Today we’d like to introduce you to Trisha Fey E.
Hi Trisha Fey, thanks for sharing your story with us. To start, maybe you can tell our readers some of your backstory.
My name is Trisha Fey – and yes, that is my full first name! I was named after my two grand mothers and am the eldest female in the family among my siblings and cousins. I am also an Aries Sun, Scorpio Moon, and Gemini rising – and a lot of my traits associated with these signs include leadership, depth, and adaptability. They are also the same top 3 signs as Lady Gaga – so I hope to meet her one day.
I was born in the Philippines but grew up in Juneau, Alaska. My family sacrificed a lot to migrate to the U.S., so I felt a strong responsibility to set an example for my siblings and my cousins. I started dancing in middle school and high school, but when I went to college, I took a break. Still, dance remained an important outlet for me.
After high school, I attended a private Christian university and earned a degree in social work. My early career focused on domestic and sexual violence advocacy, as well as grassroots activism in Portland, supporting women’s rights, LGBTQ+ rights, and the Filipino community. During this time, dance and art were not in the background. I was also married at the time, and my then-partner and I worked closely together in activism. During our first year of marriage, I considered returning to dance and even reached out to a university dance department to ask if it was possible to start professionally at 22. Their response—”At 22, it would be hard to start dancing professionally”—discouraged me.
That rejection led me to yoga. I began teaching, and by 2019, I was discovered by Nike and the Yoga Journal. I landed my first commercial, which was my first experience having my story shared on a larger platform. This moment reignited my interest in movement and reminded me that dance could still be part of my life.
During the pandemic, my ex and I separated. With time to reflect, we realized our goals were no longer aligned. This is when I discovered pole dance.
I started taking pole classes consistently and trained with my mentor, Christie Spillane, who came to my house weekly. I wanted to embrace my sensuality after feeling like I was out of my feminine for years. While I adored my ex-partner, I felt like I couldn’t be my full self. Our families have a Christian background, so I felt like I couldn’t truly express myself. When we went our different ways, I wanted to dance at strip clubs. At the time, I believed that working in clubs was one of the few ways to make a living as a dancer.
So in 2021, I started dancing at Club Rouge.. My first night on stage, I made over $1,200! I felt amazing–I showed up as myself and didn’t really care what people were thinking about me. After letting go of a relationship, I felt like I could finally express the part of myself I had been repressing. Naturally, people were drawn to me. Every night, I told at least one customer: “I’m moving to LA to dance.”
Two years later, I had saved enough money to move to Los Angeles. My goals were to dance and get signed with a dance agency. More than anything, I wanted to start fresh, embrace my artistry full-time, and grow as a performer.
I had no idea what was ahead, but I was ready to find out.
I’m sure it wasn’t obstacle-free, but would you say the journey has been fairly smooth so far?
When I officially moved to Los Angeles, I didn’t have a set plan—just the determination to dance. I had been putting it off, telling myself I wasn’t ready, that I needed more money, more clarity. In May 2022, after a breakup with a situationship, I packed my car, and drove straight from Portland to LA. I told myself I would give myself a few months to decide if I wanted to fully move to LA.
For the first few months, I worked at a coffee shop, explored the city, and made the daily drive from South Central to North Hollywood for dance classes. That first year was about discovery. I went to Da Poetry Lounge and Cuties LA to tap into my love for words. I took classes at Playground, Millennium, and TMilly and even competed in vogue ballroom battles. I pushed myself to be seen, to show up, to put my artistry out there—and with that came rejection. A lot of it.
I told myself I had a few months to figure out if LA was right for me. However, I felt isolated and uncertain. When my sublet ended on July 31st, I was ready to head back to Portland if I couldn’t find a place.
One day, I decided to call a friend I had met through a Galen Hooks’ mentorship program. When I called, I told her about my situation and she happened to have a room opening on August 1st in North Hollywood. Immediately, I decided that it was my sign to stay. So, after my sublet ended, I drove back to Portland, packed up more of my items and then drove back to move into my new place in North Hollywood.
I decided to hone in on pole dance while still training in other styles. Around the same time, I signed with a commercial acting agent, even though acting wasn’t my focus at the time. I booked one commercial that year but quickly realized I needed to focus my attention elsewhere. In hindsight, the experience gave me a preview into what working on film/tv could be like as I am currently exploring acting. Choosing pole as my specialty and as something I would market myself as was a risk. It gave me a strong artistic identity but I understood that there would be stigma associated with it. While pole dancers and strippers are often glamorized, there is often a sense of objectification and dehumanization. Even in my personal dating life – men would initially be attracted to the fact that I pole dance but they had difficulty seeing me as a whole person outside of it.
I started training at Luscious Maven and Sabbath Circle, got involved with Polemaster’s Playhouse, and booked my first set experience as a pole dancer with The Queer 26. I also entered my first pole competition with the Pole Sport Organization and placed third in my category.
As I refined my style, I started getting referrals. Some jobs were incredible, while others were unorganized, sketchy. This was before I had an agent to filter opportunities for me. Eventually, I booked my first music video as a featured pole dancer for Yaqi, an independent Asian femme artist. That video later played in Times Square, New York.
