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Meet Jacqueline Martinez of Xecure Podcast

Today we’d like to introduce you to Jacqueline Martinez.

So, before we jump into specific questions, why don’t you give us some details about you and your story.
I started on this newfound passion shortly getting out of a toxic relationship with a toxic man and having a miscarriage. I was working on healing my heart, my soul and my body. My heart had been torn into pieces too small for me to put back together, my soul had been ripped from me and my body was lost in angst. I was confused with how I had ended up at square one, living in my parent’s home. I was broken with how love had taken place in my life. I felt used by God as a lesson in motherhood not fulfilled. I was in a dark place and although it wasn’t the first time I was in this darkness, this time I knew it would be the last time I wallowed in it. So, I began to make changes in my life. I knew how to get out of this because I had done it before. I remember telling myself that if I had made it through X, Y and Z in my past I would most definitely be able to get out of this and come out stronger.

I began to force myself to get up early to go on walks and listen to motivational ted talks, self-development ted talks and look for podcasts. I created a happy playlist and put it on replay for weeks. Finally, I found podcasts, then reconnected with my spirituality and finally I arrived at Empowerment events. This is where I really kicked into full throttle mode. I reconnected with an old friend from high school who is now TheEastLA girl on IG. She and I felt connected from the moment we ran into each other. We then started to talk over facetime and realized we both were trying to develop not only ourselves but help others around us. I joined her as a volunteer for an incredible organization called four girls, who put on events for middle school and high school girls for self-empowerment, development, and support. Carmen and I decided we loved this idea of feeding the young girls from our alma mater Woodrow Wilson High School. So we reached out and well, unfortunately, we weren’t able to reach anyone from the school and stopped trying. We felt discouraged but decided to try with another school instead. While we planned this, I attended a podcast workshop with two girlfriends who I was working on developing another passion project, an indoor playground for children diagnosed with autism. This project had come to a standstill as well because of financial limitations so I thought maybe podcasting would be the way to push forward without an actual location for our project. So we attended this workshop together.

Here is the plot twist. During this podcast workshop, I realized I was there for me, for my own voice and for my own growth. I left the class inspired but I just didn’t know for what. I walked around for two weeks with soo many things to say about healing yourself and loving yourself and stepping into your power. I had years of practice with healing myself and was actually doing it again as I was brainstorming my podcast. So I finally just sat down and wrote down what I was feeling and that is how the first episode of the prologue was created. I have always loved writing, speaking and creating. So it was no surprise when I found myself recording this on my laptop. I loved it and I immediately was hooked. I then went into the eBook that the podcast workshop provided and began to dissect the steps to creating a podcast. Although this eBook was extensively informative, it wasn’t my style, I am a trust your gut type of person and so I skimmed the book for the bits that felt aligned with my vision. Found the resources for free music, how to edit and where to stream and so began Xecure Podcast. Everything was easy, everything came naturally and flowed effortlessly.

I began to share my episodes with family and then I received criticism for not sounding professional, criticism for sounding like a smooth jazz radio host, criticism for not having the right equipment. This was the first test, I ignored them and I moved forward. I asked a cousin to help me with some basic editing skills I could use on garage band and for some affordable options for equipment and then I combined his advice into a version that fit me and my vision and moved forward. I found a used microphone on offer up that I adapted to my iPhone and recorded my second and third episodes for my prologue. As I sat on the cliff out in Palos Verdes, one of my favorite spots, I recorded myself and I was hooked. When I was younger, I kept diaries and somewhere along the line lost the motivation to write. Then in college as an English major I began to keep poetry books but then would destroy them when I was done as a form of release, I now regret this but that’s something I have also released lol the point is that I had now found a new way to create and it felt so right.

I then realized after completing the prologue, that what my heart yearned for was a safe space for all to learn what I had to learn the hard way throughout years of depression alone and misunderstood panic attacks. I also wanted a safe space for healing and growth where others could teach me about their own experiences and we could form a support system for all who felt aligned. We could all be so much less alone during our hardships if we only learned how to hold space for each other and for ourselves. This was it, this was what my soul was yearning for and I had just poured it into my prologue.

Next, I had to figure out what I was going to start with and at first, I decided I wanted to dedicate my first series to mothers because Mother’s day was coming up, or so I thought. Once I hit record on the mic my spirit took me in another direction. I began to speak about mothers and then ended up speaking about my miscarriage. I told some of my story with losing my baby at 11 weeks. This series was an ode to all mothers, even those that had lost. I realized that I needed to heal this in myself, I had not spoken to anyone in my family about my loss besides my parents and siblings and grandmother. Although they showed me love, I felt as if they didn’t feel like my loss was a big deal and as though I didn’t really experience anything out of the ordinary. Yet on the inside, I was grieving, alone once again. When I heard myself speak on this episode, I realize this was meant to be a space of healing, sharing and supporting for more women. So The Crown of a Mom became the series honoring mothers who lost children as well as those who had children and supporting the women not able to have children and those suffering from depression after birth. It became a safe space to share, heal and grow. This was such a magical turn of events, it was like Xecure Podcast had a soul of its own and I was simply the vessel. I trusted my gut and went with it. So many women reached out to thank me for doing this for holding space and for sharing space but all I could think was how grateful I felt for not having to heal alone anymore.

