An Inspired Chat with Dr. Lesley Tate-Gould of Newport Beach

We recently had the chance to connect with Dr. Lesley Tate-Gould and have shared our conversation below.

Lesley , a huge thanks to you for investing the time to share your wisdom with those who are seeking it. We think it’s so important for us to share stories with our neighbors, friends and community because knowledge multiples when we share with each other. Let’s jump in: What is something outside of work that is bringing you joy lately?
I oversee the gardens at my children’s schools, which brings me a tremendous amount of joy, problem-solving and inspiration. There is something sacred about witnessing children light up about putting their hands in the dirt and sampling fruits and vegetables they have grown themselves. My father and grandparents were skilled gardeners, and lately I have also been drawn toward incorporating actions into my life that connects me to my ancestors.

Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
I am a Clinical Psychologist and Somatic Experiencing Practitioner (SEP) practicing in Newport Beach, California. While I have had a small private practice since becoming licensed in 2012, I went completely on my own and launched Summon Courage in 2022. I envisioned my practice being a sacred setting for courageous people to expand beyond their default patterns and programming, some forged by attachment injuries and trauma, and boldly step forward toward more aligned, authentic living. I incorporate body-wisdom into therapeutic offerings that currently include individual and couple’s therapy, workshops and coaching.

Appreciate your sharing that. Let’s talk about your life, growing up and some of topics and learnings around that. What did you believe about yourself as a child that you no longer believe?
While I was not conscious of this as a child as often children aren’t capable of, reflecting back, I believed it essential to be perfect at everything, translating to disconnecting from showing needs to others. I was often my toughest, most stringent critic and sought out opportunities that could reflect how good, productive, capable and independent I was. However, this inhibited the developmental necessity to take risks, boldly seek out adventures and deepen into full, meaningful relationships. I had honed the adaptive art form of placating and pleasing others, often leaving me quite disconnected from myself and unable to welcome deeply intimate relationships. Today, while I still hold myself to high standards and admire aspects of this former self through discipline, organization and stewardship, I have learned to welcome the gentler, tender sides of myself. These sides allow in my natural affinity toward breathing in beauty, exploring nature and working with my hands.

What did suffering teach you that success never could?
Suffering, as I frequently tell clients has the capacity to crack you wide open. Usually, parts of you that you never thought possible emerge only through the exposure to deep suffering. As people, because the moment that we are enduring suffering can feel so palpably bad, heavy, sorrowful, we sometimes lose contact with how something with that magnitude has the potential to be a great teacher. What I know of suffering is that the lessons do not often arise while we are in the turbulence of the suffering, but rather, sometimes hours, days, months or years later. Nobody who has lived a full life looks back in that examination and connects their deepening of wisdom to moments of lightheartedness and ease. Rather, while we hold those moments like a treasure, it is in the sticky darkness of our most unpleasant moments that awaken us all, not just some of us, to a higher purpose, calling, moment to be discovered. As a mentor in my life shared, if you want to melt the wax you need to add a little heat. I do not take for granted the privilege it is to be a witness to the painful, cloaked in suffering moments of the human experience and to hold them up to the light to see what can illuminate from our darkest hours.

Next, maybe we can discuss some of your foundational philosophies and views? Where are smart people getting it totally wrong today?
I can only speak on behalf of the smart people that I professionally align with, such as therapists, coaches, psychologists and counselors, because speaking for other smart people may thrust me outside of my professional expertise. That said, where I believe smart people in the mental health world are getting wrong is the predominate belief that suffering, rupture, discomfort and the like should be avoided at all costs. What this translates to in the therapist’s office is a disturbing trend that does not afford a person the profound healing resting in their resilience and capacity for strength and post-traumatic growth. Rather, a therapeutic dynamic prioritizing coddling and affirming positions that do not challenge clients to look inward, hold deeper introspection and compassion for themselves and their fellow humans.

These short-sighted approaches do not invite a curiosity on whether there are behaviors or beliefs in the client’s life that may be contributing to their suffering. As the saying goes in Alcoholics Anonymous, everywhere you go there you are. This can unintentionally lead to the client depending wholly on the therapist, rather than their own instincts and heart-centered decision making to begin challenging the negative beliefs and behaviors that may be limiting their lives.

I have been guided by the belief that if I am doing my job well it will work to put my out of business, meaning, my clients will grow, deepen their understanding of themselves and move on. I am pleased each time one of my clients finishes their work with me, because we have both acknowledged that while our work on Earth never comes to full completion, so often once we are stretched into examining aspects of our lives, we can deepen this awareness and our growth by bringing this wisdom back into our families, places of work, faith and connection.

Okay, we’ve made it essentially to the end. One last question before you go. What is the story you hope people tell about you when you’re gone?
That she lived fully, authentically, and loved wholeheartedly. I hope people will see the love and passion I bring to my family, my work and my projects, especially in this season of my life, to my love of nature and cultivating beauty through gardening, educating on the beauty that surrounds us all if we are willing to look around while we navigate our one precious life.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://summoncourage.com
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/summoncourage
• Other: https://courageouspath.substack.com/

Image Credits
Gordon Dooley