We’re looking forward to introducing you to Felix Igori Ramos. Check out our conversation below.
Felix Igori, so good to connect and we’re excited to share your story and insights with our audience. There’s a ton to learn from your story, but let’s start with a warm up before we get into the heart of the interview. Are you walking a path—or wandering?
Wow! This is one hell of an icebreaker question. Am I walking a path or wandering? If I’m keeping it real. I think it’s both. I have the vision of the destination, however, the details on how to get there are a little murky. So, I tend to stray from the path from time to time. When I was in my 20’s ‘and 30’s I used to really hate that about myself. My lack of discipline and structure.
Now in my 40’s I’ve come to terms with who I am. Don’t get me wrong I still strive to be disciplined and structured in order to be more productive. I’m just not so abusive to myself when I stray away a little. I find that in my moments of distraction or procrastination I learn something about myself and the world. Wandering can sometimes be part of the journey. It has taught me conviction, empathy and humility. It’s taught me about my fears, how to embrace them, how to face them and erase them not through courage but through vulnerability. I born and raised on the westside of Chicago and was molded by the hoods of East LA and Huntington Park, CA. So fighting is as natural as breathing. Fighting others, myself or many times even God. But wandering has taught me that my greatest strength is in my vulnerability. I haven’t mastered that trait yet so I can be a little quick tempered from time to time. But I’ve changed a lot, and I don’t think I would have, had I solely stayed on the path.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
Hola, my name is Felix Igori Ramos I am a writer / producer / director of film. I was born and raised in Chicago but moved out to Southern California in 1991, just before the LA riots. My approach to filmmaking is one where I look to give the audience an experience as opposed to simply entertaining them. The films that have stayed with me most are the ones that speak to the human condition. Films like DO THE RIGHT THING, RAGING BULL and THE TREE OF LIFE, just to name a few, have left an indelible mark on my heart. It’s this type of conversation that I long to have with the audience. One where we can be vulnerable with each other. I provide the window into my soul and if they engage enough, perhaps they can see a small reflection of their own and possibly leave the theater, or their couch, changed. Even if just a little. That I would consider a success above anything monetary or award related. But we’ll see that type of filmmaking isn’t sought after too much these days. I still think it’s necessary though.
Okay, so here’s a deep one: Who taught you the most about work?
Great question. I’m going to say my best friend, brother in Christ, Johan. He and I met on the streets of Crenshaw Blvd. (THE SHAW!!!) in 1998. We hit it off pretty well from the start. I was 20 and pretty aimless at the time and he was 26 already married with one little girl and another on the way. His business was construction. He was a general contractor with a small business of his own. I worked with him for about 5 years. Construction is a crazy business but not unlike filmmaking. They both require vision, execution and a little madness in order to make it work. So, I watched and learned how he managed all the insanity and was educated on what not to do but also on what to do. Working with him taught me the power of honesty and integrity. It taught me the value of diligence, and the pride that comes with a job well done. It also taught me to respect the people that work with you to accomplish a vision. These lessons I took with me to set and often thought of them and him when I was directing a film. Unfortunately, he passed away in May of 2021 at the young age of 49. We had a falling out year’s prior over some bullshit and I never got to express to him what I just expressed right now. Talk to the people in your life, now.
When did you stop hiding your pain and start using it as power?
Man, I feel like I’m back in therapy right now. Oh well, let’s keep it pushin’. I would say I started in my late 30’s. I began to acknowledge my fear, my weakness and my vulnerabilities. As a Latino man you’re raised and expected to be strong and never fall apart. As much as I tried to hold it together, pieces of me were falling apart. Childhood trauma, death of my father when I was 25, almost losing my wife and newborn son during labor, best friend dying at 49 only to lose my youngest brother 6 weeks later to a homicide. I felt like crawling into a tomb and saying to hell with this life. And I did for a while, drowned myself in alcohol and physically giving up. Then in 2023 I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. I came to a crossroad within myself. Do I want to be consumed by loss? Is that who I am? Is that how I want to leave this rock. I took a deep breath and said, NOT TODAY. TODAY, I wanna give this one more shot.
I worked my ass off to lose 35 lbs. got rid of the diabetes, got into therapy, prayed like I haven’t prayed in a long time. I found my breath again. I took all the pain, depression, anxiety and no longer tried to fight it away. I allowed it to engulf me and consume me. The difference this time being I didn’t want to bear it alone. I cried out to God and trusted that He would me show the way out of the inferno. What I found was that the fire was purging off the childhood trauma, the mourning of the men in my life, the fears I have of my own mortality. And I was able to walk out of that fire better than I was before. I’m not a finished work, not by any stretch, but damn if I don’t feel like I’ve been changed in a significant way. I have more work to do. But I’m definitely taking the gains I’ve made into the challenges of life moving forward.
Next, maybe we can discuss some of your foundational philosophies and views? What’s a belief or project you’re committed to, no matter how long it takes?
I would have to say the belief that my art and voice will be heard and make an impact on our society. I’m 47 years old still chasing an 11-year old’s dream. Most people my age would probably have thrown in the towel by this point. Many times, I have given up and thrown in the proverbial towel. But, that 11-year-old in me won’t let me stay down on the mat too long. After I’ve licked my wounds, cried my tears and punched the air I always seem to hear the whisper, “Are you done? Good. Now get back up.” And I listen. The desire for money, fame, respect all that hubris is burning away in me. And all I’m left with is the desire to feel the way I felt when I saw DO THE RIGHT THING, JFK, MALCOLM X, THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST and THE TREE OF LIFE in the theatre. Enlightened, outraged, and spiritually changed. That is the dragon I’m chasing. That’s the type of cinema I long to give to the world. To take all these recorded and lived experiences and filter them through my artistic eye and voice and impart them to anyone that needs to watch and listen. I just want my time on this rock to matter. God has given me this gift, and I don’t want to squander it. It is taking me a lot longer than I expected. But now that my goals are clear to me it doesn’t matter how long it takes. All that matters is that I get there.
Okay, we’ve made it essentially to the end. One last question before you go. What is the story you hope people tell about you when you’re gone?
Damn, these are some tough questions. I honestly don’t know what they would say about me. I hope they would say that they knew they were loved by me. Family, friends, fellow filmmakers. I pray that they knew a man with genuine love for those he loved, passion for his art and a yearning to love and be loved by God. And being perfectly honest I know they also knew a selfish, stubborn, anti-social man as well. Complicated in my beliefs and values, some might say hypocritical. I can accept that. But I hope they would also say that I was a man that was constantly evolving, able to acknowledge when I was wrong and willing to ask for forgiveness when I wronged others. I hope my sons would say my father taught me how to be a strong man. I saw my father cry, and I admired him for it. I saw my father fight for what he believed in, and I admired him for it. And I saw my father lose and not fall apart and I admired him for it. I would hope my wife would say, he loved me, and I felt seen and heard by him. I don’t know this is all probably ego talking. More than likely, it’s going to be a whole lot of he was a real pain in the ass. But he was our pain in the ass. Ha, ha, ha. Salud!
Contact Info:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/felixigoriramos/
- Youtube: @felixigoriramos2512
Image Credits
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