Today we’d like to introduce you to Paige Cary.
So, before we jump into specific questions, why don’t you give us some details about you and your story.
I am grateful that my parents gave my older brother, Chase and I the freedom to find our own way over the years, which really encouraged us to hone into what makes us who we are today. I went to college at AMDA: College & Conservatory of the Performing Arts in New York City and Los Angeles to pursue a career in acting. While pushing to get my foot in the industry for acting, it never fully occurred to me until after I graduated college that writing has always been my safe haven when it came to managing my emotions. The past couple of years have been dedicated to focusing on my mental health. Once I came to terms with the traumas that have come into my life, there was no denying the urge I felt to use my voice through my writing to help others. My family blessed me by seeing that I needed intensive therapy to focus on surviving through my mental health; this time began the process of writing my now self-published book, “A Paige In My Diary”. Intensive treatment gave me the chance to rediscover what it means to unconditionally love myself all while navigating my way through healing. I had gotten to the point of feeling deeply ashamed of where I was at in my life because a part of me felt like I was somehow losing my passion for what made me an artist, failing to realize that these struggles were only coming my way to bring me closer to where I am supposed to go with my passions.
I finally had to take a step back and remind myself that when these judgmental thoughts tried to push their way into every corner of my mind that being an artist takes patience. My journey is not going to be a direct reflection of the artist next to me who is trying to reach their own personal goals. We are living through a time right now where people are finding their voice; silence is no longer the norm at this point. The experiences that I have gone through has allowed others to feel safe with sharing their own stories; the more I release what is inside of me the easier it gets to be an advocate for those who feel alone and unheard within themselves. The story that is bringing transition into my life is not over and there is so much more life for me to live as I can see my future clearly now.
Has it been a smooth road?
I have to laugh to myself when asking myself this question with an open heart because the answer is a hard no. If I take the time to think about my dreams and aspirations without any sort of restrictions or judgments towards myself, I would not even hesitate when I say that one day I see myself thriving on an up and coming Netflix series that has female characters that unapologetically stand inter truth and being a well- known New York Times Best Selling Author in poetry and fiction writing. Have I made that my reality yet…no, but I know that all the bumps I have had to get over is making the pathway to that reality more accessible everyday. As I mentioned before, I am an open book now when it comes to how I have gotten to where I am now.
There were plenty of moments that came up that were forcing me to acknowledge what I so desperately wanted to keep buried away out of fear of “embarrassment” after I graduated from college. I couldn’t deny the feelings that always found its way to the top of mind when it came to how safe I felt around women anymore. It wasn’t too difficult for me to come to terms with my sexuality as a pansexual woman, but when the time came to find peace in my sexual traumas, I would have much rather run in the opposite direction without ever saying a word about it! As time has moved forward, I have found peace in my story because I understand that what I have gone through has only made me more resilient with a new sense of motivation towards making my dreams my reality. I can look around and see that those who see my light never judge me when some days are simply harder than others. Everyday brings something new and I am in a place where I want to take the pressure off of myself to complete everything all at once. I want to find comfortability with living in the now instead of focusing on where I still have left to go.
We’d love to hear more about your work and what you are currently focused on. What else should we know?
My poetry falls under confessional poetry, pouring my heart out into every word that I write. I do all of my writing in my journal before anything ever finds its way to a document online. I have always been the person who had either a book or a journal attached to me wherever I went, this has followed me to this day. I began sharing my poetry for others to view only three years ago. The words that come to me for my writing usually pop up in my mind as short phrases, and if I don’t write out the phrase there is a high probability that I will lose the thought completely. I didn’t even realize I was working on my first poetry book back in 2017 when I was in intensive therapy but I had written through a couple of journals of mine to see that I should put this collection together. ” A Paige In My Diary” follows my journey through self-discovery with my sexuality, my continuous fight towards healing from sexual trauma and the realization that despite what has been handed to me in my twenty-five years of life, I have always been surrounded by love and happiness. The book was self-published in February of this year and is available on online platforms, such as Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Walmart and Target; you can also find the book in selected bookstores in the Los Angeles area. I am in the process of researching for a literary agent to guide me in the right direction to gain more readers towards my poetry.
My biggest hope for “A Paige In My Diary” is to have readers that relate to my words while having a moment of clarity within themselves that pushes them to acknowledge their own story. Survivors of any trauma and individuals working through understanding their sexuality deserve to feel validated. My readers should know that poetry book number two is in the works as we speak, they can expect a major transformation in my growth. I look forward to what the future holds for me when it comes to my paving my way in both words of acting and writing!
Let’s touch on your thoughts about our city – what do you like the most and least?
I absolutely love the fact that Los Angeles is such an open city. Unlike other cities in our country, I knew after the first year of living here that I am not alone in wanting to make a name for myself here. Everybody’s drive to be seen is unmatched compared to any other city I have found myself in. It is easy to feel invisible in this city too though because there are so many people that are going after the same dream as you, so it can be discouraging in moments to feel seen in the sea of others. Comparison never gives what is needed and the sooner you are able to settle into that thought the quicker you will realize that the only worry you must be concerned about is how it is that you see yourself.
Photographers: @_portraitmami @hen___ry @stephseverance @joce.james, Cover Art For “A Paige In My Diary” : @bewell_livefree