Today we’d like to introduce you to Jessica Anne Pressler
Hi Jessica Anne, we’d love for you to start by introducing yourself.
My path to becoming a psychotherapist began unexpectedly in eighth grade, when my personal experience with bullying led me to help other students facing similar challenges. Throughout highschool, I found myself naturally gravitating toward supporting peers who were being bullied, unknowingly laying the foundation for my future career in social work. My focus was entirely on helping others, while my own journey of self-discovery would come much later.
After I graduated Columbia School Of Social Work with my Masters in 1988, I worked as a psychotherapist at Jewish Family Services, and in private practice and did visitation and custody evaluations for the bergen county family courts until I joined Englewood Hospital Medical Center as hospice social worker in 2006 and remained there until I moved to California in 2017 where I continued as a hospice social worker but as a volunteer.
In 2015, I took a hard look at my life. As I moved through life, I found myself repeating a pattern of toxic relationships, starting in high school and continuing through three marriages. It wasn’t until after my third divorce, when I decided to pause dating due to my planned move to California, that I finally had the space to examine these patterns. This break from relationships became a crucial turning point in my self-awareness journey.
During this period of reflection, I made a profound discovery about myself. I identified a part of my personality that had been shaped by childhood trauma – a deep-seated fear of abandonment. I came to understand how this fear had influenced my relationships throughout my life. As a child, I had developed coping mechanisms to feel safe, learned through messaging and modeling. While these strategies served a protective purpose in childhood, they became dysfunctional in my adult romantic relationships. I came to call this aspect of myself the “traitor within.”
Once I identified this pattern, I began the work of understanding my triggers related to abandonment fears and developing healthier coping mechanisms. This self-awareness allowed me to make better choices for myself and break the cycle of toxic relationships. The realization that even as a psychotherapist I could repeat dysfunctional patterns was humbling, but it also showed me that these struggles are universal. This understanding transformed my professional mission – if someone trained in mental health could experience these challenges, then anyone could, and everyone deserves support in breaking free from these patterns.
This personal journey has deeply informed my approach to helping others. My experience has given me not just professional knowledge, but also genuine empathy and practical insights into the process of healing from trauma and breaking destructive relationship patterns. It has become my mission to help others recognize and transform their own patterns, using both my professional training and the wisdom gained from my personal journey of healing and self-discovery.
Self-discovery is the profound journey of understanding who we are at our deepest levels, encompassing our values, beliefs, desires, strengths, and areas for growth. Like being both explorer and uncharted territory, we gradually map the complex landscape of our inner world through various tools and practices that have emerged from both ancient wisdom traditions and modern psychology.
Reflective writing serves as a foundational tool, creating space to process our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on paper. Through regular journaling practice, we can uncover patterns, insights, and deeper truths that might otherwise remain hidden beneath the surface of our busy minds. This written exploration often reveals connections and themes we hadn’t consciously recognized before. Your Traitor Within Journal would be an example of a tool using reflective writing.
Mindfulness practices offer another essential pathway to self-knowledge. By cultivating present-moment awareness through meditation or informal moments of conscious attention, we develop the capacity to observe our thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations without judgment. This heightened awareness helps us understand our reactive patterns and discover what truly brings us peace versus what creates internal tension. Identifying one’s “Traitor Within” helps one gain awareness and insight into one’s triggers and trigger responses. Once identified and understood then one could work on changing how one responds to their triggers. Naming one’s “Traitor Within,” helps in communication as well as understanding. I also offer bracelets as tools to remind ourselves of our triggers and to replace our trigger response with breathwork, grounding exercises and other heathier examples.
Therapeutic relationships, whether with counselors, coaches, or trusted mentors, provide crucial support for self-discovery work. These professionals can offer structured guidance, reflect our blind spots, and hold space for the challenging emotions that arise during deep self-exploration. They help us navigate our inner landscape while maintaining healthy boundaries and integrating new insights into our daily lives.
