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Meet Elda M. Lopez

Today we’d like to introduce you to Elda M. Lopez.

Elda, let’s start with your story. We’d love to hear how you got started and how the journey has been so far.
My mission promoting infidelity prevention was a gradual build. Infidelity was a constant subject in the news for a while. So much so, I found it to be annoying and frustrating. Why wasn’t it being addressed on a deeper level? Why aren’t we dealing with this chaotic circumstance more effectively? These thoughts kept nagging at me. Sometime thereafter, it was revealed that a certain California governor committed infidelity and had a child out of wedlock, I thought: Enough already!

This is what prompted me to write, THE (IN)FIDELITY FACTOR: Points to Ponder Before You Cheat (Amazon 4.9 stars). There are countless infidelity stories — countless. Truth is, I’ve been on both sides of the fence: my ex-husband cheated on me, and I’ve been the “other” woman. So I decided to put my annoyance, frustration, and curiosity to work. I wanted to share lessons learned and insights gained through my own growth, and the stories of others who’ve also had the experience. I address infidelity nonjudgmentally and promote self-awareness, personal accountability, education, and growth. We could all use a good dose of this.

There are plenty of books on the market that examine after-the-fact: discovery, healing, etc. Although my book deals with the “before” aspect, it can also be a guide for any stage in the relationship process. Surprisingly, there are very few books that explore prevention as a single topic — another curiosity. The content specifically speaks to those who are considering, or are currently involved in, a committed relationship.

We’re always bombarded by how great it is to pursue your passion, etc. – but we’ve spoken with enough people to know that it’s not always easy. Overall, would you say things have been easy for you?
Passion is great. It fuels action. This enabled me to complete my book in about nine months, but other elements are also needed to see a project through to fruition. As a one-woman show on a shoestring budget with no prior book writing experience, the road to becoming a self-published author was definitely one huge learning curve after another. I delved into very unfamiliar, and at times, highly uncomfortable territory. But, of course, that’s where growth and inspiration happen. It hasn’t been easy, but it becomes easier with consistency, milestones reached and the end goal firmly in sight. Then you’ve got yourself a published book!

One of the most eye-opening aspects of this journey has been the exploration of my personal boundaries. As tolerant and open-minded as I think I am, I have to keep expanding my boundaries to accommodate the numerous narratives I hear. Some of what I’m told, I don’t understand, but that doesn’t make it any less real. It encourages me to do more research. This I do know: Infidelity is definitely NOT one size fits all. The reasons and outcomes are varied. It’s not as simple as needing spicier sex, wanting to be a player, etc. Most don’t take unique individual backstories into consideration: family structure, culture, religion, economic class. This, coupled with societal conditioning, gender stereotypes, health issues, and mental disorders, creates many stories in the city. Too many.

And speaking of not easy, it’s been a challenge to get people en masse to explore and share this subject matter. As an example, I was scheduled to speak, along with others, at an infidelity-themed seminar in Washington D.C. The event manager did everything to get it up and running. There was tremendous interest, but as it turned out, no one wanted to physically show up. Unfortunately, the seminar had to be canceled. The following year, the same manager chose to do a virtual summit instead. Over 500 people signed up to listen in!

On another note, whenever I’ve done a book signing or speech, inevitably someone wants to tell me their personal story. They don’t necessarily want to hear my input (kind of funny, but I respect that, after all, they just heard me speak), however, people do want to be heard. It’s about bridging this gap that proves tricky. (I’m always open to suggestions.)

We’d love to hear more about what you do.
I continue to reach out and spread the word of infidelity prevention. The subject matter is evergreen, which means my message and mission can repeat indefinitely. I understand this is a highly emotional topic, having been through it, but without an open forum, it stays behind not-so-closed-doors. If infidelity can’t be discussed in practical, thought-provoking terms, progress isn’t realized and the cycle continues. Even though some consider this to be a private matter, it nonetheless affects everyone involved. The infidelity web reaches far and wide. After effects bleed into society at large. And, guess what? We’re all society at large!

Prevention will save energy, time, tears, money and so much more. It starts with the individual. Healthy individuals help create healthy relationships.

We’re each worth the effort. It’s time to step up our game. It’s time for better, bigger, broader changes. Time to be the change-up!

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Getting in touch: VoyageLA is built on recommendations from the community; it’s how we uncover hidden gems, so if you know someone who deserves recognition please let us know here.

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