I auditioned for Usher and Snoop Dogg, training relentlessly to make sure I was ready. In the process, I pushed myself too hard and injured my shoulders. When I wasn’t chosen, I took it personally. For months, I struggled to separate my self-worth from these outcomes. While I was training in pole, I decided to enroll in a 10-month dance program called LA Establishment, where I trained in various styles and worked with industry professionals. One of my mentors emphasized the importance of chasing goals without becoming attached to the outcome—a lesson I wasn’t ready to hear then, but one I’d later come to understand.
In March 2024, during spring break, I booked time in the pole studio just for myself. No pressure, no goals—just movement. It reminded me why I started dancing in the first place. I had spent so much time striving, trying to prove myself, that I had lost sight of the joy in it. That reset changed everything. During this time, multiple people sent me a casting call for an A-list artist’s music video, looking for two pole dancers. I applied and forgot about it—I had learned by then not to get too attached.
A few days later, I got the text: I was booked.
The first week of April, I filmed for my first A-list artist music video. I could tell this was a massive production—over 100 cast members, strict NDAs, and a project title: “Drink N Dance FxM.” It didn’t take long to realize what that meant. Future and Metro Boomin. I was about to be a featured pole dancer in their music video.
I hadn’t booked Usher. I hadn’t booked Snoop Dogg. But I had just been cast for two artists I never even thought I’d dance for. It was a reminder that the industry works in unexpected ways.
After that, more bookings followed. I was cast in a Julia Michaels music video, landed a principal dancer role in an Emmy-winning HBO show (Hacks), and became a recurring featured background actor (pole dancer) for a major HBO series…which I cannot wait to talk about!
None of this happened overnight. The rejections, the setbacks, the moments of doubt—they were all part of it. But what I’ve learned is that consistency is everything. You put yourself out there enough times, and eventually, the right doors open.
Appreciate you sharing that. What else should we know about what you do?
In my community and industry I am specifically known for being both a dancer and pole dancer. There are not a lot of people that train in both aerial arts and commercial dance. In fact, the pole community in LA knows me as a dancer and the dance community knows me as a strong pole dancer. While being a performing artist, I teach online with Reddlight Therapy, in person pole classes at Sabbath Circle and offer 1:1 privates.
What a lot of people do not know though, is that I am an older dancer that has experience working with survivors of abuse and specifically coaches students using a trauma-informed lens. Due to my experience with art and social justice, I am drawn specifically to using movement to help heal and empower women, especially other women of color.
Recently, for example, I directed my first video using dance, pole, and acting to highlight women empowerment. It was unique because I incorporated pole, hip hop style dance, and acting –which is not as commonly seen.
The storyline was about a stripper who decided to walk away from a long term relationship because her partner was cheating on her with another stripper. I wanted to highlight the complexities of women who are in a career that is naturally objectifying – and whether some of us would like to admit it or not, society tends to view women as less than human if they are a part of the sex work industry. While possible to have healthy relationships – it does propose a unique challenge. I find that women who are pole dancers and/or strippers tend to hide it from friends and family or if they are open about it, they have to strictly enforce their boundaries and remind people to treat them well.
In this storyline, both women choose to walk away from the man and they become friends instead, cherishing their own sense of empowerment, sisterhood and platonic intimacy over romantic intimacy.
You can find the video here: www.vimeo.com/trishafey
Can you tell us more about what you were like growing up?
If you knew me when I was younger, you will be surprised. I was the shy, quiet girl who hid behind my mom in public, relying on her to speak for me. Social situations overwhelmed me. I still remember my first time performing the violin at a party—I froze, ran off, and cried. My teachers often commented on my talent but also on how reserved I was.
Despite my shyness, dance pulled me in. It gave me a space where I didn’t have to speak to be understood. It wasn’t just about movement—it was a way to create my own world, one where I could invite people in. Over time, my nervousness transformed into something else: presence, magnetism, confidence.
Part of my shyness was because I had a rich inner world, always daydreaming, creating stories, drawing, and writing poetry. I was also a little boy crazy, drawn to people who were initially intrigued by my creativity and mystery but often unprepared for the depth of my emotions. They eventually became my subject source for the things I created. Creativity was my escape, my way of making sense of the world around me.
In high school, I tried out for the dance team—and it didn’t come easily. My first two years, I had to fight for my spot and wasn’t placed in all the routines. Rejection hit hard, feeding the belief that I wasn’t good enough. But I kept showing up, training, and improving. By my junior and senior year, I became an officer. By senior year, I was captain. The same girl who once hid behind her mother was now leading a team.
Despite my natural inclination to hide due to my social anxiety, life still found ways to push me to be seen.
Pricing:
- 1000 pole mentorship 10 weeks
- 333 pole mentorship 4 weeks
- 5.55 Substack
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.heytrishafey.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lilfeyfey
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/heytrishafey
- Twitter: www.instagram.com/heytrishafey
- Youtube: www.vimeo.com/trishafey
- Other: https://www.substack.com/@lilfeyfey
Image Credits
Jade Sol
Amy Maramba
Lee Gumbs
Liam Woods
Photographers for Future x Metro & Julia Micheals music videos