Moving forward, I have continued to follow my gut and although Xecure continues to develop, one thing is for sure, it is creating a community of power, magic, and self-love. This is my podcast mission statement, to help others step into their power, find their magic and love themselves. It has been this for me so far and so many who listen and I know it will only grow from here. Since then, I have also begun to plan and host events representing this very mission. I hosted a launch event titled Xecure to Launch in July of this year. I hosted a panel of women in the community of empowerment in which I had found my own power and put them on to speak about how they stepped into their power, found their magic and learned to love themselves and it was so magical, I fell in love with putting on events here!

I saw my community being built, being developed and connecting to each other and it filled my heart with so much joy and inspiration. I found a new light, I found something I didn’t know I loved and that I was great at, connecting people, empowering community and creating safe spaces for growth. The Mayor of Alhambra showed up to my event and expressed wanting to collaborate on some events for high school girls and I almost lost my mind, life is such a whirlwind but we can make it easier by allowing it to carry us or we can make it worse by fighting the forces. How ironic was it that a few months back, I was disappointed with not being able to put on the workshops for my high school and now here I was with an offer from the mayor of my hometown asking me to do that very thing with her. I was so struck, how absolutely powerful it felt to have trusted my gut, trusted my path and allowed flow to dictate what came next, only for it to give me what I wanted as a cherry on top. WOW!

Fast forward today, I have put on my second and third event in collaboration with incredible women like Vanessa The Bizness Coach. An event highlighting all those who have found a way to keep moving forward in when it seems like they are at a wall. Womxn Pivot was an event I put on with another fellow podcaster Orit from Amigas in Business in order to celebrate Latinx Heritage Month and spotlight Womxn in our community who have successfully pivoted from a 9-5 into entrepreneurship, left their country and pivoted in this one, or simply had to pivot in strategies for their own business and or personal life. This was what I envisioned, putting on events to connect the community and to empower others to continue to step into their magic and love their journey. Then the recent Babe Mixer was a dinner put on to connect the people we have met throughout the year so that we can all really get to know each other and develop networks from sincere community development. We often get so busy with our jobs and out projects and families that we don’t have time to really spend time with one another so this dinner was meant to be a one-stop-shop for all of our friendship needs and to promote the development of our individual connections and let me tell you it was an absolute success.

I don’t have my life figured out and I don’t have the life I dream of but I have chosen to enjoy the path to my purpose and am determined to touch as many lives as I can on the way there, maybe even pick up some equally magical hitchhikers along the way. I plan on putting on more events in 2020 and continuing my podcast well into the future. I am delighted with the community I am forming a part of and absolutely blessed to be meeting so many like-minded individuals. It is a whole new world and I am hungry for more growth in it.

Overall, has it been relatively smooth? If not, what were some of the struggles along the way?
The podcast itself has been a smooth development but the other moving parts have been difficult. For example, I worked a full-time job in ABA as a case specialist and parent consultant when I started and am working on completing my master’s degree in ABA as well. Time management has been extremely important and so has self-care. I love attending the events put on by my community and enjoy listening to everyone else’s podcasts and hanging out and connecting with new friends but then when I get home, I still have papers to write, tests to take, readings to do and modules to complete. Not to mention having to work and write reports, and keep tabs on parents at work and their progress and our kiddos progress. I also have personal things like chiropractor visits, doctor appointments, car trouble, dating life, family events, etc. I have days where I leave my house at 7:30 am and don’t come back until 11:00 pm. I also have days that I just don’t do anything because I feel drained. I am still working on finding. A balance between it all. I have learned to allow myself time and space to fall and recover and not expect a steady line of results, I am human and I won’t have the same energy, mood, inspiration, consistency or motivation every day and this is okay. Once I realized that and accepted it, I didn’t feel guilt or panic when I didn’t feel my best.

Xecure Podcast – what should we know? What do you do best? What sets you apart from the competition?
the podcast itself has been a smooth development but the other moving parts have been difficult. For example, I worked a full-time job in ABA as a case specialist and parent consultant when I started and am working on completing my master’s degree in ABA as well. Time management has been extremely important and so has self-care. I love attending the events put on by my community and enjoy listening to everyone else’s podcasts and hanging out and connecting with new friends but then when I get home, I still have papers to write, tests to take, readings to do and modules to complete. Not to mention having to work and write reports, and keep tabs on parents at work and their progress and our kiddos progress. I also have personal things like chiropractor visits, doctor appointments, car trouble, dating life, family events, etc. I have days where I leave my house at 7:30 am and don’t come back until 11:00 pm. I also have days that I just don’t do anything because I feel drained. I am still working on finding. A balance between it all. I have learned to allow myself time and space to fall and recover and not expect a steady line of results, I am human and I won’t have the same energy, mood, inspiration, consistency or motivation every day and this is okay. Once I realized that and accepted it, I didn’t feel guilt or panic when I didn’t feel my best.

What is “success” or “successful” for you?
I define success every day, it is just a mindset, a perspective and it is subjective to each individual who holds it. I used to have this idea that success was an endgame, it was a destination but ow I see it as an experience I can choose to have in everything I do and try. Success is what you decide it is, from completing a homework assignment to making it into work on time. Success for me, is each piece of my daily experience. When you make this perspective change the pressure of “becoming successful” is gone and you now simply are successful every day in anything you decide to be that day. We create every day, we complete tasks every day, we get out and move every day, even in the darkest days we manage to open our eyes even if only for a moment but at that moment success has to be THAT in order to celebrate ourselves. There are enough obstacles working against us in our tangible life for us to create more out of words like SUCCESS and then to place so much pressure on getting it, it seems like self-sabotage. So I chose to define it every day differently and in terms of what that day was like for me, only me, no one else.

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Image Credit:
Dideelux Photography

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