the girls during the mental health crisis from being on a lockdown. Girls started experiencing big emotions leaving them feeling isolated and disconnected. Their world crumbled to pieces when their activities shut down, which caused an inner turmoil of feelings. This led me to take action and start teaching about socio-emotional tools where the girls felt safe to express their big emotions and learn how to cope with them through mindful activities.
My programs are vital for the girls to understand the emotional realm of feelings by allowing them to pass through. I offer simple mindful tools such as breathing, movement, creativity, and joy. The best part about the program is that the girls get to create an empowering craft that they take home as a reminder to keep practicing what they learned. They get to make new friends in our group settings, which allows them to see that they are not the only ones going through a similar situation. This brings them peace of mind by knowing they are not alone.
Girls want to be seen, heard, and accepted for who they are even if they are too loud or too quiet. When a girl knows she is wonderfully made and can express herself in the world through her strengths and talents, she will thrive. It is my pleasure to create that space for them as they embark on a self discovery journey at an early age.
Okay, so here’s a deep one: Who saw you clearly before you could see yourself?
This question is very special to me because there has been a very important person in my life that made a big impact on who I am today. My grandma Isabel was my confident and safe space when I felt unsettled with challenges. Many of the times I wouldn’t share what was happening in my life because I didn’t want her to worry or cause any distress as she was in her 90’s. But she knew what words I needed to hear each time I visited her. She called me “Florecita,” which means little flower in Spanish.
She had a warm smile for me that lifted up my spirits. She saw me as a kind, loving, and confident person. She was very proud of who I was becoming as a woman, wife, and mother. I recall her saying “riega la plantita,” which meant to water the plant when she would give me advice for my marriage. Her words made me feel like everything was going to be ok even during the hardships of daily life.
Her confidence in me planted that seed of self esteem I needed when I was growing up. Her unconditional love just made me feel accepted and a sense of belonging. I am very grateful to have had the opportunity to have a person like my grandma.
I strongly believe that every girl needs that person that sees them for who they are and nourishes that potential to thrive. If you have a daughter, I hope that person is you because it will make her world a whole safer place.
What have been the defining wounds of your life—and how have you healed them?
As the healing process is continuous, I find myself ready and open to share some of the defining wounds in my life. One that is prominent came at a young age when my parents decided to move to the US from Mexico City. I was a tender age of 12 years old when I came to the US with both of my parents and brother, who was a year younger than me. We lived with family members until my parents found a job and settled in them.
We lived in a studio apartment with my aunt making it five of us. in a crowded place. My brother and I had bump beds and my parents a sofa bed with a limited space for my aunt’s bed. There was only one bathroom which we all took turns to use throughout the day. Now looking back, I feel this was the most uncomfortable situation for my aunt who was single and we were intruding on her small space. But I am forever grateful for her kindness and support.
This transition caused a lot of anxiety in me because I had to attend a school where only three students spoke Spanish and my teacher didn’t know any Spanish. I had to make new friends and you bet I made those three students that spoke Spanish my friends. The difficult part of this experience was that my parents also had a tough time adjusting. To keep us safe they prohibited us from a lot of normal things kids should be doing; like playing outdoors with the neighbors, participating in events, attending gatherings, and feeling safe in this new place.
Both of my parents working two jobs and getting home late made it difficult to speak about what we were feeling inside. My anxiety got so bad that I started getting rashes all over my body. I never knew it was because of my stress levels and not knowing how to manage everything I was feeling inside. Now that I know about socio-emotional intelligence I can see that my mind and body had a toll from this event.
My brother and I raised ourselves when my parents were absent from work. This caused constant physical fights between us and arguments that ended really badly. We didn’t know how to deal with the anger we had deep inside which was bottling up from everything we were not allowed to do as children, who just wanted to be outdoors and play. I still remember when we used to sneak out to play with the neighbors looking at the time to get indoors before my mom arrived from work, since she was the first one to get home. I was so scared that she would catch us outside and get spanked.