My upcoming book, “Traitor Within” (Fall 2025), weaves together my personal journey of overcoming trauma with practical tools for healing and self-discovery. I am also the author of “Your Traitor Within: A Year of Journaling Prompts”, a downloadable PDF offering a full year of prompts to support therapeutic growth, available now on my website, and the hard copy will be available in the Spring 2025.
I have also been a hospice social worker for 18 years, the past 6 as a volunteer hospice grief counselor for Livingston Memorial Hospice and passionate advocate for mental health, LGBTQ+, and empowerment, I brings depth and authenticity to my work. Originally from Englewood, New Jersey, I now enjoy life in Southern California with my husband and dogs and visits from my incredible blended family. Connect with me on social media @jessicaannepressler or my website jessicaannepressler.com, where I have resources and close to 90 blogs on mental health.
Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
I have spent nearly four decades battling the aftermath of narcissistic abuse, trauma, and grief, both in others and within myself. At 50 I finally did the work. I was deep in the throes of unpacking my self-sabotage, desperate to uncover why I perpetually found myself entangled in devastating, toxic romantic relationships. Something was deeply wrong, an unseen force steering me into pain, yet I couldn’t pinpoint it.
Simultaneously, I began to grasp the dark complexities of narcissism—not just as a label thrown around, but as a living, toxic reality. I knew the clinical definition of NPD, but truth be told, those that should be diagnosed rarely step into a therapist’s office seeking salvation. Burdened by my own Traitor Within—a relentless voice of self-blame, repression, and denial—I was blind to my partners’ true natures until I gained some distance.
I couldn’t shake the relentless question: Why was I always the common denominator? I had endured three toxic marriages and countless destructive romantic relationships, clinging far longer than I should have. The same type of people, the same vicious cycles—they were eating away at my very soul. While writing my book, I slowly uncovered evidence of that traitorous inner presence, yet the full extent of the manipulation inflicted by those I loved remained a mystery.
Then, like a lightning bolt in a stormy night, clarity struck while I was absorbed in a book on narcissism. The revelation was explosive: understanding the twisted logic of narcissistic behavior liberated me from self-blame. I realized their manipulation wasn’t a reflection of my self-worth, but something far more devious. Discovering my traitor within and the truth about people with narcissistic traits, empowered me to takeoff the chains and become my true authentic self.
I firmly believe that when you see your own reflection in someone else’s story, it sparks transformation. That’s why I’ve left the confines of seeing clients one on one and into the raw arena of social media—Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook—where I relentlessly share resources, writings, and videos to make the brutal journey of healing accessible to all. Visit my website, jessicaannepressler.com, where over 80 unapologetic blogs stand as testament to the fight for mental health and healing. On the tumultuous road to healing, your first mission is to acknowledge your Traitor Within and understand that they don’t define you.
Thanks for sharing that. So, maybe next you can tell us a bit more about your work?
I received a masters in clinical social work in 1988 and since then I have helped individuals, families, and couples cope. I have worked as a hospice social worker for the past 18 years, and for the past six of those 18 years I have volunteered for Livingston Memorial Hospice in Ventura as a grief counselor and supervised their MSW students. Since I moved to California 7 1/2 years ago, I have volunteered only, written two books, and came up with a concept “traitor within,” and just launched a podcast. I do daily video on all social media on mental health and have written almost 90 blogs that are available on my website on many mental health subjects. I have appeared on other podcasts and I do a weekly or biweekly Instagram lives on many mental health subjects.
*Please see previous answers for more details. I feel like I keep repeating myself. Thank you for this opportunity.
Do you have recommendations for books, apps, blogs, etc?
“Out of the fog” by Dana MorningStar, “The Unseen Wounds of Women” by Carolyn Strawson, “The Codependency Manifesto” by Lisa Romano and “It’s Not You” by Ramani Durvasula. I love listening to Med Circle.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://jessicaannepressler.com
- Instagram: @jessicaannepressler
- Facebook: @jessicaannepressler
- LinkedIn: Jessicaannepressler
- Youtube: Jessicaannepressler
Image Credits
Susan Bowlus is the photographer. @susanbowlusphoto all pictures taken in Malibu and Oxnard California.
