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Meet Dr. Oome

Today we’d like to introduce you to Dr. Oome.

Dr. Oome, can you briefly walk us through your story – how you started and how you got to where you are today.
We started our practice about 17 years ago in Forks Of Salmon, CA. Our partnership began after we crossed paths while working at the San Jose Spearmint Rhino Gentlemen’s Club at the same time as fluffers for the patrons. We took to each other right away and it was clear that we would do something great together in the future. After our boss at Spearmint Rhino decided he wanted to pursue a career in techno, there was a brief intermediary period between starting this practice and our time at The Club that we worked together at a theater that proved to be soul-crushing to one of us, but a worthwhile endeavor for the other as one of us still moonlights as an Usher there from time to time.

Now that our practice has reached it’s Sophomore stage and is approaching the Junior, we are coming into our own and ready to take on the ailments that the world has to offer. We are Dr. Oome and we are here to cure you.

Overall, has it been relatively smooth? If not, what were some of the struggles along the way?
If I may take some metaphorical liberties, the road has been well paved but we have decided to abandon the safety of the asphalt and drive our car through the barrier into the ocean. The road was smooth but there’s nothing quite as smooth as the cool touch of the Pacific on your feet as it trickles in through your windows and begins to pool at your feet. Finally, upon remembering to close the windows so the water doesn’t pour in and drown us as we sink to the ocean floor, I press the “4-Wheel-Drive” button and our car starts to chug along the ocean floor.

The wet sand 50-feet below the surface is nowhere near as smooth as the pavement of the asphalt everyone else is on… but as a great poet once said, “Two roads diverged in a wood and I – I went on the one that wasn’t the main one, and that has made a really big difference.”

What else should our readers know?
We are practical doctors. Or… practically doctors, you might say. We bring the Oome to those who are in need of what was missing. Many others like to think they bring the Oome, but little do they know is that they do not, for we are the only ones capable of bringing the Oome.

Any shoutouts? Who else deserves credit in this story – who has played a meaningful role?
I want to give a big shout out to all our haters who said we would never make it this far. Now, look at us! We have our own shirts. My mother would be very proud if she didn’t hate what we do and think it’s “not a real practice” and “not music” but this is why we are the doctor and she is also a doctor, but she does not bring the Oome like we do.

Oome is eternal and unyielding.


  • Oomejob – $5
  • Oometercourse – $6
  • Oomeography – $2

Contact Info:

Image Credit:
Ariana Tibi, Dylan Alexander Freeman, Alexander Simmons, Alexander Kent, April Gerloff

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