My mom would only tell us that it was for our own safety to stay indoors after school. My parents never asked how we were feeling nor if we were ok with all of these sudden changes. It was always a “no” when I asked for permission with no explanation. It got to the point that I would tense up when I had to ask for permission afraid of what my dad would say.
When I started attending Middle School, I had another episode that left a scar on me. During my 8th grade English class I was asked to read aloud as we were doing popcorn reading. When I had to read a classmate made fun of my accent which caused me to stop speaking in English. My self esteem was hurt by this experience because I lived as if it was true and didn’t tell my parents until I was a young adult. My anxiety continued and this time it was with panic attacks.
I have been working on myself since I became aware that what happened to me was valid. I experienced high episodes of stress which caused the anxiety to peak at high levels putting my body on fight or flight mode. I have implemented various mindful practices to allow my body to feel safe again as when I was a child.
When I heard about the Girlife program by Melody Pourmoradi, I jumped at the opportunity to start my business by empowering girls with the socio-emotional tools. This has been part of my healing journey as I learned the skills, practiced them on myself, and started leading workshops for girls who need the support.
I learned how to pay attention to my survival mode patterns and start processing those feelings that were suppressed for so many years. I am learning to forgive myself and practice self compassion when I feel unease or nervous. It is a response that might come up but now I have the tools to manage myself. Because I see the value of this heartwork and the positive impact it has in our wellness it is why I am teaching the next generation to heal.
These two experiences marked me in different ways but I am at peace to write about them and grateful for my parents that came to this country for my brother and I to have a better future. We get to see the hard work both of my parents endured for over 25 years. I don’t take it for granted now that they are older. I am fortunate to have them living in a back house we built for them so they can have some peace of mind as they experience a well deserved retirement.
I came to the conclusion that our parents try their best with the resources they have at the time. As parents, they want their best for their children even if that means to experience sacrifices and hardships. But don’t we all experience these at some point of our lives?
Sure, so let’s go deeper into your values and how you think. What are the biggest lies your industry tells itself?
The amount of information we are consuming on a daily basis can lead to some lies about what life should be like. Our girls are constantly seeing disempowering messages on social media about how they should look like or how their life should be. This distorted perception because we all put the best face on social media can have a toll on our girls’ mental health. The biggest lie about socio-emotional mindset is that if things are pretty on social media then all is well because that is the idea we have been seeing on our feeds. So, when girls experience something uncomfortable or different in their lives they blame themselves or start with the should’s… I should be happy, I should have more, I should be successful, I should look prettier, etc.
As parents, we have the responsibility to speak to our girls about what is real and what is not real. Manage their screen time as too much time on social media can take a toll on their wellbeing. Offer your daughter words of encouragement by showing her what a healthy relationship is in real life. Take time with your daughter to get to know her interests and strengths because as she gets older she will look for a safe space where to express herself without being judged. Wouldn’t it be awesome if you were that safe space for her?
Thank you so much for all of your openness so far. Maybe we can close with a future oriented question. What do you understand deeply that most people don’t?
In my journey of empowerment, I have come to realize that it’s not about pushing through uncomfortable experiences. Many coaches on social media talk about push through, try harder, or do it even if you are scared. But in reality that is causing more harm to your nervous system because you are not listening to what your body needs to process first in a safe environment.
The journey of healing is non-linear and can feel overwhelming at times. It’s important to acknowledge when one is going through a challenging phase by validating the uncomfortable feelings first. This is something we all try to avoid in the realm of empowerment. When a girl understands how her emotional realm works in her body, she can start choosing an emotion that feels better in this realm. It is not until she processes the feelings that are making her feel stuck or uncomfortable. We can look at this deeper in my programs by acknowledging the idea of feelings are an internal GPS letting us know what we need at the moment. Let’s befriend those uncomfortable experiences in a safe space with self compassion.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.blissfulmindscoaching.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/y.e.s.girlife/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/luz-hernandez-hidalgo-87243bb5/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/luz.hernandez.359
Image Credits
Ligia Cristina Chin
